The Other Sarah Palin

My Mom had a bright idea a few years ago in naming a calf, Sarah Palin, as she was quite fond of the real one.

Today I had a most interesting time with Sarah Palin, and I wanted to share a part of my life as I rarely can as most of it is above the line that even Presidents or occupants do not tread the grounds God has me scouting.

It has been a cold spring for most of America, and it remained that way in part, because stupid rich people who build million dollar homes in Fargo, North Dakota, lament and wail about flooding, so it reaches God and we have a slow melt.........and North Carolina gets hammered by tornadoes.
I would be certain the dead in the South are so pleased they died so some wealthy Obama voter kept their carpet dry.

Meanwhile back at the horse corral, it snowed at 6 this morning.......I know as I was up feeding babies and they didn't like it any more than I did........but the mountain were pretty as they had more snow, and the storm clouds were breaking, so the sun was shining on them, and it honestly looked like they were glowing from below.
So I noted Palin as I call her...........Mom calls her Sarah, sort of dancing around, and as cows do not dance, I frowned and said something like, "Shit she must have had her calf".

Palin is a drooler. By that a cowboy notes some cows drain out of their female parts a few weeks before they calve. She has been doing that and I have been praying for better weather as everything works better in better weather.
Today was one of those devil days when everything goes wrong........well it went wrong about 10 the night before as I wrenched my knee, so of course being lame, Lame got to go herd a cow around as the dancing part of Palin signaled she was not going to take her calf.

You never can figure out Rush Limbaugh and Mark Levin..........I pick them out as Limbaugh hates farmers and Levin has much incorrect information he repeats about why wheat prices go up.......why in hell a heifer will not or will take her calf. I have another heifer whose calf died as they do in birth, as it drown in it's own placenta......and she being named Dodo, decided to steal another calf from her mother of all things.........so Dodo and her mother are both mothering a calf.
Palin on the other hand was walking about, going back to her calf, and then taking off again.

Fine if it is not a Fargo cold day for slow melt, but today it was wet and windy, so with a shivering calf, I picked her up as she was a little girl and put her in a corral, and left the gate open so I could go find Palin.........who I found in a grove of trees looking like she was looking for something she could not find.

I just loved that with my knee, so back we came, and Palin missed the gate, so I got around her, and brought her back and with some fast stepping, in she went into the pen.

I was good to her, got her some hay to chew on, and tossed a rope on her.........and then things did not go according to the Cherry.
Oh Sarah was ok with the rope on her head, but you have to put a halter on her which you make out of the lariat in a simple loop. That she did not appreciate, and she dragged me around the pen a few times with a few words from me.

Having enough of that, I tied her off, and got another lariat so I could do some close work, to which I got the halter loop on her..........and got the calf up to see if it would suck.

It tried........and Sarah did some more dancing, which I was not pleased with as baby calves have a limited amount of interest.........so the lariat went on her back leg to another post, which had her tied off on two ends, which ended her tricks and ..........well before this happened, I was next to her with the calf and she knocked me ass over tea kettle when she lunged at me.

I'm so glad that horseshit is soft as getting bowled over by a cow makes NFL linebackers hitting you child's play.

Anyway, Palin kicked, and we negotiated, and the calf decided it was not going to suck.

So I milked Palin, all four tits......as when you get close you break open all the nipples as there is a wax plug in them to keep the milk from leaking out.........and I milked some collustrum which a calf must have or it will die.......must have within the first day as it like all mammals require the enzymes in mother's milk.
Palin had lovely milk as it was rich, thick and almost orange "beasling" which is an English word.

Calf still would not suck......oh and for Mr. Limbaugh, try a hundred pound, slimey calf, a cow looking to fall over you, your one hand milking, the arm holding up the calf, you bent over till your back is screaming as it burns in pain, your other hand is holding the head of the calf with finger in the mouth to make it suck.........and you are getting batted in the head with a tail that is like bat, which is covered with afterbirth and shit.

Again, the calf would not suck.

So I had my Mom get a kettle for me to milk into, a bottle to feed the calf, and I milked these little nubby tits.........at least she milked easy, as some cows are like trying to get a camel through the eye of a needle in getting milk out of them.

