As another Lame Cherry exclusive in matter anti matter.
I was thinking today and as I type this realize that it will reach people who will welcome this message, because it is about being alone on the holidays. I was thinking about this as I was out checking fence.
In rural areas, I need to keep my livestock in, and on this place of Mom's they have always used electric fences to make up for the gaps in the fencing. From deer to wind to only the devil would know, an electric fence shorts out, so on my Sunday I noticed the fence was not working properly and went around the pastures to see what was going on. The pastures being a few acres each as it is rotational grazing.
To a point I like checking fence, because I am alone. TL does not deal with cold weather which I do not like for TL, so I hoof it around alone and checking fence is like Christmas or a PBS mystery as you never know where you are going to find the shorts in the fence. Today for some reason a woven wire had fallen on the fence, and for another reason the electric wire was wrapped around a barb wire.
In my brier patch we call it wind, and we get wind. In other areas they call them cyclones as that is the kind of winds we get for days sometimes that just roar in the trees.
As I was finishing up, I was aware that I was alone in Spirit and I like that as I talk to God when I am alone and with the din of this blog, I rarely have the opportunity to just be alone with God anymore. Being alone is different than being lonely. I have had a great deal of lonely and really had no remedy as I am not that gregarious and I really do not like being around people. A trip on errands once a week is about all the around people I desire. I probably spend in a several hour venture 40 minutes some days just bullshitting people about nothing.
My Beloved Uncle was alone, but he had a different kind of alone that most people here have, in they live alone, but go out for coffee a few time a day to fill in the gaps. My Auntie is alone, but she has her phone and her sons check on her. Mom can live alone as she has goats to keep her company. Some people are really good at being alone in having a dog, cat or fish or bird, and that is enough for them to fill in.
Others like in metro areas are the loneliest of all, as they sit in bars around people or sporting events to not be alone with themselves and then go home to their isolation, because they do not want contact with people, but just feed in million plus cities on the psychic scream there.
I like being alone though and TL is good company in being alone. The alone I like though are open spaces or waters. I remember John Wayne in True Grit complaining about 'Not one tree from Texas to the Canadian border' and not liking it. I have been in the mountains, have been in the forests, have been in swamps and I hate that stuff as you can't see, can't be free, all you can do is travel in winding routes that take forever to get anywhere. If I had my preference, I like leopard country or savanna. It has some trees in dry waterages, but is mostly just nothing. I like nothing and lots of nothing in my sky. I don't need to fill things up in my vista to pretend something is there. It just being there is enough for me and me being alone is how I like doing it. Before TL I talked to myself, made up stories, prayed, sang, was myself in being raised in isolation I learned to like it a great deal and it stuck.
I am pleased most people like shopping malls to not be alone, but for me I like being outside with the wind blowing slightly, and just seeing what plants or animals I can come across. Today in checking fence, Libby and Darby came over to check me out. Darby walked over and Libby whinnied. The cows looked at me like what was I, one came over to try and bluff me in wanting to do damage, but it is all part of moving through life alone and just feeling alive.
Some people come here to not be alone on the blog. I come here too to talk with you in being alone. It is nice to come to a place and have someone nod at you and acknowledge you as that is all it takes. The Viking always calls us "sisters", Maggie listens to me being odd, Richard and Stephanie are God's miracle, Capt. Kirk pokes me in the email and others stop in when they can or just figure to stay out of the way, when they are not in the way, but they are all welcome as it is part of the alone and not being lonely.
The Puntz is thee most independent cat on the planet. Acts like lonely is what she wants rather than me. That is until she starts calling at night and I call back to her, or she bites me as today when I pick her up in her protest of my attention, or she walks through and I pull her tail, as she is like me in she likes being alone. Her current location is a pile of plastic containers in Mom's bedroom with my pants on top, where she glares out through the doorway at everyone, but have me gone on a second errand and that cat knows it and is protesting as she wants me around.
Like all of you I have heard the wisdom of there is not anyone who is ever alone in this world. That there are around a half dozen people you never think of who think the world of you. There is love there and most are too shy to ever express it. My neighbor used to say that every pot has it's lid. In that case it was a tall husband with a squat wife, but I know that every pot and lid have a half dozen pots and lids out there who care about them, pray for them and pay attention to them.
