As another Lame Cherry exclusive in matter anti matter.
So in prepping I ordered from Midway USA for I think it was 410 BB shotgun shells as I figured they would kill about anything at 10 feet as a loose chunk of lead or a solid chunk of lead is about the same thing to the head.
That is poetic and rhymes. It is my nature.
So my Midway mails were all in the spam box for some reason, and perhaps it was due to Larry Potterfield. Don’t ask as I do not know who the guy is, but he looks as stupid as TL’s old man.
He writes short stories, more like he types 4 paragraphs about hunting in Africa it would seem. I was reading one where he said he busted an elephant, and as he never said the weight of the tusks, I figured it was round 40 pounds as all he claimed was that is was trophy in Africa now. Yes the poachers and regimes there slaughter elephants and ship the ivory to Asia.
Anyway, he talks about cutting a 3 foot patch off an elephant, chopping through the ribs, the heart is like a 5 gallon bucket size, then says about cubing the meat and roasting it on sticks. Dude post AVIF files too for pictures………. real anal about things I guess.
What struck me was the limb in front of the fire where he was, is burned. Hell of a blaze for coals for his lunch of broiled tusker heart………or is that Tantor in Tarzan. I forget as his cartoons were long ago in my viewing and there was no sexy Jane swinging around as I recall for fashion statements.
So I read the story, and checked as second and third time, and dude does not even say it tastes like chicken.
I mean there are rules. You say what your caliber of rifle, say the load, record your gripe that the tracker knows more than the Pro Hunter, and they you say you got drunk with sundowners and you ate Impala livers and threw up at midnight and the hyenas ate your puke, and what a great time it all was.
I mean I’m never going to eat elephant hear, so the idea is to tell people who can not shit money and go to Africa and tell them what elephant heart flavor is. Does it taste like chicken heart? Is it like goose? Is it strong? Is it like beef? Is it like pork? I mean what does jumbo heart taste like? Does it taste like human heart as they still eat people over there and maybe you got a taste when the Negroes were passing around the cubes as they were feeling festive on the millet beer, before a hyena ate their drunken faces off.
As you can see, not being in Africa, I can write a better African story than someone who has been there. Now I don’t want to be like Robert Ruark in calling his wife an old whore as they both were drunk and she having a mouth on her too, but all the same, I kind of want more than watching and old dude with his meat stuck in the fire and posing with dead tame elephants.
I probably paid for this elephant heart foray with my Midway purchase, so at least someone could tell me if I ever will be tempted to shoot an elephant at a zoo and BBQ the heart before those woke zombie game keepers figure out that the aroma of burning elephant dung mixed with meat scents is someone who was enticed by a story online to go on safari as my deadbeat donors steal all my stuff and can’t find their wallets.
I probably should say the above paragraph is satire as the anals at the Silicon oligarchs can’t take a joke and write rude things about me without me ever saying what elephant hearts taste like.
Honestly I don’t eat hearts. Well ground up in sausage I do, but chickens are tough as hell and stronger than some anus tasting meat. I would like to be spared the trials of an elephant heart if I could. Even that was missing in Larry’s tale as he never said he was slicing off feet for tables to rest his wine on at night when he gets home or wearing his elephant hair tail bracelet which is all the woven rage among jumbo hunters.
As I said, I write a better elephant hunting story than the people who hunt elephants. Then again I’m an interesting person unlike most people who are boring as hell.
Any way here is another Larry tale you can be bored with, in he tried to get White People killed in Africa by having leopards eat them by blowing a shot, because a leopard scared the hell out of him.
Oh well was not any blood in the shots as Capstick said to clean up the blood as some people are squeamish about those things. Is why Larry cut off his own legs in this shot as the Negroes with machete’s chop the ivory out of the head of dead elephants and you not supposed to see bloody jagged stumps like when your dentist shoots you up and pulls a tooth rooted down to your toes.
Thanks for the filler Larry.
Nuff Said
agtG
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