Thursday, December 7, 2017

The Merchant of Shylock Review




As another Lame Cherry exclusive in matter anti matter.


I was just watching thee worst portrayal of the Merchant of Venice in world history, starring Al Pacino. Having a Shylock break in and out of a New York accent is bad, but unfortunately Al Pacino as a Jew who can not act, is not the worst of this horrid movie.

For those who need reminding, Merchant of Venice is about a Jew who wants to carve off a pound of flesh from a Christian who owes him money. In that backdrop, the first rolling words on the screen are "pity the Jew" for all they have gone through.
As Hitler was Jewish, I wonder why we do not have that disclaimer in every Nazi accusation.

This is the cast:

Cast

Cast overview, first billed only:
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Joseph Fiennes is always very good, but he is not a Joaquin Phoenix. I mean Nom de Deus, can you imagine Joaquin Phoenix as Shylock? He would be beyond fantastic!!! But then what does one expect from the greatest actor of all time.


 

So Al Pacino is miscast and sucks, as he and Robert DeNiro had a career of standing around and looking Italian. That might work for spaghetti, but it gets old with actors.

Jeremy Irons is the guy who is supposed to be carved on, and honestly if it were not for Pacino, you would hope Irons does get carved on. He is like Senator Jeff Flake in being pathetically pathetic, like a sheep you hope the wolf eats.

What is worst in this is Portia, Lynn Collins. She is about as bad as the black actor they chose, in he really sucked.

 

When the moment comes to the pound of flesh, Collins blows it. She looks like a grubby macaroni ass humper when dressed as a guy in this scene too. I know it is not all Collins fault as directing goes to the Director, Michael Radford who scripted this shitter script, but blowing the biggest scene and instead cuckolding husbands is a bit of a miss in what Merchant of Venice was about. It was about fidelity, and not breaking trust, and how the Christian mercy is greater than the Jew immersed in the law of the loan shark.

Radford is a Wog Indian, who never directed a thing, so you got an 18 million dollar British faggery again, which picks ugly actresses who can not act, and these oddball Brits, who throw in Al Pacino to sucker in an American audience who is not going to watch this tripe.
Ian McKellen, Lord of the Butthole Ring was supposed to be on this, so you know what was going on here.


If you want to watch a good Merchant of Venice, very well directed, then go for thee 1980 AD in the year of our Lord MoV, as it was high drama.

As for this one, Pacino and the lezbos must have gotten all the Italian tits to oggle they could find, as I have never seen so much naked boob in Shakespeare. It was absolutely pornographic and that includes Jeremy Irons naked tits.


There simply is nothing in this production worth watching. You know a movie is bad when tits can not save it. Then what do you expect from lesbians and faggots, as the entire point is to turn off straight people, and face it, nothing turns off everyone more than Al Pacino and Jeremy Irons.

What could be worse than British and Italian producers, where the Brits are queer and the Italians think Al Pacino can act.

18 million dollars for this and I can't get some rich millionaire with money to spare donating here for something better than movies.



Nuff Said



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