As another Lame Cherry exclusive in matter anti matter.
From what I have been going through since mom died, I know this country is broken both financially and morally, in what business and government are raping Americans by. If Donald Trump wants to be a real President, he should read this post as this is what America is.
Numerous readers have reached out to me since mom died. They have told me their sacrifices for their loved ones which have never been acknowledged, from caring for their spouses for years, their parents or as Debbie informed me, her dad died the week before mom did. I feel for all and grieve for all, as it reminds me in how focused I am on my problems in trying to save us, that others have similar problems. I feel guilty for not being more compassionate as I pound things out here daily. Debbie's dad died and all she got here was me raising hell about what is coming to destroy everything. That is not right, and for all of you in your losses and sacrifices, I know what you are going through and you have my love and respect. God bless you.
For me, and I am serious, you know it is another crapper day when the best news you got is that they are cutting off mom's fuel assistance as she is dead. Donald Trump are you listening to what real people are going through in your high fuel prices and trying to survive, and when bad things happen, the government does not help, it instead tries to bury me in a grave too.
I had to call our neighbor to feed Daisy and Baby Belle. He knew mom well, and was the last one to see her alive. We talked for awhile this morning. He was another story like all of you in he was telling me about his mom, in she died 3 days after they got her signed up for home hospice care. The nurse told them it would not be long, told his sister as she is a nurse too. He said to me, "It was really getting hard to take care of her at the end, "and the added, "I don't have to tell you that".
He is trying to keep his dad on the farm as we did mom in the country, as 6000 dollar a month is bullshit as he said to me about nursing homes, and it is.
Oh I did have one good thing to make me feel not like every time the stove came on, the furnace turned on, or I switched a light on that my life was bleeding away in energy costs I can not afford, in there was a flier from Hardees which we got in a bulk delivery. I stopped by uncles and grabbed his out of the delivery box, as the person who checks that place is not going to use it, and he is not coming back, so I might as well use it. That is my life, stealing coupons out of a delivery box.
Uncle was supposed to be operated on in 2 weeks, that is now like 8 weeks, no operation. He is on therapy to get stronger, and the surgery is moved back to January. Seriously I don't think the old boy is coming back as they keep moving the goal post on him. Is bizarre in his doctor daughter is going to be heating that place all winter or the pipes will freeze, and the person checking the place is going to get tired of checking things. I think if he makes it back for the celebration of that place he is on setting a milestone, he will be fortunate. Then there is the reality that things fall apart without a person living inside, and the reality is I wonder who will break into that place and loot it. It is going to be too much for them, and in that I hope they will finally sell to me, as this has been a load of horse shit all of this.
I was speaking to my cousin in the apology tour, and I asked him about a bully in town as I had not seen him around, and he said his nephew called the law on him to have him put into a home. The town had been letting him shower in the fire station, but he was living in his pickup as for some reason the nephew who is a real prick would only let him stay in some shed. In all of that it might be a surprise to learn that I really liked this guy. He was a giant and a smart ass, but he always was good to my family. He is the moral of the story that bullies grow old and no one is there for them in the end.
He has a hernia, bad hip, and is shrinking, but no doing therapy. If I have time, I am going to stop and visit him if he says it is alright. Never know as he is ornery as hell, but my cousin said that after they got him to settle down, he broke down, as he knew he was never leaving that geezer home alive.
I was surprised today to get the mail in I got a memorial from a woman who is kind of a fancy pants. The thing is TL and I sent her a sympathy card earlier this year, when her mom died. I wrote inside that her mom was a real gem and other nice things. She never acknowledged that card, but the card she sent today I know is from the one I sent. Yes even the brier patch girl touched someone when their beloved mother died. People around here who have any heart, do not forget anything when it comes to slights or doing something right by them. That is one reason I remember that bully, as he sent a card when my dad died with 20 bucks in it, and my brother said, "That must have been his last 20 dollars".
That is one reason I always made a point to speak to that man and would have if I had the money made sure he had a place to stay. I do not forget things either.
I am not forgetting that my sisters have not attempted to kick in for that 7000 dollar funeral bill. TL said that TL could see that the one's husband would try and weasel out of things by giving 50 bucks to some church in mom's name. TL said you could see that bastard did not want to be there. That 7000 dollars is like a magic talisman, in mention it, and that should keep those assholes from sniffing around here for anything. Friday is the lawyer to try and sort things out and I hope to God that is not another big damn bill as there is nothing here. Just more people who do not care and few who do care.
That is what all the people have found out who wrote me, but did not say it. They did the right things and found out how thankless it is. Oh sure my one sister thanked me for all I did, but it was like, "Yeah and where the hell were you!!!!" The other one had sense to not bring it up as she knew I would probably uncork, but I held my Indian face and just pretended.
Yeah mom would have not degraded or died, if those cheap bitches had been kicking in for mom, instead of just me. I predict that those assholes will be dumped into nursing homes as their kids will get rid of them fast, especially the asshole brother in law. TL was speaking with that asshole's daughter in law, and TL said, "She has it all on the ball. She probes, is a ballbuster and is in charge". That gal will own asshole's nut sack before this is over, and I did notice as did TL that no one talked to her and she was not talking to them. She will get her pounds of flesh.
For all the bad things mom did, we were here, not out of love, but out of it being the right thing to do. Every new bill and setback just makes me scowl about that woman, who God saved by working through us. We had our lives denied and had a great deal of our happiness robbed from us the past months, but we still did the right thing according to what God said in Scripture which we should behave like. Here am I pleased that God utilized us, but it was like being scalded alive and not feeling like it is worth it, as a new scab is tore off each day.
I keep writing though in the generous rich people will appear with big donations for what they owe God as believing that is all I can do rather than thinking my life is bleeding away.
Our neighbor said to me, 'Your mom wasn't feeling good for awhile, as she wasn't calling for feed anymore and it was you.".
I live in a place where people notice anything that changes and they know the meanings. It is in all of us here by survival instinct. Nothing is hidden. He did say though he almost stopped and hugged mom as he drove by us when we were walking but had a trailer and thought he would catch her next time. He lamented, "I should have hugged her". I told him it was ok as she was glad to see him as she waved.
He told me later, that our other neighbor called him up and asked if he heard about mom. He said, "No what about her", then he was told she was dead, and he exclaimed, "I just seen her out walking today".
When I informed him she died immediately after he came by, he reflected that he probably had not even turned up his driveway yet.
Thing is, in a part of this story which I have told no one, as mom was dead at the end of the driveway, another vehicle, some SUV yuppie drove by. They didn't even see us there. I cringed when I saw them as I did not need the attention, but that is typical of this world in people can't see a problem when it is right there, because they have never had to deal with real problems and those problems are what unite us in understanding of all we go through, as we are not alone, there are others who know how hard it all is.
Nuff Said
agtG
Nuff Said
agtG
agtG
