Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Feeling Bad



There is never any reason for feeling bad for bringing things up here or asking questions, as we are all family here and that is what a family does is ask questions and bring things up which are on their mind. How else can anyone ever learn anything or be comfortable unless they are sharing things.

When I met TL, there was someone I was trying to befriend who decided to "research me" and got it all wrong and started to attempt to take a pound of flesh by bringing up another person's children, who they thought were mine.
It always struck me in that persons was married and they would say things like, "Well I know how to bring things up to my spouse so as to breach the subject".

I was stunned by that, as if TL wants to ask me something TL asks me something and I am the same way. I hate nuance and intrigue. How can any family ever be themselves if someone is plotting some way to manipulate someone else to gain an answer.

I never harbor ill feelings to people who even misbehave as it serves nothing. Every person alive has made mistakes and made a fool of themselves. I have done this to professional status, and in most cases I get to do it here on a big stage and everyone gets a front row seat at things.

I have never been a person who looks at what people have, or if they have manicured lawns. I remember my Gram who was a woman that talked too much without thinking, that it never mattered to me if she had papers piled on her couch and I had to sit at an angle as that is not who those people were. She often tried to gag me to death with birthday cakes piled high with icing that I just could not eat as a child as it made me sick.
She was trying to be kind and I would never tell her the things she did which were bad, not out of fear, but in looking out for her in not wanting to hurt her feelings.

I look at people in how they treat me and that is all that matters to me. I am an open book here as in most cases in life. Today I was attempting to get Mom to get things done and I soon realized a grocery store gal could hear me and knew I was being bossy in my frustration. The gal mentioned it and of course I knew what she was saying......yes my time to regret in not handling things as they should.
Yes my being perfect does have some flaws as amazing and impossible as that seems.

Everyone makes mistakes and most times, they are not mistakes, as the person was not offended by what was said or done. I have learned I can scare the bajesus out of rich people and be humiliated in begging and in time it just wears off as it is like General Grant said in tackling General Lee, move by the left flank in always moving ahead.

All of us have been humiliated and some carry the burden of humiliating others. While this blog is witness, it is also a place where the only thing expected is people to be themselves as that is why God created you to be you.

I was telling Mom and TL tonight a revelation in  I finally understand that if poor people actually had money, that Jesus would never get to return, as poor people would be doing the right things with money and having no strings attached.
Rich people do all the wrong things with money, does not matter if it was Egypt or America, you can count on rich people doing the wrong things with money and angering God. Poor people may not manage money properly, but poor people's hearts are always in the right place in knowing how to give money without expecting anything.

Just be yourself and that is enough. Ask questions and if people are offended, then you will not know to ask them again as they are hiding things and probably people you should not be around.If they mock you for asking, then they are weak people and again not someone to have around.

The nice thing though about feeling bad is knowing that everyone else is on the same level field.

Look at least you did not have a bad tattoo day.........not much recovering from that now is there.


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