So I douced the calf, or used the bottle in pumping it into it's mouth and sticking my finger down it's throat, it swallowed about a cup.........which is life and I was satisfied with a headache, a burning side, sore from my neck to my feet.....and I got feed, water and some sweet treats for Palin to make sure she was a good girl.

She was not a good girl though as she was pulling so hard on the halter she was cutting of her air.......never seen that before, and I could not get the honda loose (no not a Japanese car), so I had to re rope her, re tie her shorter, and finally off came the first halter.

No problem there as Palin had slipped the rope over one ear and it was now pressing into her eye..........so I had to re rope, re tie and remove the problem.

It was all quite noon about this time, and she only pounded the calf a few times.......and I was contemplating the calf must have been either too new to suck as they have their time frame or it maybe had sucked already some..............either case it doesn't matter as you have to get milk into them in those first hours.

So I went to town for supplies.........came home, and Palin had slipped the halter, but had decided not to choke herself off. She was laying down chewing her cud.........so I was enthused about it all as only a cowboy would be as I knew rodeo two was coming soon.

Of course, I decided now on a tied halter to make things easy on my girl..........and of course she wanted no part of that, as doing things easy just is not a thing cows do.

So I tied her off short again, and yes you must pull a thousand pound cow to tie them off shorter in leverage.

The dance was on again, and Palin pounded her calf, looked intently with interest at me, which is either interest or she wanted to kill me, which she almost did earlier in the day in bouncing me off the panels and attempting to cut me half with the rope next to the panels.

Little girl Palin though was all guns tonight in knowing how to suck, in going to the cow, chasing after her, and sucking..........sucking is good as it pulls the uterus back up as women folk know of such things in nursing babies............and it of course displeases some cows so they dance around more and make things difficult.
Palin though behaved through her discomfort, but in cowboy rule number 1, you let that little calf pound on her as long as it likes, as the more it sucks, the more it knows how to suck and the more it antagonizes the cow they are sucking on the more they educate them to the Pavlov's udder that they are taking that calf no matter what.
See cows once that milk from them gets through the calf, the calf them smells like them.........and the whole bonding thing of mother and child cements.

That leaves it there as I watch Palin from my kitchen window. She looks intently at the house and stirs about testing the rope, and I will check her to make sure the 4 H halter teaches her to behave...........as when you get a critter like this, it is a pain in the body to let them go and try and catch them again........better to get them used to the situation and pretend they like being mothers, and then you can let things go hopefully the next day as it is supposed to be a lovely rain.

Things should go well, as the panels will keep the coyotes out if my rifle and traps do not. That though is what it takes to bring hamburger to your table..............while Americans like me who know real life, have a contempt for the Rush Limbaughs in their Florida mansions stealing from people like me.

See I can't call a day off. I can't call someone else to do a job no one else can do, as cattle know their owners and go nuts with strangers and who needs a PMS cow nuttier than she was.

I did in a moment lecture my Mom not to be naming any more cattle after politicians.......yes I love Sarah Palin in both forms and intend on keeping mine, as I was their rescuing her horrid Galloway cross grandmother who upon calving got stuck under a wagon in some odd thing that animals can only find themselves in...........I pulled her Mother's first calf which died as shit happens in calves sometimes get sick from bacteria in their navels......bled quite a bit myself with that one, as it ripped the hide off my knuckle which still frosts easy in these slow rich folks melts........and now I know Sarah Palin and now you know the other Sarah Palin.

She is a good girl at heart in not really trying to kill me and came tonight when I pulled on her rope and she let me rub her head. I never would have figured this from her as she has always been a tame little heifer, but in birthing you never know what gets a woman going.

You also now know more information on beef cattle than most people ever will. I actually like this stuff as it must be in my Abraham of the Bible herder genetics..........just much more fun to have them drop a calf and never have to touch them.......especially when it is 60 degrees, the sun is shining, you can smell the new grass, the butterflies are fluttering around and all just seems right with the world.

Well off to check Palin and deal with the other babies.............maybe sometimes you don't need Peyton Manning to rub some dirt on it to make it feel better.........a cowboy just rubs a cow on it and then you get worse hurts so your hurt knee don't seem so bad.

My heroes have never been cowboys.

agtG