Several years ago when a minion of satan betrayed me, I took refuge in Texas chili, in the recipe which Lyndon Johnson heaped upon people with ulcers in the White House.There is something wonderful about real chili, piled into a bowl, crowned with a pile of sweet white onions and topped off with even more cheddar cheese, and lovely crackers poked at all as you nibble your way to satisfaction.
It was in one of those times of bliss that I had seated at a next table two women. I will describe them as you know who I'm speaking of.
They are the kind of women whose hair needs washing as it is in a perpetual grease vat in these strings of hair. They wear these warm up suit things that are around size 10 when they are size 20. They have this sheen of persperation on them even when it is below freezing outside.
Now chili can take a great deal of that way, as crunchy crackers, gooey cheese, crisp onions and hot peppers are a wonderful distraction. Then, though these two beefy women ordered a plate of onion rings as they spoke about the nothingness of how Oprah wonderful they were.
The plate arrived with what I thought was enough rings to make someone sick in eating that many at one sitting as onion rings are like plain beans in they wear on you fast.
So I ate my chili in pleasant satisfaction trying to ignore the stage show.
The punchline though came when the waitress brought the bill and the largest beefette started snarling about the portions were not as large as usual.
That stunned me as here was a woman who had so much Crisco oil in her they could have used her head as an oil sponge for a grill as it was dripping out, and oil wells were being depleted to make enough nylon cloth to cover her body..........and she was growling about not enough heaping pile of grease on her grease.
Now mind you this was before the age of Obama, when she could go home to her Obama vibrator and have him make things all right with his stimulus, so she took it out on the waitress who would have sprained a wrist if she had to carry a bigger plate of onion rings.
As I sat there stunned still eating (remember I had a big bowl of chili and still was eating and this gal had eaten a plate of onion rings before my cheese had melted.), I had my meal ruined as this woman got up and stuck her large rear end into my path...............and I cringe to this day as all people do who see such things.
There before me was nylon material straining and entering places that gynocologists do not want to see, and it was all within inches of my bowl of chili. That moment froze in time like a nightmare in finding out you accidentally marked Obama instead of anyone else on the ballot.
Those rather overwashed, over worn, over dirty and over too much over to cover are still making me frown as this is typed as the memory still turns good chili bad.
THAT is what I relived in seeing the released photos of Muchelle Obama, the too MUCH of elle, in her expansive filling of the British Isles.
I actually did a little photo shop work to see if they airbrushed Muchelle's hips in her black dress, but no, it is the same Muchelle. She just looks smaller when those massive man arms are dwarfing those massive cotton picking hips she is packing around.
The worst of it was the garden photo in profile where one gets the full onion ring view. I have seen 8 year old goats with less spread after having triplets 6 times over look more slim than Muchelle. (Mind you not that I'm not into goats, but in this age of Obama, I know some of his voters are, many of his Middle Eastern illegal donors are and I do hear there are goats in Africa, Indonesia and Hawaii not just for milking......so for those goat attracted Obama voters it is good to make the reference, so they understand how bad Muchelle Obama looks.)
That woman is packing around a whole lot of Oprah cookies and I swear that in a fight, my money is on Michelle as she gets them legs locked around Birdie he would snap like a twig.
I have seen NFL lineman not packing as much as Michelle has hid ..........or regrettably not hid under that dress.
Man, Barack Obama, must have gulped when he saw how attractive Lawrence Sinclair was compared to the cold continental spread he had waiting at home for him. I guess Obama married the man, because he is the girl in this one.
There aren't any excuses for this in women as there are mirrors and enough men around frowning, squinting from going blind and turning away trying not to vomit as signs.
Sure I know a husband can't tell his wife she looks like hell, but wives can't tell their husbands that too. There have to be things worked out though when you are millionaire Obamas and are spending the public money to not look like you just came out of a Kenyan corn patch.
Obama has the royal babysitter and the royal food taster, why not the 6 figure salaries royal clothes looser.
It works this way in someone with fashion sense, that would not be Perez Hilton or David Letterman gets hired by Axelrod Inc. Muchelle goes shopping and buys this horrid stuff, to which the royal clothes looser, sorts through it all and accidentally has Bo wet on it, a moth infestation eats it or it gets lost in the luggage.
This all protects the world from going blind and Muchelle from looking like Whopperelle. This woman looks like all her colors are vomited up from 1950. Her accents are those ludicrous weird colors when black people get this African urge to be like Africans who never had access to all these wild dyes and colors to ever dress like a rainbow on LSD.
Earth to black people caught in the African Oprah Syndrome. You look horrid dressed like vomit, so please stop doing it. Just because most white people are stunned to silence does not mean it is acceptable. It just hard to talk when trying not to create more vomit.
Birdie is obviously not man enough to inform the wife that she looks like hell in public. Apparently if people go agains Muchelle like Gerald Walpin they get fired, so the only alternative is to hire someone to throw all of Muchelle's clothes into Whoopie Goldberg grab bag for Whoopie to wear..........and that goes too for that greased back hair.
Muchelle, dear, when you have horse teeth jawlines, you do not pull your hair back and make it stick out more. Your pin sized head only makes your big hips look cacaphonous, so try some big hair, and poofy sleeves to hide those man arms and hide behind flower pots and things to hide those hips.
There are just not that many fetish guys who like girls built like men. Will Smith married Jada, so get the point Muchelle and try being a woman, instead of trying to out man gay men like Donald Young and Lawrence Sinclair.
There are things called girdles and push up braiserres Muchelle. Ask your mother about them a she knows how to present herself wonderfully without trying to be a completely white woman in Jackie Kennedy.
Your mirror on the wall is lying to you.
nuff said.
Except, I need something to settle my stomach.
nuff said.
One more thing, are Obama's high poll numbers also related to people feeling sorry for him in the fashion diaster Muchelle portrays daily.
nuff said.
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