Monday, March 26, 2018

The Real Trump Bump Stock Ban

 Now we know what Donald Trump was spanked with by his Mum.

As another Lame Cherry exclusive in matter anti matter.

*Bump stock is of course sexual street slang for swatting a bum with a magazine.

By now most of you have heard of Stormy Daniels 60 Minutes interview where her Rham Emanuel attorney said the evidence has just started with her tryst with Mr. High Rise. The Lame Cherry though has once again gone beyond what other media can accomplish in investigative journalism and has uncovered the real inside story of Donald Trump being spanked by a Forbes magazine by Stormy Daniels.

The Lame Cherry cautions that the following photos and quote are shocking. Viewer discretion advised.


Donald preferred fresh off the press as they snapped better.

Donald always had a limit of 12 swats and then we
switched to a new magazine. He donated the used ones to
doctor's waiting rooms. 

The following are exclusive interview quotes from the women in Trump's life. I don't know if they knew we were talking about the same thing, but the quotes are accurate as near as possible.

Marla Maples

I can't say it was really spanking in our relationship, but there was a pair of monkeys named Ban and Na that we used to get from the New York zoo and they had this little whip........

 Ban and Na

Ivana  Trump

There was nothing we invested in really, it was just I would wet my bra and snap his balls with it.

Paula White  

He just has me spank him with my Bible when he has been naughty.

Karen McDougal

I don't know about the spanking, but there was this thing with tongue lashing.

Melania Trump


Spanking? It was the Hail Mary, in the entire Catholic treatment of Nuns with rulers to the knuckles and I wore out twelve Rosaries one year in that self flagellation.  I lost all my pregnancy weight in the Marionette Sex Reduction Program.

Ewww daddy, is that why Forbes was always rolled up!