I was thinking about Oprah Winfrey in a program she did on people being together. There was this vivacious woman on stage, who was attractive because she was so outgoing. There was a number of the wooden model types complaining about not getting a date, but this woman had them all the time. When she was questioned about it, she said some were balding, some were fat, some had crooked teeth, some were short, to which the models cringed at they could never date men like that. So they didn't and were sitting home lonely or alone with their other catty females, getting desperate so some list guy would use them for sex or marry them and then cheat on them, and then they would wonder what went wrong, when the problem is they were not dating solid men, but were interested in only the image.
That reminds me a show on Sally Jesse years ago, about this 40 year old woman who booted her chubby bald husband out of the house and took him for everything. She was bitching up a storm though now as she had lost everything as houses need repairs and she spent all the settlement on trinkets. He was now 50 years old and the fat old guy had a 23 year old hot secretary he was dating as the girl knew a good deal when she came across one.
I keep telling my brother he needs a solid woman, but he does not get the point and is caught up in the artificial thing and TL is the rare exception of someone who is attractive with both oars in the water. The thing is with TL I honestly thought TL was a grubber when TL wrote to me. I like Johnny Quest and TL was talking to me about that cartoon. TL in reading this blog thought I was goof. Others though mentioned me and TL gave it another try and it was the Jane Austin thing and my other peculiar things I notice that convinced TL that I was someone who lived in reality.
When we get our house, I plan to invite some of the alone people I know over for eats. I don't get invited places as I would probably not go, so I am going to invite people over and like Jesus fill the house up with people along the road. The only thing in being lonely is not making the mistakes that I did as there are loads of predators out there just scoping lonely people out. It is harder now in people move around so much, unlike the brier patch my first question in meeting someone is who they are and I register the by family and kindred, to see if they are worth the time to trust.
That is the odd part about TL and myself, we get along great, and were raised different and were in different circles. It just worked because God put us together and it is a great deal of work every day as relationships are 90% giving and not keeping score, just like an orchid.
I have mentioned in how I deal with things in not having things, and being alone so the loneliness does not set in. I set little goals around food, like baking a fruit cake for breakfast with those pretty candied fruit, and have some tea, and that way I can look forward to something I can control as fruitcakes are not fickle like people.
I do not like getting presents, but I like watching TL open presents and TL is always good about appreciating things I just know are the best presents in the world. I am excited about one particular toy I got TL, but can not post about it here or it will be discovered. When I was lonely I would get myself things that I wanted. Never expensive as I could not afford it, but lots of ditz things like Harbor Freight had 2 dollar little hammers one year and other things that were extras so I would have a pile of things to pretend I did not know what was in them.
As I wrote, I like being alone on a holiday, and have a 1% interaction. It might be the blog in talking to you or your reading something here, but I just do not hide in crowds from myself and I do not need crowds of people to validate myself nor 500 names texting me bullshit on my phone. I've had enough of that part time thing, paper ring stuff.
Now I am not the kind who dresses up 4 year old nephews like one of my cousins does to fill her day, but I do dress up roast beasts in old roasting pans. I prefer the crappier, junkier and crappier the better. The kind no one else would want. I bring them home, mother them and voila I got a new treasure which just was on the Island of Misfit Pots looking for someone like me.
Charlie Brown had his little needle shedding tree. There are all kinds of throw away things out there just looking to come home for a little or nothing.
I just would that Christians would remember they are never alone. There is always the Father, Jesus and the Holy Ghost. There are Holy Angels, and the past few years I have seen more or sensed more Saints and pets than I figured on being around me which left this world or I should say come for a visit. I just would I would have been shown that before as showing me I never have been alone, but have had a community of Saints around always checking on me as they check on you.
With that God bless each of you with Christmas, as Scrooge said in Charles Dickens, it is keeping the Spirit of Christmas in the heart, it is not about merry, it is about a baby without a home, born in a barn with no one around, and that baby loves you for you, because you are you, and when you stay with Jesus and trust that He knows what is best, you will have things which you notice are already filling your life, and maybe it is Jesus likes being with you alone, as you are special and He is protecting you from the ever growing world of shallow souls who do nothing but take and not give.
Christmas Blessings in God's Love.
LC
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