Friends, lesbians, countrymen, lend me your ear. (If it was sodomites I guess it would be lend me your rear....but I digress in this Mark Levin era of no lesbian jokes, but throwing Terry Lakin in prison without comment.)
Friends, I come before you today to offset Muchelle Obama's attack on fat children of all ages in asking you to feed a fat child.
Yes I know that children in Africa are starving, but that is about Obama Marxism starving people and there is no reason American children should not be fat and porking out on things the food police say is not good for them.
I place before you fat people.
Meatloaf........fat and successful.
Mark Levin fat.
Rush Limbaugh as more successful fat and a smoker.
Ed Schultz........fat.
Rosie O'Donnell fat.
Roseanne fat.
Mexicans fat and living high in America!
America is overflowing with fat successful people more than those skinny ravenous unsuccessful people never satisfied.
Karl Rove........puffy lips and fat.
Muchelle Obama. Fat ass to enormity and fat success just had scholarships and board appointments just larded on her. Thee epitome of fat success.
Oprah Winfrey, fat as a lard sow. Imagine if she had just packed on a few more hundred pound and told the skinny folks to pound sand and never wasted time dieting and just went on the fat city express. Oprah would be owning the world now in being successfully fat.
So in the public interest to battle skinny. All should freeze some butter, dip it in sugar for butter sugs, cover them with real whip cream and tell the kids, "Eat up, as kids are starving in Africa as commies, but you fatten up on the American hard working prosperity!"
Tell them to take a nap the rest of the day, and just forget about everything as McDonalds has a Big Mac and Pizza Hut has a pan pizza with their names on it.
Do not discriminate in leaving the adults out either as successful fatness is just a hundred pounds away.
Buy the wife a tub of creamy chocolate ice cream, cover it with chocolate chips, chocolate spinkles, shaved white chocolate, some Hershey's syrup and some good old hot fudge icing.
Tell her, "Don't worry about that birth control fat butt you got baby as no one wants you and I'm stuck with your ass, so eat up baby!"
Buy the husband some greasy old fried chicken, a 12 pack of beer, a bucket of fries, some chips for snacks and a case of Little Debbie's Snack Cakes and say, "You lazy fat man, I love you, and no one is going to run off with you as they can't see your dick for your gut hanging down, so eat up, you heart attack waiting to happen, as we got life insurance and me and the fat kids will enjoy the good life your loving provision will give us".
See now how life would be so much better in everyone chowing down instead of gnawing on lettuce and starving angry.
The most successful people are fat people..........Whoopie Goldberg and she is ugly as a post to boot.
So be happy being fat and ugly.........and be happy on the lard, butter, grease and fat getting there.
This has been a Lame Cherry public service announcement as we care.
agtG
