As another Lame Cherry exclusive in matter anti matter.
Who knew when the demons were conjured through the portal with all that alien and big foot searched for contacts, that the UFO's were not UFO's but all the ruse, and when they broke through and made contact, real contact. I am talking about hover over the White House and piss plasma pew all over the Roosevelt Balcony,and I don't want to say what excrement was dumped on the Kremlin, but a shit face drunk Russia, having eaten rotten Beluga caviar from World War II, having drank a liter of vodka, made from rotten potatoes which was filtered through a dead whore's, sweaty wool socks,which had not been washed from last winter.....let me just say, what he puked up did not smell like what the Kremlin smelled like.
So when the demons made contact, it was not what Spock expected. There was no green blood, no logic, not fascinating, no Vulcan erections over Bone's nurse, and no mind melds. It was a strange message, that was asked for a repeat, and it was repeated, along with plague of biting flies, sliming frogs, men with withered penis, hot hail stones and one bad case of diarrhea, so it was not asked for a third time, but the message was translated in all languages and was sort of short and to the point.
Canada sucks and we want it gone.
I mean, everyone knew what the message meant, as everyone was thinking the same thing, but they never said it. They just thought about it, like a cancerous mole, they figured if they ignored it, it would go away, but here were more than a legion of demons, and I don't know what is bigger than a legion of demons, because the Romans did not have crushing military units bigger than legions, but there were a whole lot of demons, and those demons all had decided on one thing pretty evident that Canada sucked and they wanted it gone.
Now there were like several presidents who got the message, but they didn't act right away, because they were talking things over, and it was the reality that they all agreed that Canada sucked, but it was the reality that they just could not wrap Canada up in a sealed plastic bag and put it somewhere. It was not like you could just pull the Canada piece of the puzzle and put it on Mars. It was not like you could just paint Caanda with camo paint and pretend it was Iceland. It was not like you could just plant roses all over Canada and demons would like it, as everyone likes roses. It was like how do you make Canada gone as it is kind of large and no one had ever succeeded in making something disappear since Atlantis and no one had the disassembly book on that and all the dissemblers were dead, as far as anyone knew.
So while the politicians were contemplating a gone Canada, the demons turned the waters into blood, and I tell you, that really put a different color into people's laundry.
So they asked, not challenging mind you, but asked if Canada meant all of Canada or just Canadians, as a clarification was in order, as humans were not like God in making parts of a planet to disappear, so would it be ok if the world was like Joe Stalin in making Ukrainians disappear.
The thing is there was no reply. Not even a plague.
It is really hard for humans apparently to know what to do when they are given the primal authority to consume their own kind. See there has to be lots of solemn looks, allot of contemplation, well unless they were Americans Indians who enjoyed slaughtering the 7th Cavalry, otherwise old Harry Truman pretended quite well that he didn't want to nuke two Japanese cities.
The thing is the Canadians were not just Canadianing around waiting for the world to make them gone. Ottawa was putting out feelers for negotiations as they were messaging the demons that since they were sodomites, abortionites, basic the world of Noah before the flood, that perhaps the demons would just like to make Canada their hell on earth and Ottawa could offer up things demons liked, like virgins, orgies, herds of swine and little girls who can turn their heads completely around. You know like an Ottawa Christmas party when all the regular folk went home to their families.
The demons did not reply.
The Canadians offered again in white fish as everyone likes white fish. There was no response, except from the world, who just sort of went silent, as everyone looked around and could not believe it, like no one could believe the United States just did not take Canada and do something with it, as Canada was, well Canada.
Once again Ottawa did not accomplish a whole lot, other than being Canadian.
The Monarchy in London though did offer up the Isle of Man to the demons in exchange, as the royals figured demons would not know the difference. Demons though apparently do know the difference between nothing and nada.
So the world decided on what it only could decided upon, and that was to unload every weapon of mass destruction on Canada. America actually closed it's borders as no profit was involved and the world demanded that Canada be gone to the last Canadian. Russia put up a naval blockade and China went all out in not exporting any more Chinamen to Canada to colonize the place.
The thing is, that is when things got a bit odd, as if demons conjured through portals and Canadians to save themselves offered demons white fish was not odd. See the orders were issued, and everyone turned the keys, put in the codes, and pushed the buttons, but nothing happened.
Who would have known that all these expensive, sophisticated and numerous weapons of mass death, would not work when the button was pushed. It was like buying fake Viagra from Mexico and expecting an ugly prostitute to like you, and it was all the same as before, in no erection and just being laughed at.
The world figured it was doomed, as there was not enough toilet paper for a global plague of demonic diarrhea, but that is when it got really strange. Yes stranger than all of the above.
The demons messaged again, and said that with Canada being gone, they were satisfied.
Everyone was puzzled and the French wanted to send a message to mention that nothing was done and Canada was still there, because the French are that way in diplomacy, but fortunately demons do not understand the French, anymore than anyone understands Quebec.
It was then that someone with some sense, obviously someone with a Bible, wrote a letter to the President, I don't know which one, but said, "You know Canada is not really a place to begin with, so maybe the demons concluded it is gone, as it is already not really there".
That pretty much solved it, and people went back to being stupid, as being smart did not suit them any with the demon negotiations. People were still looking for UFO's and still hauling around the woods looking for big foot, and it was all like there were demons here all along, just like no one really knows if Canada is there or not.
As another Lame Cherry exclusive in matter anti matter.
Nuff Said
agtG
