We received thankful word tonight from David, that he is recovering from heart surgery. I want to thank all who prayed for him, as there are things I can not say about his personal story in what he just experienced by the Grace of God, but it was a Christmas Carol Gift and it was an experience of God's Love, and I could not be more overjoyed not for what he was brought through, but for the appreciation of all David is in God.
It is my hope that somehow God will provide a way for David to write his story for Amazon Kindle, or perhaps be able to tell his story before Congregations if God would so move him, because it was more telling than what Charles Dickens created.
I can not reveal David's experiences, but I can reveal mine as we watched A Christmas Carol a few moments ago. This is a miracle of God's workings, as I had the George C. Scott version recorded off of CBS with all of it's flaws, and found one in the second hand shop for 50 cents a month ago.
Being alone is an event, especially on Christmas. I never had the means to make things right nor to change my life, to build it, to do good. I remember making that promise years ago at the head of canyon, at 3 AM with the coyotes howling in the distance, but it never happened.
Years later my brother would have a child, my dad had since died with all of his darkness, and Mom was away to visit her grandchild.
I pleaded with her to leave some money in case something bad happened, and Lord did it ever. My pick up battery went tits up, and as I was doing chores that morning with the tractor, a hydraulic metal pipe exploded, because dad was never repairing anything.....so on December 24th, I was chopping shit out of the loader to get at that pipe in 18 degree weather for hours.
I finally got it out about 2 PM, and had no idea what to do. I phoned up a dealer, and he sent me to a hardware store.........I asked the gal if they had the pressure piping and she did. I then asked her if someone was there to cut the threads, and she said snotty, 'Well I am here".
I could care less what gender cuts my pipes, but I just wanted someone to be there to do it, as I had no time to waste.
I got to the store, and some fucking horny old man was following the gal around, getting in the way, pissing me off, but I got the pipe.
I then went to get some new hoses cut, and the guy there was a smart ass who announced, "Well the check is already made out". Yeah the one check Mom would sign, and he had to make me feel like I was embezzling money or something.
I got to the farm supply store, and stood in line with a host of Christmas shoppers getting a battery as somehow my barely starting pick up had made it to all the stops.........and the battery broke me.
I think I arrived home around 4 PM, went to work in oil and the cold, and about an hour later, I got it together, no leaks, the old tractor by miracle started, and the hungry cows got fed.
I an still feel the cold, still see the twilight at 6 PM as I trudged across the yard, putting in the battery, and making it inside the house stiff from the cold, and having a few minutes to eat, shower, call Mom, and my nigh was to watch Alien II, a movie I like.
I was a miserable person in being abused and soul raped in what I had been through. That night as I prayed, laying in bed, I felt the Holy Ghost returning to me again like long ago. For the first time, I felt how very evil I was. I felt like a bar of soft soap and the Goodness of God impress into me.
I knew what evil was, and I was it.
I made promises again, but the world closed in upon me again by satan to destroy me, and the Holy Ghost went to the fringes again out of my reach.
Years later I would be laying in that same bed, as a demoniac from the American South had shattered this life again, but that Christmas Eve I did die, but the Holy Ghost breathed me to life again. I swore then I would not let the evil change the good in me.
I had brought this last evil upon me in praying for it. Guilt does not matter, but I was responsible, and I faced the humiliation which was required in my life was never my own, but God's and I was the possession of the Holy Ghost.
There were not pivotal moments like Scrooge in turkeys bought for the poor, as I was the poor, and I would be facing more of a dirge, and as years added to this, my purpose was to over extend myself in working myself to death.
That is where that book by Mark Twain in Joan of Arc appeared and began my association for that time with Joan. I remember praying and in that same bed, and feeling Joan. She is joyous life and for a few hours the world was joy.
I have seen the light of Archangels which foreshadowed some of the worst of times, in Mom being hurt, my body falling apart to thinking, once again alone in that bed, with my guts on fire, thinking that I was going to die, and finally just figuring that if I died I would die, and if I lived, I would wake up in the morning.
Many changes took place. I rid myself of hideous family members. I would be dead now if it were not for Joan of Arc interceding with God for me, as another humiliation in it would require another to accomplish what I needed, and then appeared TL in another series of miracles in how we came into contact.
None of this has been easy. TL and I have suffered numerous attacks. I am quite wanted as dead by certain of TL's family and they want me gone. It is a series of devastating hurts. It is what it is.
My happy ending will come on the other side with Christ. This is the place that David witnessed. It is what I sense.
It is what I warn those of here in so many ways. You have a choice in Heaven and hell. Yet you have chosen already and for that I grieve and Joy.
David made the correct donation for Life. He is growing as the greater Light for this now, for the repression of what satan unleashed upon him, again and again, did not prevail, for Christ is Victor for those who thought they were vanquished.
By only glimpsing the darkness within, does one know the darkness without and but for the Grace of God, go I. I know the darkness in all of it's forms as that is where the Lord to penetrate me, so that there would be no excuse in Judgment for those who chose the darkness, as Christ carried me through to Life.
It is observed that Christ was born upon this day. Another one formed in His image has come to life in answering that call as child of God in being His. There is another one now joining the many in this family, born from the darkness of this earthly womb, to the Light of Heaven.
People in most cases, believe they have lived their lives, only to discover one day, that the Way God intended to work through them, is only begun that day, as the Father and His child long ago decided that through the anguish of this life, would be moulded a new creation to shine God's Light into the darkness, for Light overcomes the darkness.
From my experience, God now has expectations of His adult child, because it is an honor from the Father to come to adulthood and have expectations. satan also takes notice of the Light in the world, it attempted to extinguish and now that Light is brighter than ever.
We outgrow this world while in it.
May the Christ Who carries us through, May the Spirit of the Father and His Christ Who makes us One in the Family of God, nurture, protect and guide you, from this moment forward, all for the Glory of our Father, in His Name, Amen and Amen
agtG
