Saturday, March 29, 2014
The Great Obamadick
Everyone is familiar with the fictional novel, Moby Dick, in the great white whale of Captain Ahab, but in a non fictional account, or in a real whale, there was in the south Atlantic a great black whale, a bull, which once did battle with a whaling vessel out of New Bedford Massachusetts.
In this historical age of Designer Negroes in the now extant Birther Hussein Obama Chin, it seems only fitting that this tale be retold from the log of the Catchalot as previously introduced here.
It was a bright and sunny day out of the doldroms in which the southerly trade winds had taken the crew. The black islander Portugeuse whose eyesight was sharp were this time out seen by a Yankee farmer who spotted the "blow" of the great black whale seven miles off.
The Catchalot in pursuit at sail closed the distance, and soon put down her four boats, who upon lifting sail closed upon that Great Black whale, now called in the historical Age of Obama, Obamadick.
The Sperm Whale dove, but soon enough sounded and actually had closed on the first mate's boat, whereby after some maneuvering, they came up alongside that Great Black Whale and drove a harpoon into him.
Quickly they drove a second harpoon into that Great Black Whale, and drew off out of harms way, as the whale rolled in fury over being assailed by the newly discovered source on the surface.
Soon enough, figuring out it could not dislodge the restrictions upon him, that Great Black Whale dove for the depths.
It is a thing of whales in some of the baby bulls might fight like hell and the old large ones will just lay there and die, but not Obamadick, that Great Black Whale, for it dove and it ran and it dove and it ran.
Obamadick took off the coils of the harpooners barrel, and more rope was tied on, and each succeeding rope was passed and tied on as that Great Black Whale continued to dive and run.
A second boat was summoned, a Mistah Jones in command as fourth mate, an nicknamed Goliath and Anuk for the massive size of this legitimate black man told in the blows to his crew, who with grin as savior tied on his lengths of rope, only to grow somber as Obamadick dove and ran all the more, to the last length of rope where a board was tied on to further impede that Great Black Whale.
The whale came to terms and sounded. Mistah Jones began taking up the coils of rope which now numbered in length of 7200 feet or almost one and a half miles of rope, which would weigh equal to sixteen 30 foot boats tied to it.
The first mate gave order for Mistah Jones to cut the rope, whereby the first mate would then have chance at the prize which was first drawn blood on, as Mistah Jones boat was encumbered by immense coil of rope he now had on board.
As the first mate receieved the line, the whale, that Great Black Whale, Obamadick was off again on a surface run, and for the chance of the boat it was well, as they only had 100 fathoms or 600 feet of rope to play with, and if that Great Black Whale, Obamadick dove, there would be nothing they could do to stop him, and would either cut rope to lose the prize or be drown in the depths of the sea.
Off the small boat was carried, like a kite on the wind, with the wind being that Great Black Whale, Obamadick. It's half inch cedar boards little comfort for the crew which was now slung now like a pebble and being cracked like a rifle shot on each wave they were skimmed across.
The boat was in danger of being swamped in this flying across the sea, as one hand bailed for their life, and the other men pulled for all they were in life upon that line to try and drag the boat closer to that Great Black Whale, Obamadick, in order to save themselves.
The rest of the boats had now scattered and were in the rear as the crew inch by inch closed with straining muscles upon Obamadick.
The mate ordered with excitement as they closed to steer off that Great Black Whale, and as they positioned themselves, the harpooner threw his lance with such force that it drove into that Great Black Whale that even the shaft disappeared into Obamadick.
Screaming orders to hove off and the boat drove off just in the nick of time as the huge flukes of Obamadick smashed upon the waters not two feet from the boat and crew.
"Oars out, pull two, starn, three!!!" The first mate screamed again at his crew as that Great Black Whale, Obamadick turned now in full Sperm Whale wrath to fight.
It was no longer whale hunting, but the whale hunting the men. It was murder now in intent as the little boat showing more maneuverablity evaded the savage raw power of the huge whale not able to turn on his assailants quickly enough, and the mosquito of a boat would row in to stab another lance into that Great Black Whale in order to save themselves.
On and on the contest ensued, the boat giving that Great Black Whale when he settled a wide berth to where it was thought he would ascend. When Obamadick rushed at the tiny boat, they would dodge with oars pumping the water to steer clear, and once again this dance of death would begin in the boat trying to drive it's lances home.
In the frenzy, as the boat lay alongside Obamadick, the lone Britisher on board, withdrew his knife and hacked away at the hide of that Great Black Whale in this battle for life, only to hear his first mate screaming again orders to pull hard back, as Obamadick leapt from the ocean, all 100 tons of him, in a mass of crashing wave, sea foam, blinding spray and a deluge of a flood that almost swamped the boat.
The crew now bailed for life as the fought that Great Black Whale, Obamadick.
The boat swamped, the crew trying to ascertain if they were injured or dead, they noted then Obamadick laying off in that huge form, and now blowing a red mist into the air.
The first mate called now the men to "Starn all!!!" as the seasoned whale hunter knew the final fury was about to be unleashed.
That Great Black Whale began the final fury swimming in a circle rapidly, his mouth with teeth clashing his jaws and blowing geysers of blood from his blow hole. With great caution the boat avoided the rush and slowly Obamadick rolled to his side and subsided from the fury of life, to have the silence of small waves washing over it's side.
The boat now drove close and secured another line to that Great Black Whale.
The Catchalot was four miles leeward as the little boat bobbed with it's prize now taking rest from the great drama which she had performed upon this vast ocean stage.
As an epitaph to that Great Black Whale, the ocean was strewn with masses of white. It was said that upon death a Sperm Whale would vomit up the contents of it's stomach, but what Obamadick had eaten was of immense size in a giant squid, whose one limb was as large as man, with sucking disks on it, and claws sharp as needles, the size of a tigers.
One can only hope that Ben Afleck, Opie Howard, Rob Reiner, Tom Hanks and Steven Horse Killer Spielberg will embark upon a cinema extravaganza with Johnny Depp starring in thee epic of epics, That Great Black Whale, Obamadick, coming to theaters soon near you........
After paying me a finders fee and offering for this great script which is actual naval nautical history.
agtG