So like everyone thought Ulsterman had gone tits up. The gossip was that as were my surveillance in the telltale signs, but you know this popular girl was about the coast as I do not like the coast, but in fantasies of distant relatives..........
Yes I have distant relatives, you know the Wedgwoods, Darwins and well I do not want to drop names, but you know being the genius of genius who made certain all this new money has money, it is just something about visiting people you do would rather were fantasies. They are people who live a distance from me.
So like I was explaining before you started asking about my powerful elite family bloodlines in my Mum's side, and not bothering to inquire about my equally powerful elite bloodlines on my pop's side, there was just this theorhetical conversation about how popular I was, and the relatives wanting me to show them off to the neighbors of this new money.
The Wedgwood was laid out in my honor, gold teaspoons with ivory inlays and diamond monograms........you know the stuff company gets to stir Darjeeling in picked off the personal plantation and you get to eat Russian teacakes made by a real English butler who had to massage my leather shoes while we conversed.
Anyway, so like was talking there, the family was bragging me up again in the neighbors were drooling and little cherub was online with the governess looking at real celebrity, when up piped the little cherub about Ulsterman and me, and how she knew all about it.
I say, "How is that ltitle cherub", so she says..........."Look here dear Lala, my best friends gardener heard through the grapevine all about you and Ulsterman.
I said again, "How is that little cherub", as children take forver to tell what they know.
So she says, "Well you know, M* ******** , "and I say, "No I'm not aware of them".
So the cherub says, "Well the gardener overheard that M* ******** was the Wall Street Insider and they say shalom and everything".
So I say, "Well that old gal is quite the gal in the cheese she spreads".
Cherub says, "Well Lala she is not a gal, but an old sod".
Things break down in that, as the mum wonders where she learned such language and as it came from me, it was a conversation which soon moved onto the husband wanting me to desing some furniture for them as he could tell I hated his coffee table.......something just gouche about ebony wood with ivory inlays and gold hardware.
So I tell them I will design it, build it and will tell them what they need as they have no taste in furniture and their daughter has been associating with the family who employs a gardener who hears things from elite people who vote for Obama and now know it is a mistake.
The parents assured me though that the cherub used hand sanitizer and did wear latex on her shoes when a play date took place there, as they were concerned about that Obama thing too as one just can not help who the neighbors are and gardeners when only having to deal with one gardenia tend to have to fill in time listening to things.
So I build this coffee table. Lovely Romano Grecia piece with an American classic flare.......looks like an Olympian Temple really, including ogee lines, which the astute will remember in my placing here as I do share my intimate life with you.
Price for it was 175,000 dollars, as people who slum have Tiffany while those who invest in fine architectural furnishings buy Lame Cherry, as if Laurence Oliver, F. Scott Fitzgerald or others had talent, they too would design masterpieces for the ages which will appreciate in value.
Was all that legal stuff too in it can never be sold to Rush Limbuagh as the blonde would no doubt want my wood if she ever heard in my select clientel had such a piece, as this kind of stuff is really dangerous to be involved in, as when word gets out my pieces start getting this silent bidding going on in offering private estates in exchange for one of work of art.
So the table is delivered, Lame Cherry exclusive, and the little cherub says, "Let's go take the spider monkey for a walk". I say, "That sounds like a wonderful idea", even if it is not as I detest cities in being so urban.
Next thing I know, cherub says, "I say Lala, that is Ulsterman over there with M* ******** and look at that military looking person there".
I say, "Cherub how do you know that is Ulsterman and the person is in the military?"
"Oh, "she says, "The gardener, he puts the pot plant for the secretary of M* ***** out as he likes her cookies, and she knew all about that meeting as M* **** told M* ********** ** how much that Jew was into things and his military friend was coming for a visit, but Ulsterman got a tummy ache in between".
Yes it was Ulsterman, so the cherub must have heard right as the help always knows more than the upstairs it seems.
I once had a chauffer like that. Knew everything in the county and about me, and I never told anyone anything about me.
The spider monkey did not like walking, but likes those orange jelly slices that stick in your teeth. So we returned, but I could not stay long, as a parade had started of viewers of my coffee table with too many women asking about my wood, and if I would build something for them too as money was not an object.
I will not be a party to such inflationary things in I firmly believe that 175,000 dollars is quite enough for a piece of furniture, with of course caveats in no resales as strawman walking things across the border.
I firmly believe like Thomas Jefferson one designs things and builds them from wood, plastic, metal or stone, and it should be accomplished with one's own hands and not the hands of craftsmen, as this is the only thing of value, like if Jesus had built a few things as the carpenters Son, the retail on that would be quite good now if one could obtain such pieces.
As for me, coffee tables are 175,000, entertainment stands are 100,000, end tables 75,000 per table, a chest would be 250, 000, an entry boot seat would be 175,000 and that is enough or I will be building plant stands book shelves.
Sometimes I think I should just sign my name to some 2 x 4 coasters and charge the same price for the set, as people tend to get so Tiffany about my larger pieces in comparing my wood with their wood and always not measuring up.
Even at those dimensions I'm far too busy in designing things for posterity in rich traditions of Lame Cherry creations handed down to heirs lusting after the pieces their parents and grandparents are investing in against this Obama Super Depression.
I simply build things to create and to escape from the masses, as this blog is written for my own personal relaxation, but for some reason everything I touch is Midas and soon everyone wants something of the Internet Legend, the Engima, Lame Cherry.
I really had thought that associating with the olde money, that I would not run into the finest of the blogging elite in recovery, but there was old shalom, the military dude and if I checked Deep Tutu would be the next personal friend I would be bumping into as the spider monkey was asking for more orange jellies.
It is the ultimate burden being me, in everyone wants to be popular like me or just touch something I have made. It would be far easier to just rub the computer screen and pretend you wrote these words.........it is what Rush Limbaugh does after all.
A new request for what????? To ship a milk stool. How do these people contact me, and do not these people know milk stools have angles and this costs extra and do not they know that Janet Napolitano reads all of my emails and blogs and my work might end up confiscated with Muchelle Obama sitting on it, as I make heavy duty structures of extreme weight, as she clips her master Barack's toenails.
I wonder if I could put a covenant on the work if stolen can not be used for toenail clipping under penalty of 1 million dollar restitution.
How hard is it to find some Japanese wood?
agtG