As another Lame Cherry exclusive in matter anti matter.......
I like Sir Samuel Baker. I realize that most of you will not know what a Sir Samuel is, but by the same token what is that, as in not knowing what something is, does not discredit it's being.
Sir Samuel was a mocked man really in literature of the 20th century, as I know he had a rifle named Baby which was a 2 gauge cannon that give him a concussion each time he shot it, and he might have been the boy who was eating ass steaks off of Africans, broiled for him by other Africans, but with all of that, I like Sir Samuel as he was like Pitt, Standish and La Salle in liking the idea of planting people like tobacco into wild locations and seeing no real difference in them.
Sir Sam was a hunter wanderer, like a number of English chaps were who had some cash on hand. You remember Stanley and Livingston in Africa, Sir Sam was lurking about those parts too, as these men penetrated the most awful savage areas and just thrived in them where entire armies died.
The subject of this is Sir Sam in Sri Lanka, when it was Ceylon back in the day of 1845. See Sir Sam got jungle fever and it damned near killed him, but he came to this foul dirty mountain retreat called Newera Ellia and he regained his health.
Ceylon was like most things British in the British just got too much land at the same time and not enough Americans to develop it, so it would thrive under some Governor, and then just languish under others who thought riding ponies and sipping sundowners was a better way to earn a paycheck from the crown.
Sir Sam though decided he was going to make the Garden of Gloucester or something in the mountains of Ceylon as he was going to make Ceylon his whole hunting paradise. I like that kind of idea as it is the kind of idea I would like.
So for livestock Sir Samuel got 11 Englishmen and women, which included a prize of a blacksmith and a baillif. Yes he bought all kinds of harness things to put them to work like farming tools, so that was very well planned of him, and he also brought a Bull Durham Hereford along with cow, and 3 ram sheeps of different breeds of liecester, southdown and cotswold, including a prize thoroughbred bred from Charles XII, along with a pack of fox hounds and one greyhound named Bran.
This is of interest to me, as Sir Sam was prepared in being wise enough to know that animals die and it is a good thing to take along a wide variety of animals to figure out what will live or not, including people.
The problem in this was a Mr. Perkes, who lost an eye to a horse kicking him so he wore a black patch. There was no need for satan in Ceylon as Mr. Perkes was the entire demonic horde. Being sent back to fetch up an imported carriage and Australian horses, he got drunk, drove the carriage over wild roads, and dumped it into an 80 foot gully.
Perkes was not injured of course, but the horses died and the carriage looked like America after two terms with Obama.
Perkes was not done yet, as Sir Sam sent a crew to go fetch the carriage in the gully. Perkes then decided to ride the accompanying elephant in the heat, then stopped to get drunk, and then ran the elephant some more to death.
I personally would have hung the son of a bitch, along with the other settler who was wheeling him around drunk in a cart, but then I was not Sir Samuel. No Sir Sam found Perkes talents was in f*cking the maidservants which I suppose is a trade in itself, and when not drunk Perkes was honest and industrious.
I guess he was an industrious sex machine who gave an honest screw.
In any case, the immigrant stock soon was in mutiny, so Sir Sam threw two of them into jail which got the others into harness or the bamboo bed chamber for some real work.
I did like Sir Sam's farming methods though in he had a Lord Ducie cultivator, which was pulled by an elephant. A skimmer pulled by another elephant and a wood plough drawn by 8 ox. It must have been something to see elephants farming in a sort of Garden of Eden thing.
People forget what it took to colonize as all they see are the dead Indians or the white people sitting in mansions, but the record of Sir Sam was typical.
To add to the dead shorthorn cow which contracted something on the way to his settlement, and the two dead horses...........the stags and pigs ate most of the oats crop. Grubs ate the potatoes which were planted.
Upon planting clover, the Southdown ram over ate and died. The other two rams having such great fodder, decided to fight for control of Ceylon and the Leicster killed the Cotswold.
The bull was half starved due to lack of feed, and 26 bullocks died in a few days from some pandemic as well as 5 more Australian horses.
Of the human stock, the baillif's wife was buried from illness. She was a particular loss in being a fine farmer's wife, probably as valuable as the elephant which Perkes ran to death....perhaps as the pacaderms were very gifted when trained well in moving huge trees for bridges or doing the work of several harness animals in planting crops.
In planting crops, Ceylon has no magnesium nor lime, meaning it is an acid soil, so wheat would not grow and no Indian corn crops would produce anything.
Peas, beans, cabbages, turnips though would grow in the soils, and potatoes too providing grubs did not eat them.
Sir Sam got his settlement, but all the two legged stock broke off on their own. It was a good living in one immigrant earned 300 pounds which was a tremendous sum in three years worth of work.
In the great Sir Sam garden, the one ram produced a fine flock of offspring as did the bull mated with native cows. The gardens grew and even a nice beer garden sprang up as the heights were found to make good beer.
There was even a Church built.
This is the work which thousands of colonials accomplished in French, Spanish and English bloodlines. They risked a great deal for a chance at life and in most cases they died. The survivors though produced a great asset to the world, and the cartel has been stealing it back ever since without prosecution.
You do know that God was a colonial, as that is what the Garden of Eden was. Probably why the competitor messiah removes all traces of the real One from Christmas trees and detests colonialism as all feudalists do.
You learned something again today in an enjoyable lesson, what not eh.
It would be nice if the people with money would learn to donate that 350,000 dollars for my own garden experiment.
agtG
