As another Lame Cherry exclusive in matter anti matter.
I have always been someone who believed in miracles. God has performed them for me a number of time and I have shared them here. For all the good God does for me, the fact is I am in denial and allow myself to be delusional as I would conclude most people lie to themselves in order to get through the day which they call life, but it is just one step before the other so they do not give up.
I just read St. Paul by the Holy Ghost the other day and the Word he was given was to fight the good fight of Faith to reach eternal life. That is after all what this is all about. I consider time and again that what the Wisdom of God has shown is the people closest to us are the worst weapons of satan against us, and that trust is betrayed time and again and we are beat up for all of that and ground down to suffer through it, longsuffering as there is no way out.
I thin of the Crystal Gayle song in waiting for the times to get better. I've got to tell you I've been racking my brain, looking to find a way out. There honestly is no Christian way out of this life.. There is only Christ through it. You can not commit suicide or else most people would end this. Death is the easy part, but living is the hard part, but getting to death is that impossible task which is so forbidding that unless it catches you like my stupid sister with a railroad tye to the skull or it wears the life out of you, so you just lay there and have no more energy to continue and just fade away, there is not a step to death that is a walk in the park.
Jesus did give up the ghost, but to get there He got the hell beat out of Him and then was tortured to death. There is a glue in humans of that soul to the body which does not unstick easy. It is meant that way so we have to be stuck here to grow in Spirit or in darkness.
Having the Spirit of God is an awareness which most people do not have. I feel things that people should not feel. I know things which ignorance is nothing but bliss for. The problem is I am aware of too much and do not have enough Spirit to rectify anything. It is all the same, the same feeling all the torment and just having to hope the Holy Ghost intercedes so I do not feel.
I see things now, too much. I see addictions. I see fools laying claim to their lusts to justify them as something in them speaks they are destructive, but they will not stop. People who worship their dying bodies in trying to preserve them. Addicted to their own chemicals in their bodies. Inflicting pain in exercise to get that morphine fix. Driven, driven, driven, a madness and all that addictions and those be damned who get in the way as this is an animal not of reason, but of fear.
I ponder the Scriptures for many people in things like drunkards and whoremongers will not be in Heaven. Addicts are addicts. Whoring your own body is the same adultery against God. This meat grinder will not stop and it will chew up all those around in their self righteous drives.
I see the judgments and hear them. This person is so evil and yet the speaker is engaged in thee exact same torment and hurt of another. I see the requiem for the stage of there are those who are weapons of satan. They attach themselves to others of their kind, and bring those demons to the Christian who is unaware until they are ripped to shreds, being blamed for all the world's evils and even when the Truths of the reality appear, there are no apologies and no remorse.
I see people who have dragged their others away from their families, made them spend money they should not at their old age. I see adultery to get what they desire in breaking up marriages as they claim betrayal. I see flits that sow their satan charms onto the willing listeners and in the end have added to the destruction while spreading their legs for another narcotic of semen for that moment in time.
And what is the aftermath, the Christian is the one ripped to shreds, oozing Spiritual blood. With the only remedy being God will dress the wounds and somewhere in the end will be a crown of Life. People overlook that Lazarus eating crumbs was alone with the dogs and alone at the end. He was dragged out in a corpse in no one cared for that body in life or death. It was just so much more refuse.
I have often pondered the picture of suffering people. Yes thousand shall fall by our side and no harm will come to us, but as Jesus said the tower which fell on people did not fall on them, because they were worse sinners than others. Sometimes and it is most times the tower does fall on all of us and no one is there but God that cares about any of it.
All of us like to think we are not destined for the above picture, but somebody has to make up the billions who suffer and the billions who are dead. King David in adultery buried his first kid with Bathsheba, because there could not be a doubt the heir was his. His life was riches and strength, but it all broke down to some of the nastiest shit a human should have to face. His best friend was murdered in Jonathan a complete innocent, as David had to be king. Joab got blamed for the state killings, but they had to be done in "righteous men" so they did not end up assassinating David. It all sounds on the surface like a great life and then the bills keep coming due and none of it is ever as wonderful as we had hoped.
Yes a powerful man, and reduced to needing a hot young girl to keep him warm as his heart is failing and it does not any good. Then David dies, and the gem in all of this is the reality that one contender of the throne is trying to get the girl to sex so he can be king of Solomon, who ends up killing the contender and there is the pretty girl who was in bed with the king, no sex, no men, just shut away as the king is dead and no one gets to fulfill their life as their life never mattered in it was expendable from the day the Shunamite woman was born.
Why people like me from the comfort of the Heavenly nursery thinks piling on a shit life is the way to go is something I consider and ponder. I would have hoped God would have intervened and said, "This is more than a person would want, so maybe back off as this is enough torment". Does not happen or if it does, it makes one wonder how stupid someone can be in being gung ho and choosing a shit existence.
Yes in God is better than being the addict or the whore, but when you are at the point of not wanting or being able to take anymore, none of this seems worth it as there is no figuring a way out, in Jesus is Thee only Way through.
Realities. My reality is, I move toward the place where I will no longer remember this existence and it will be wiped. Does not sound like a happy ending, but it is the end of how this mountain which keeps getting worse is.It is something no one mentions and perhaps this is God's doing, but the reality is the things that bothered us as kids, do not affect us now, as we are no longer feeling that disappointment as we are used to disappointment. satan hits us with more devastating and bigger things as that is the only thing which will affect us. That is Spiritual growth. I'm not fond of it even if it is God's Glory as it is not something I'm really interested in, in the trouble satan has plunged me into.
All of this exercise is more Job. It makes no sense only to God and no one can ever understand the Mind of the Lord. It is just for most of us getting through the hate brought against us for the day and the next days, more lies and betrayal by selfish people and just never being certain the abuse will not detonate against us by the weapons of satan, as we learn to expect it and it is a constant.
I know the thoughts of others by the Holy Ghost as they scream at me. Their subterfuge is something they think they can hide and I am not aware of, but I am. I am aware of their murderous intent, their prayers for my death, how they are terrified in what they have done that they will be judged for my death and yes, they better get their share of the pound of flesh from me as they deserve it, because they need to feign they care, because my being scraped to the bone for their addictions is acceptable as they figured out that in their game that the sword cuts both ways in God might have it so that I get the things that they lust for.
It is why in my defensive mechanism that I ignore it and trust in the Lord to deal with it all, as there is nothing that can be done with this madness generated from satan.
It would seem it takes an eternal rest to deal with the Spiritual expanding torment of the few years we all suffer through on this earth.
All Glory to the Father and may Jesus come back quickly Amen and Amen
Nuff Said
agtG