My dearest children, I want to apologize in TL was checking my "junk mail" folder and found a few of your correspondences which I read this evening after coming in and tending to the sick.
I honestly do not know what to do with you children sometimes, because I hear from gifted composers, attentive sons honoring their Moms and daughters with COPD and requesting prayers, and in all of your situations you are so generous to me in thanking me and being so kind in who you are.
I am at this moment stunned as David in the Psalms in hearing God in all of you and calling from my Spirit, "What am I that any of you are mindful of me, or what have I ever done to deserve even your thoughts?"
All of you are so gifted and God is speaking to you and through you. You leave me without words in the marvel of each of you. I am honored to meet each of you and to know you. God created each of you for your place here and I view each of you so much more important that I could ever be.
I have walked where each of you are. I know your questions. I know how you feel. I know what it is like to look for answers and have the questions and no one is there to answer them. For God's reasons, He picked someone as undeserving and worthless as myself to show Himself strong through. It is God Who is the One doing the wonders here and not me. He is given all credit, because there have been so many times in my past I have read something the Holy Ghost Inspired years later and not remembered what it was in it was something I had been move to write and sat there thinking this was really good.
At this point in what God is working through me, I was pondering today by the Holy Ghost how He has made me into a Spiritual machine of sorts in I constantly am listening to God and in the process of being the conduit for the energies He surges through me. I would that I was a Daniel, a Job, a Jeremiah a Jesus to be better at what God requires. I do know in His teaching that He has done a great deal of refining me now and this blog has helped in it makes me listen keenly. Even the donation thing and the misery thing...even the evil which is sent at me.....all of it makes me push harder for St. Paul's one more revelation and I have an inner glow radiating in me.
I will tell you part of my life in something that hopefully no one will ever make a like mistake in anguish. I fell in love very young at age 12. The Holy Ghost informed me that this was not the love for me. I could not fathom what one does with that and resisted as how would one turn off love, so that battle waged within me in misery.
I had the blessing then to be able to summon the Holy Ghost at will. It was a delight, but I regretted it in ways as I was being worked very hard in my teenage years, and I needed sleep, but the Holy Ghost entering me was euphoric and I could not literally go to sleep for an hour in most times.
One night in my love misery, I told the Holy Ghost I would not need His comfort if He simply gave me that person. In an instant He was gone, and I had never felt so empty in all my life. I had always thought people hated me, but what I was picking up was the tear in people's souls in being born in most never recover from that shock and are so empty inside.
I had that emptiness for years in I began to think God hated me. He was rough on me and life was not good. Jesus carried me through, and yet I indulged in sin, even when the Holy Ghost returned in a very trying time and I felt God in me, like an imprint in a bar of soap and I knew how evil I was.
I was though sinning and sinning in trying to survive.
What was easy for me, became intensely hard, and I had to work harder to receive anything Spiritual. I had for years this Davidic need to show mercy to others and no outlet. God never left me and I never left God. God simply just moved away from the Spiritual cripple I was to make me crawl and get up and walk.
I know what makes the worst sinners tick, because while I never committed those sins, I was at that edge and understood what is in them and what is missing. All Jesus brought me through has brought me to this place where I can tend people who feel God does not have the relationship they think He has with me.
None of this is exclusive my children. God will do for you what He does for me, and if you paid more attention, you would know He is talking through you, working through you and He is in you. The correspondence in your notes is God speaking through you. You heard His Voice and you are responding. You are here in the parables here, because you recognize the Light here. I am so very proud of you, each of you and I admire each of you.
That is not some Rush Limbaugh market share line, but I marvel over each of you as this is not some competition in what Lame Cherry is and who you think you are, but this is family in Spirit and each of you is fulfilling the direct purpose you agreed to with the Father, before you came here.
Sometimes sickness is suffered as it is the way God refines the Spirit of Him in you. Sometimes when we think a parent is not listening, God is and He is always working through a children's love. Sometimes we do not recognize how accomplished we are in composing, so that someone else can wonder at your accomplishment in being a child of God in an artistic waste where only the minions of satan rule the gulag.
