As another Lame Cherry exclusive in matter anti matter.
The following appeared in the NRA’s American Hunter in September 1979. It was so stupid that ST. Martin’s Press republished it in the Capstick wonderbytes of stories which mostly all sucked. I know I said I was done with the bwana, after his lying episodes of 600 pound pigs on a pony, but I came across this lecturing diatribe that Yanks don’t know what biltong is as they think it is jerky. Peter Hathaway Capstick though lectures that African biltong is nothing like the thinly sliced jerky of the United States which was then appearing, as biltong is strips of meat which are thick.
Apparently Capstick never opened a historical book or magazine about jerky in his entire life where it was mentioned from Theodore Roosevelt to various sporting magazines.
I honestly forget where I got this story I’m going to share, but it was interesting as it explains what jerky was. This took place in Colorado, and it may have been in one of Theodore Roosevelt’s many books. It was about an American who was married to a squaw, and their literally litter of children. there were allot of them. In America, after a cool wet spell in the West, before HAARP, there usually was a few weeks of warm, windy and dry weather called Indian Summer. Later you got squaw winter in November which froze things up, and then it thawed again.
It was during Indian Summer that the Indians and the Whites, would venture out to the buffalo herds to get their winter supply of meat, called jerky. Capstick drones on about fat meat………..NO YOU DO NOT use fat or marbled meat in jerky or biltong, because it will not cure, will go rancid and maggots get into it, as there is a secret to making jerky.
The term jerky, meant you skun out your buffalo, but you only used the hump or the loins. You got it loose and you jerked it away from the backbone. Yes jerky is named for that process.
Capstick has no idea about making jerky as he has salt and an air conditioner. The Americans had none of that, but there is a peculiar reality about thee American West, when you jerk meat in the heat of October sun and wind, the meat gets a glaze on it in about 15 minutes which makes it impervious to blow flies, to lay maggot eggs.
The American on this venture with his half breed children, jerked pile of meat. Hung it on the wagon box, the wagon tongue, the wheels to dry. When it was shriveled or made jerky, they stacked it into the wagon box and headed for home and put it where the mice would not be chewing on it which they did anyway.
Sometimes the squaws made pemmican of meat flour which the Oregon Trail author, whose name slips me said they used for flour as they got wheat hungry on that meat diet all the time. Pemmican is powdered dried jerky, which you can put berries into which are dried, and then you coat it all up with liquid buffalo tallow. Lasted forever, but I have never eaten any, nor care to as I have eaten enough Hereford tallow in the way the mother cooked things, and it still makes me wince like eating lemons.
Capstick likes eating his biltong wet. There is a word for that and it is raw. Jerky keeps getting drier and eating wet meat is probably a good way to get a gut ache and shit blood for a week or a nice parasite as some wild game does have eggs in it. Whatever the reality is, the reality is Capstick is full of shit and doesn’t have a clue about what jerky is, save out of his sportsman meat section at the gas station. Jerky and biltong are the same meat product. One is made of cape buffalo and one is made of bison buffalo. The only reason that you see those thin strips is loins cost a bundle and manufacturers use the shit pieces if they can in the tough meats, which you have to cut thin as you can not gnaw hard enough on some deer to get it to give up the ghost. Capstick the expert always though is clueless and once again when someone is this asstard and acts superior, the rest of the shit he wrote is just as bogus.
My brother had Capsticks early books. They were good for low IQ children. He also had a thing for smoking deer hams, which were good, but I still gag at thinking of that wet membrane between the muscles and getting that in your mouth. Just was gross…….like sucking on a corpse finger if you happen to know what that is like, I don’t, but some readers might go in for that kind of thing.
Sure I lied and told my brother his smoked meat was good, but after the first gourmet meal, I had enough and was done with his wet meat. That though is what Capstick apparently liked sucking on. Never know where he was visiting in the morgue I suppose to pass the time when the wet biltong ran out.
As I only have two more chapters in this worthless Death in a Lonely Land and why dried meat is in this, unless Capstick’s wet meat is killing people by their shitting themselves to death, I do not know. I just know he was making salt beef. Teddy Roosevelt had a better method which he used on elk tongue and other meat in that wettish type weather America has in the fall, in he smoked the meat. Kept the flies off, did a natural cure no one got bloody shits from eating wet meat.
Now you know what Capstick did not know. Now you know what that editor of American Hunter was clueless on and hopefully this will save some miscreant reader who is thinking wet meat and shitting blood is not part of the outdoor adventure.
Capstick probably voted for Jimmy Carter in that election too. He was that liberal type to vote against Ronald Reagan.
Nuff Said
agtG
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