As another Lame Cherry exclusive in matter anti matter.
Hollywood fans are enthralled over 80 year old Harrison Ford reprising his role of Indian Jones, in a new Indiana Jones movie. The new spectacular seeks to meld all of the past triumphs in a sort of melding of all the past series, with the working title, Old Dudes in Hats Lost in Doom or Senile Geezers Raiding the Toilet Kingdom.
The story starts with Indie, who is buying Depends, Polident and Prune Juice, where the adventure begins in he swigs the prune juice, pops the Polident for the teeth and the drops a deuce in the Depends.
Two hours of this is pure cinematic cinema.
The supporting cast is a wheel chair, a chiropractic bed, a cane and funeral director. I don't quite get the scenes of Indie trying on different caskets and coffins, but it lasts allot longer as he falls asleep and the evil Nazis miss him, and this time conquer the world and it actually works better than the last one in defeating them.
This sounds really boring, but you have to remember all of Harrison Fords fans are either dead or were children in 1978 and are now 52 years old, have lost their sex drive, and are waiting to die. So the subjects of prune juice, denture cleaners and diapers are what the fans are interested in. Nothing action adventure as they might have a heart attack, pull a muscle or break a bone. No need for hot chics, not that there were ever any attractive women around Harrison Ford, as he seemed to only star with unattractive women he could bone, sort of like Clint Eastwood, except for that hot Asian chic in Dirty Harry.
I have given erections to old men, which drains all their blood, they pass out,
die and it only makes money for the people in their wills.
See Sunny, no Sunny in Indiana Jones and Hemorrhoid Temple of Suppositories.
I always thought Star Wars, Indiana Jones, and honestly anything Harrison Ford has ever been in sucked. He is like the Tom Skerrit of the brain dead masses of movie stars. He was like the actor in the universe who just had to fill the void, you know like the garbage dump of stars.
I really would like to help Harrison Ford, the way I helped save Hollywood and place Joaquin Phoenix as the greatest star ever, but I just don't care for this over exploited non talented walking rug. Seriously, you could hang your Grandmothers dirty, moth infested rug and get the same performance Ford gives in every damn scene.
Ok this is the insider track on the Indiana Jones and the Last Hoorah.
Nuff Said.
agtG