You are lights each of you and God is the Light in you. All of you interconnect. Terry wonders of things and Jeff wondered of that in preparing that answer of God in me. There is a verse the Holy Ghost gives me in it is about Jesus returning and they wonder of the sound of singing, and it is Jesus singing for His children as He is so very proud of each of them. I feel that for all of you in I want so very much for each of you to realize how special you are and to be pleased in who you are as God is.
I am not afforded the time to appreciate each of you as what goes on here is a battle and I have to warn the condemned as that is part of my vocation to present evidence. My children should know that even writing the above in being open with you, that there are those reading that and smugly taking it all in and thinking it is weakness to exploit and they will try as they always do.
I am though a servant to all as Jesus taught the higher the position, the more responsibility which is placed on you and more is required of you. I must serve all with every ounce of strength and not question God in His workings as He always knows best.
I miss having the "focus" of a gift of being able to reach out and touch people. It is not that I have lost it, but what God does now through me has so much of my focus upon Him and TL, that in those walls I have no time to develop in the things I think are important, but God knows better in what He is refining in ability.
I was thinking of that the other night in bed in I used to open myself to the Holy Ghost and ask questions and search Him and I would know things. I was smug like a kid with candy drawer as the Holy Ghost had me realize by contact, that I would on the periphery pick up things I probably was not supposed to know.
I do think of that in the night I snuck up on the Holy Ghost and Joan of Arc talking about me, and I got the impression I surprised them in the ability, but one can not surprise God. I do know the Holy Ghost wiped that conversation and I have not surprised anyone since. I am like all of you in not getting what we think we want.
I am going to pray now for one of our family who asked for a prayer in the devil has afflicted her with Chronic Pulmonary Obstructive Disease. My dad suffered from a like condition so I know exactly what she is dealing with. I also ask if you read on to read this prayer for her.
Almighty Father, behold from Your Heaven Your daughter who is afflicted in the world by what satan brought to it. She is not ready to come to You yet, and You know all of this as You love her in Your Care. In the Name of Yahweh, the Lord's Name we are taught to call upon, I commit Your daughter into Your Care. I receive for her the healing she will receive in the Name of Christ. In the Name of Jesus, her sins are forgiven her and she is free in body, mind, heart and Spirit from the attacks of satan.
Hold her in Your Love Father and Holy Ghost Comfort her. Your Love is perfected in weakness and we as Your children are weak in constant need of You. We believe there is nothing You can not accomplish Father and pray Your Will to be done. We pray for Your Wisdom for Us to know Your will and submit ourselves to You.
God be Merciful to her and God's Grace be upon her. Father show her the marvel she is and all You are working out through her even now as one of Your children of Light.
Send forth Your Holy Angels to minster to all she needs and I pray, Jesus, Master, Son of David, Son of God, have Mercy upon her. I commit her into Your hands. I commit her to always know that You love her and always abide with her.
The Peace which passes understanding be with her, upon her, to keep her heart in the True Faith to Life everlasting, in the Name of the Father, the Lord Christ and the Holy Ghost. God be with you, Amen and Amen
Thank God for each of you and always remember that we are all in this together, we are family and you are loved for you and cared about for you. You are seen here for the creation you are inside, that person who God knows and will be with Him for always.
I may not know what to do with all of your kindness, but I do know each of you is a treasure in words and a treasure you.
The Holy Ghost gave me recently Jesus saying, Foxes have holes, birds have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay His head. I am fortunate in I have each of you to rest upon, and each of you must know that I do concern myself over each of you, and me being such a nobody, that God is so much more and He loves each of you in overflowing Care without end.
Each of you makes this easier in your being there, but I will try hard not to be a burden to you as you have so much to deal with, but I will do my best to be there for you.
God bless you.
agtG
