I have been contemplating for several years a battle spear. One just does not buy such a thing, but creates one as it is a part of one's Spirit in them.One examines antiquity in English Battle Axes, Roman swords and various aboriginals, before one starts drawing the thing which is to become life.
I had originally rejected the Nandi Spear, as it is just.......well a 3 foot long blade, small handle of wood and a few feet of pointed metal rod as the base, because it just did not seem warlike enough.
I have though returned to the Nandi Spear, because I feel in my Spirit this is the adventure which I need.
I hereby invite Mark Levin, Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Ed Schultz, Rachel Maddow and Chris Matthews on a lion hunt.........so I have fun, I will include Michelle Malkin and Laura Ingraham as my right and my left.
There are rules in this, as the Nandi are brave lion hunting people of yore. All must build or have built for them a Nandi Spear and Buffalo Bull Hide Shield, with appropriate decorations on said Shield so as not to offend Ladies and or Gentlemen.
I will build mine I have decided from stainless steel, as it will whet the gleam of the sun well in the hot tropical sun. It will be one piece as I dislike those "hoe and rivet" things as they always come loose as wood looses moisture in time.
Instead, I will rivet a fine piece.............I do not know yet if I will choose black walnut from a tree my beloved Uncle was with me when I harvest the nuts years ago from my Grandfather's farm or if I would choose African Ebony........it is difficult to decide in this as both have yearnings...........
Oh yes, I will do both in ebony on the right side to the African world and to my familiar intimate side I will mount the black walnut.
It will make a great conversation piece around the campfire.
Africa is filled with non Obama types, and it is sad that Americans think blacks are all Oprahlike when the Zulu, Dinka and Masai.......and my Nandi are quite handsome people and who never were slaves as they had spears and killed Arabs who tried to put them in chains.
So in this the Nandi would be employed, 60 of them, 50 with me and the girls, and 10 in the rear with orders if any coward of the bench flees or refuses to press forward in attacking the lion, that they will accidentally be speared as the rear guard throws their spear at the lion.
I will wear Irish Setter boots, US military socks to my knees, my Levi 501 multiple button cutoffs with fringe and I choose a cotton muscle shirt. On my belt I will have my knife I built several years ago for comfort, and my boonie hat with the side flap up pinned by a US Flag.
I really want a wild lion, black mane, in prime murderous zeal........so I presume we will have to all shoot some zebra for a bait, and one fantasizes about Michelle Malkin on zebra skin bedspreads and things looking all Amazon with a gleam in her eye.
So we put these baits out after dragging them about some idiot game preserve which is not how animals like to live and invite some lion out to eat, about a mile from his prison.
We then stalk this mile in the heat, and surround the lions........of course there will be lionesses and cubs, but this will only add to the drama of getting killed, as the rules are only the male will be harvested in bloody hand to claw combat, and the wife and kids will be allowed to escape back to prison.
I suspect some of us might get mauled in this and rescues might have to be made as females can be quite brave and cubs quite stupid, but in the event the Nandi decide some other lions will die, I will defer to this.
The lines will most likely be broken in this, and pockets of death taking place, as hopefully I will still advance with Miki and Laurs on the male. The Nandi of course head man gets the first thrust by honor, but once that takes place, all then runs forward as the big cat attacks the head man behind his shield and being slammed to the ground.
Some throw spears and the lion spins and attacks, others which I hope to be of, rushes in and thrust their spear into the lion.
Oh the excitement of it, in perhaps the lion surging with fury and adrenalin would turn on me, and spring, towering over my shield, jaws snapping at my head, and those magnificent claws sunk behind my shoulder blades trying to rip my shoulders off.
It would all be slow motion, and one would hear the Nandi yells, sense them running up and driving their spears inside the lion to save a hunter warrior like myself.
One caveat, no benchers are going to be allowed to throw any spears as I'm not going to take one up the arse from Ed Schultz crapping his pants as he tosses a shaking spear at a lion and clips me.
The great beast growling and dying and hopefully my not getting dead, but oh if I did, what a great honor that would be what eh? It would be quick as a lion crushed my skull........extreme pressure, eyes bulging and then lights out............my Spirit hovering over the scene.........but what a scene of a dead lion and dead me.
The Nandi yelling, and finally lifting us both up to be carried back to camp to chants.............the lion skinned out...........and would it not be just heaven to be honored by them to wrapping me in the hide and burying me there six foot under in a lion robe, fresh from the kill.......honeybirds croaking the trees, hyenas laughing in the distance...........and the hunt remembered by the living and played over and over again.
If not dead, I would have real lion wounds.......using burning antiseptic like the old days so I did not get septic, plenty of medicinal cognac and we would have roast eland stakes for all, as we laughed and listened to the stories over and over as 70 hunters relived their part in this most magnificent adventure.
I have of course a Crusader broadsword and a Pakistani tiger head sword, but I feel this Nandi spear is what must be, and think of all this would do to assist the benchers in living real life instead of hiding behind keyboards and mics.
Perhaps I might stalk a black bear first to try this all out.......most dangerous business that, but to sit about the Nandi fire and tell them of the black bear which mauls would fill them with fascination and wonder about the memsaab crew sharing their life.
No golf, not twizzlers, no walleyes and no rabbits in bed.........no this is what is life. No debates, just people becoming alive for the first times in their lives. That coppery metallic taste in the mouth of fear, hands wet, heart racing.........and not because one is close to Michelle Malkin a leather skirt........no this is a simba hunt, lord of the jungle, king of beasts.
I know there is a black maned lion in Africa just thinking now, this life is nothing being in the prison..oh to have some humans come hunt me so I could die with honor as I try killing them.
Yes the Nandi spear.........this is destiny which beats within my heart.
Just thought, Michelle and Laura, dressing my wounds and looking all concerned at my stupid bravery.........definitely worth it all as the boys would all only look on from outside as none of them had earned the right of a woman's touch by having simba claw the marks of courage into their hide.
This is just lovely.
agtG
