This is not what you had in mind

As it has not worn off, I am moved to write something as Corey Haim is dead.

I have been upset by this as I destest wasted lives, especiall when they have Kennedy opportunitites and all you end up with is sex perverts, dopes, drunks and scum of the earth.

There are millions of people in these United State who have never gotten a break, a chance or a single opportunity in their entire lives. I think of Corey Haim in his dope culture, in snorting up a fortune in coke, that in the Lost Boys interviews and other Haim breaks in show business that there were thousands of faces in those casting calls, who never did get a call back. Even more could not even get an agent, because that is the way the Hollywood scheme works in keeping everyone on the outside looking in.
People who will never make it on screen and are doing other pissy jobs, punishing themselves over what they see as failure is what Corey Haim tasted when he pissed his life away and no one wanted to deal with someone more intent on dope than living.

Haim made being an addict even part of his show business career in starring in one of those worthless real television things that only the American Idol crowd watches as they are the peepers of the neighborhoods of broadcast communities just seeing what they can see.

Haim killed himself by accident on prescription meds, the same way Michael Jackson did, but them all of his perversions mean nothing now as he has been transformed to Obama of the CD.

Others like Marie Osmond's kid took a header off a balcony while Walter Koenig's son who made us laugh faded away in a Canadian park. I have a great deal of sympathy for people who murder themselves, because they are under demon influence by then and out of their minds. It is the venue of God to deal with that as I will not judge, but it bothers me greatly in people who have a life where they actually are living not on the streets, have adoring fans or have parents who care, think that that is something not worth giving another day to try to get better.
All sorts of different triggers trigger people to death, and what does not bother one, bothers another. That is the way life is, but none of them think of the hell they put others through in dying or the impact they make on people they once made smile.

I remember Air Wolf's Jan Michael Vincent, as one of a Sonny Steelegrave cadre of stars who made it huge, and just became lost in the 80's in coke haze. Vincent the last I saw him was broke and being taken care of by some woman who loved what he once was.
He started his salad days with Rock Hudson and John Wayne down in Mexico on a movie. Those boys could drink and party and young Jan couldn't handle it and it eventually ate him up.

Others like Gary Busey who got chewed up, seemed to have come out on the other side for the good.

Others like Charlie Sheen can't stop being their own worst enemy.

I often wonder if the best thing would be for these lost boys and girls to just get on some island where they couldn't get the things which destroy them, but the demons follow and either one beats them in Christ or one goes off into the oblivion making numbers of people feel empty.

Corey Haim's Mom is battling cancer and she certainly didn't need that gift from her son to deal with. Everyone makes differences for good or evil in countless lives. It is a brass ring where there is so much money for those who tap into it that being a Malisia Petropoulos can pretty your way to a lifetime of funds just in showing up.

Haim's last appearance with Corey Feldman at the Playboy Mansion. I guess fittingly a Bay Watch Babe in Nichole Eggert was dusted off for a tabloid program with Maria Menounos, both sat with their skirts jacked up looking smiling forlorn about Haim.....but that is all I got as I keep the sound down, as it doesn't matter what the talking smiles say, because if it did Mary Hart wouldn't make her living in beaver shots.

I like most people have addictions and lusts that I had to overcome. Fortunately for me I found healthy ways for my obsessions, lusts and addictions in I became obsessed with God, lust after garden vegetables and am addicted to a number of things from cooking to talking. That is what Corey Haim didn't care to figure out in you can lie to yourself that drinking Darjeeling tea is a treat and having that tea with someone once a week is a high to look forward to.

A number of years ago I was given a gift of being able to summon the Holy Ghost. It was wonderful in the flood of ecstasy which would engulf me with. The problem was though I could never get to sleep afterwards as it was too much of a high. It all worked out in being stopped much to my chagrin and loss, but I know Who is waiting on the other side for me and that is what I look to as I long for a high that is no more.
God has provided me with an adult relationship and I honestly believe I am treated rather poorly by God, but that is God and He knows best, so like in British military school, I serve in duty, still wondering why others have a better time of it, but as this is the only time I am afforded, I have to make due in the best way I can to glorify God.

None of this is about each of us, but is about God. If people would become addicted to God as Kurt Cameron is, things turn out a great deal more pleasurable in the long run as the world is an evil place, people get hurt in this world, and it is a wicked world we live in.

I hope God has a little more mercy on people in judgment than they deserve, and, I suppose He does as if I can care about the lost boy in death, He certainly can figure things out better than me.


agtG

Knock, knock, knock, who's that? It's Momma, son
Lookin' for the bitch who took the money and run
Now the daylight's gone and there's no more fun
And who's the f*ckin' bitch who stole all the heroin?
Heroin, heroin, it's all gone
Smoked it all up, and now you got none
And now you look around and that's not the plan
This is not what you had in mind

I shot in heaven, now I cry
No one lives forever, in fact we all die
From those who bust shots to those who stuff cops
To those who serve rocks on all the hard blocks
Every last soul must pay the last toll
In the dice game of life, who gets the last roll?
Is it the one with the suit? The one with the sack?
The one who hides behind his f*ckin' gun and his badge?
Negative outlook? Well that's how I'm livin'
And like he said, it's a wicked world we live in
It's a wicked world we live in