As another Lame Cherry exclusive in matter anti matter.
The best advice for everyone to not end up buried alive, is to not trust anyone helping you get into a hole.
- Lame Cherry
I am going to share something with you which requires every woman and girl in this country to be drilled into their heads, over and over, so their sons and men carry out the same advice. The source of this is a real ball buster named Glynnis Yeager. I am sure you have never heard of her, any more than Pancho Barnes or Jackie Cochran, but these were the women in General Chuck Yeager's life, and if you count his Mother, Charles Yeager had the strongest feminine wills in his life, which is a testimony to how strong of male he was. Strong men keep strong women around, because they are not intimidated by them. Weak men, destroy and abuse all women, because they do not have the will to deal with people contrary to their thoughts.
Over the years in the military, I saw a heck of a lot of wrecked marriages. I've seen wives dropped by the wayside; I've known some who had affairs of their own, either because they were lonely or wanted to get even. I've also known of three suicides among abandoned wives who had no place to go and no prospects. I couldn't understand women who put themselves in that kind of helpless position. If you raise a man's children and run his household, you're an equal partner and deserve to share equally in his income. I just decided, half is half and that's how it's going to be. I insisted on having my own savings account and had property in my own name. It wasn't much, but if I had to I could hack it on my own. I didn't expect to be dumped, but I couldn't stand the idea of being helpless and beholden.
I have watched women and men my entire life, either dragged down or beat down, by weak spouses. In every case the weakest person is the one doing the bullying of a strong person. Do not think that always the bully is the one on top in a relationship.That is why you got bars full of husbands hiding from nagging women, and you got the internet full of wives hiding from domineering men.
It is the reason in my relationship I have the absolute rule that I never look at any other person's investments as my own. I simply will not do that, because if you start counting on other people's money, you are going to get disappointed. I view God as my source and that means I had better always have things balanced and in the black.
My Grandfathers never spent what they did not have and if they did not have money in their pocket for something, they did not need it bad enough. I learned that lesson, because my dad was the exact opposite in never having anything of his own, always being in debt on easy money, and always conning my brother to use dad's stuff if my brother took care of it.
I looked at that and said, "Bullshit, I am not selling my soul and I am going to get my own.
The earliest lesson on finances I learned was from Papa Wilder of the Laura Ingalls Wilder books. It was a story of a fair where they were selling lemonade for 50 cents a glass and Almanzo asked his dad for the money. Papa handed it over to the great gasp and horror of the other men, but Papa told Almanzo, "You can go buy that lemonade for 50 cents and it will be gone, or you can go over and buy a suckling pig for 50 cents, raise it up and sell it for a profit. It is up to you."
Almanzo bought the pig.
Every person on this planet needs things of their own. It does not mean an easy exit from marriage and if you are thinking that way, you do not have a marriage. It means that as Glynnis Yeager wrote, it meant she was not going to be stuck in an impossible situation if life went bad, as it tends to do for all people, so she was going to be ready for it.
I am not rich for stock or property. I do save though, and I always view that money as already spent and I NEVER touch it. Money takes discipline and a plan to invest it in something you want, which will make you money. My mind is always clicking in I refuse to buy things that break. Give me the choice between a pretty dish or a cast iron pan, and the pan is the only choice.
My brother's ex does not have her house paid off. She always was a manipulator, so when it came to her parents dying, the first damn thing she did with her share of a house payment inheritance is she went out and bought a new car.
Nom de Deus!!! A vehicle is the last thing you ever buy, because it loses 5000 dollars the moment you drive it off the lot, and it is like adopting a fat Mexican with a host of tape worms in it never stops eating gas, and it has always got some insurance or repair eating you alive. Pay your house off, then you have a home that the bank can not throw you out of.
You always do the smart thing with money, because doing the stupid thing comes natural.
Every person has a responsibility to protect the life that God gave them, and that starts out in your having your own money and property, so you do not pill yourself in depression or end up on the street, or become a rug on the floor for some son of a bitch to berate you for their shitty life.
You have your own, and halves are fine, but you start having a relationship like that, in counting the paycheck coming in or dividing up "your money" and "their money" and sooner than later that hand holding, that cuddling, and bed time is all going to be as cold change in your pocket on a 20 below day.
There is balance in everything, and the balance is your security, as no man deserves to be put on the street in a divorce by some hag and no woman deserves to be a whore by some bastard in a marriage.
Chuck Yeager had tough women in his life. They all had to be to make it in the world. The Yeagers of West Virginia did not have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out. Jackie Cochran the holder of the women's flight records in America, was a throw away child in Florida who through grit became a self made woman. Glynnis Yeager was a self made woman in California, who married a tough man in Chuck Yeager and Pancho Barnes ran her own rather lively establishments in the desert, and all three of those women were not past telling the most powerful men in the world which end to get off on.
You owe things to God, not men, and you owe it to yourself to only be in debt to God.
- Lame Cherry
So get your life situated, and make certain your children get situated, and that means that your finances are not the reserve for someone else to be tapped into..........and for your own sake in life, drill it into those children's heads that you don't have to marry someone because you love them. Love is the ruin of many people. It is better to get someone who is responsible and trustworthy to learn to love them, as people used to do in arranged marriages, because love is blind and when you marry for the ugly side of building a life 50 years down the road, you keep your eyes open and see it all.