Mr. Shrute as you enjoy stalking this popular girl, would you please if given this opportunity to explain yourself here, find an interview with Ulsterman?
The Irish males are an interesting phenomena in their blood is 4.5% more alcohol than the the average Cambodian. It is for this reason the Irish never freeze in their bitter cold Irish winters.
Ireland has cold winters?
Very cold, in fact if Ireland was as far north as the North Pole it would be that cold.
What else Mr. Shrute?
The problem with the Republican party is the males are all as fag as Obama. That was the appeal of Sarah Palin in she was more manly that all the men in the race in 2008 and why women disliked her so much in they were afraid their gay boyfriends were going to try and run off with Sarah Palin.
Why did Obama and Karl Rove dislike Mrs. Palin?
Penis envy. It is a known fact that the Chinese and African male in majority have a smaller penis size than the average right wing woman. It has to do with the high moose diet. That is why I hunt moose and shoot one every year in Maine. It is Thanksgiving moose with beets grown on my farm for Thanksgivng and for Christmas it is beets and moose and for Easter it is moose and moose.
The Shrute males are very manly.
Is that why Teddy Roosevelt created the Bull Moose party from the GOP?
Exactly. President Roosevelt dined often on many meats of wild and domestic origins. When he looked around for the manliest meat for his political party it was a natural in moose meat. A moose is by far the largest of the deer family with the large antlers. It just would not have been the same if he has the Bull Deer party, as that would have sounded like something John Boehner would be in charge of an alternative lifestyle.
Speaking of John Boehner..........
Yes John Boehner is a sissy. I think all sissies should be tied to a post and horse whipped. Horse whipping is good for horses and it make horses out of them. With John Boehner he needs to have the horse come out of him so he stops crying all the time.
You never saw a horse cry. Horses are manly. Sarah Palin never cries. Moose never cry. John Boehner if he would be whipped or eat meat would be a man who could lead the Republican party.
Do you think liberal society would appreciate horse whipping?
I have thought of that and in the beginning, I would just implant a third testicle into Republican males. Hog, chicken and beef operations have numerous testicles going to waste at slaughter plants, and by providing them an testicle implant, these males would then not be so sissy, as the Shrute males are superior in never crying.
What are your thoughts on Obamacare?
I'm all for it. America needs to have all these sissies weeded out and sissies in the GOP especially. Real men would suck it up like all Shrute men do and the rest just die. The Shrute males are of German stock and came to America with only their bare hands.
They cut the first trees down in Pennsylvania with their teeth and hooked their women up to ploughs to clear the fields.
Obamacare would be a good thing for America in killing off the sissies in both parties as the surviving males would then have their choice of the best breeding females on a 4 to 1 ratio.
Not that I would be into that Mormon thing, but some women who are not like Sarah Palin could do other wholesome things like cooking, cleaning or when suffering from PMS be in the military.
You want women in combat?
Yes most certainly. Women in most cases are proven the best killers on the planet. Those women should be unleashed with nuclear weapons to destroy the Marxists around the globe. It is just sissy to talk to women about babies, soccer and daycare things. Psychological tests prove the most sadistic murderers are all women. Women should be praised for this and nothing would salute them more effectively than to hand over an ICBM on a PMS day. You watch them Eurasians scatter with that.
Has being assistant to the regional manager has prepared you for heading up the GOP?
That TO THE needs to be removed as, yes being assistant regional manager has prepared me to lead not only America, but the world. Further it makes me eligible as a bachelor in being the best of breeding stock.
I would on my first day in office shoot everyone in prison, put every welfare recipient on a chain gang, put all the retired people to work and put all the Mexicans back into Mexico. One day and I balanced the entire budget of America with everyone fed, productive and where they should be.
What about the conflicts in the Middle East?
First I would put America on oil welfare. By this I mean, the oil nations over there have enough money and they should give Americans all that oil as it is just sitting in the ground doing nothing but making more oil. Muslims need to feel good about themselves and doing good things like that would make them feel good and stop being terrorists.
A few years and America would have all the oil from it's own wells and Muslims would be domesticated and everyone would be happy.
What about Jews?
The Jews have nuclear weapons and should use them, sort of like Obamacare radiology. The fit Muslims would survive and it would be a happy balance.
The Chinese communists are becoming more active in the world and aggressive toward America. What would you do with them?
China needs to be liberated from Peking. I say give China to that Kim Jong Un, as he has a very pretty wife and has dancing girl soldiers which are very pretty too. Peking is the problem so give China to Kim and they will behave.
and Russia?
Russia is nothing that a million gallons of vodka would not cure. Russians have a big hangover and just need to be kept drunk to pacify them. Vladamir Putin would be much nicer if he had a case of Viagra and the western press complimenting him on the pretty women he was having carnal relations with.
Speaking of debauchery, what would you do to solve America's "sin" problem which costs billions a year?
Horse whips would be my answer and those who enjoyed being whipped, I would hang. Dead people cost no money really. A corpse by CIA estimates will yield several gallons of oil. I'm all for rendering fat people who are chronic immoral types into good things as human fat is a very high grade oil.
It could be used to lubricate things like at the space station.
You have used human oil?
Yes, it is waste not want not in the Shrute household. Real Yankee thriftiness. No Shrute has ever gone to waste.
Is there anything else you would like to address as the leading contender of the Republican party?
If it is illegal, shoot it. If it is immoral, kill it. It is the lack of discipline and enabling bad behavior which ruins all empires. The enemy invades and begins by shooting and killing all the criminal liberals and immorals liberals, so the reality is, why wait for an invasion and all those problems, and just shoot and kill the problems and do some good in the process.
Thank you Mr. Shrute
You do have Ulsterman's address don't you ?
agtG
