Ich bin a Dolfer Girl
As another Lame Cherry exclusive in matter anti matter.
In one of the most interesting polls, women in a majority stated that they thought the Adolf Hitler mustache as the most erotic, most manly, and the one they fantasized most about.
Even when Jewish women were included in the poll, a full 34% of them answered that they thought Hasidic males should reform and go orthodox with a Hitler mustache.
It was the stache that made me a star.
One can understand this, as the world fell in love with Charlie Chaplin, who was the trend setter in the bitch' stache department. While everyone was laughing, who knew that women were getting off on Charlie's stache, which rivaled in polling to Rudolf Valentino!!!
Charlie got more women with his stache than I ever did.
Women brought some startling revelations in this, in several admitted to calling out ADOLF during sex, and most men in the throws of passion, like the Beatles song in Number 9, hear not Turn me on Dead Man, but Oh god!!!!
I did a quick search of this and discovered a number of most attractive men, starred in movies, just so they could wear their Hitler mustache in public for a year while filming. Their wives and lovers were most appreciative of this, and many of these actors admitted to their health improved, bald spots vanished and they had a spring in their step, as it was sex once in the morning and twice at night with the dolfer, which is the code name for the stache.
We caught up with comedic legend, Jewmeister Mel Brooks, and he readily posed with his dolfer. We can understand now why the gorgeous Anne Bancroft married Mr. Brooks, as this kind of power simply attracted her to the true manliness of Mr. Brooks, as he has always been a closet dolfer.
My wife married the stache not me.
There was Larry Hovis of Hogan's Heroes. Word had it that he never had time to star in any other productions as he had a 5 year waiting list of women who wanted a date with Mr. Hovis after his most sexy wearing of the dolfer.
My little black book is booked 5 years in advance.
Even perpetual Hollywood leftists, Collin Hanks, son of Tom Hanks and Bradley Whitford were seen out on a date with their bitchin' staches'. Crossing a line that they only dared to cross. Surely if these two brave actors have come out, should we not rally around and demand the democratic nominees for president all come out too?
We are the AltDolfers, hear us roar!!!
Anthony Hopkins, there simply needs to be no more explanation than saying his name. What sex symbol Mr. Hopkins is who went into overload in his stache. Word had it that the year that Mr. Hopkins wore his dolfer, that there were a record case of vaginal colds in the perpetual wetness he invoked.
Have you ever heard a vulva sneeze?
Other actors reached the zenith of their careers in wearing the dolfer. Some simply swore to never don it again, as it was simply too powerful and that kind of power could not be carried, except by the resolute few.
Not all men in the race can master the Dolfer!!!
I know there are many manly men out there, who go on prolonged outdoor adventures, to return home to their women, shave off their whiskers, but leave the dolfer on, and yes statistics show that the birth rate goes up when the dolfer is on, as women simply can not help but desire to reproduce with such a man.
Heil Dolfer!
In all of these revelations, can we now on the evidence simply not be led around by German hatred, anti Semitic charges, as this is not the case, as the reason Hitler is so popular is because women simply are enthralled by his bitchin' stache. It is not the lust for national socialism, but the yearning for those men who are behind locked bedroom doors, satisfying their women in ways which only the closet dolfer knows or goes where few men have gone before.
Should not sexually satiated couples no longer be held in Dolfer Closet and come out into public instead of facing ostracism for their sensual needs? Should not these men lead the way in helping lesser males achieve all they can be, if only they would dare to wear a bitchin' stache? Should not there be laws protecting Dolfers in a Dolfer's Right of Choice? Can we not all embrace this mustache which so has moved the world for a century?
Schnurrbart macht dich frei!!!
agtG