Zelda

As another Lame Cherry exclusive.


I am not a spokesmodel for Government Motors nor am I am paid for this. This is just some LC observations in "terrorists can not be wrong".

I state that in you will notice that terrorists drive Toyota pick ups. The same Toyotas show up in the bwana jungles of Africa and run forever in the middle of nowhere.

While I am not a terrorist, I do have some observations and experience with Zelda cars. A Zelda is a car which TL named and it had like 212,000 miles on her when I got her for 3400 dollars, plus a not so great Buick Century  trade in for 500 dollar junk fee.
The Buick later was sold for 1500 dollars from the dealer, but that is typical.

I needed a car to go rescue TL as I had a pick up which would not make it there and God put Zelda in my path. Zelda is a Buick LaSabre. She came with a tow hitch which I missed by God's Grace or I never would have brought her home as that is a big no no on transmission problems on big mile cars in towing packages.

Zelda has air shocks that self inflate and she floats a little too much at 75 miles an hour in hard ass curves in Council Bluffs, which damned neared ran me off the road there, but that is Iowa, and Iowa puts roads through big cities, instead of around them, and has Nazi state troopers who are all police state intimidators.

Zelda flies in reality.  She has good start in first off the line, but lags in the second as she is a big car, but once she gets up to speed, she does 80 plus like a top. The speedometer runs up to 140. I have only done 95 I think on the interstate, and it was like we were cruising in a 20 mph zone in town.
That V 6 is pure clanking beauty, and if I drive her at 65 she gets 31 mpg and about that she runs at about 23 miles per gallon at 85.
She also looks like a cop menacing cop car which scares idiots on the highway to slow speeds.

TL and I ran into a liquor store gal who spotted Zelda and related, "That your car? I got a LaSabre. Was out at a concert, offroad, with foot deep mud, and that car ran through there like a 4 x 4."
Yes those LaSabres by Buick are pretty good in shitty ice, snow, mud and rain.

satan has tried to kill me numerous times in Zelda. Motorhomes trying to run me off the road to those tanker trucks in rain storms having white outs going around them, but thank God, Angels and Zelda, we had no DOA's.

She rides like a Mercedes really and is the poor man's autobahn vehicle. I never was a fan of GM products, but after Ford f*cked me over on a Ranger, and Mom tried a Buick, I had no hessitation in buying this high miles car, as while the 4 cylinder is a great engine, the 6 is the touring car, and Zelda eats miles and Minnesota drivers up and chits them out the exhaust with glee.
I dislike Minnesota drivers, because they are so KGB trained in that state to obey laws to the last mile per hour, that they will not get the hell out of the way. Even Kansas drivers know that they can go 5 over at least and Missouri will run 7, but that Minnesota training has them putzing along at speed limits that someone in Montana would flip them the bird on.

You get the same though from all east of the Mississippi drivers. They think that they are going fast until a local flies around them. When the speed limit is 75, that means you drive 83 miles an hour as nothing is worse than all those traffic bubbles stopping traffic.........Iowa state police is so money fine hungry though that they like putting everyone in danger driving through that shit hole state.
Florida drivers speed, so do Illinois drivers, and those Texans just fly......until they run into me, and then I fly by them. Then again when in Iowa I like nothing better than seeing an Illinois driver speeding as it gives the highway dicks something to feed on.

This though is a testimonial for LaSabers named Zelda. She is a good car, a real Aunt Jemima on the road. She is big, bossy and I swear she could make pancakes for breakfast as she holds you in her seats. I am quite fond of her for a car.....being a pick up kind of girl. I think that GM should just turn out LaSabres and just junk the rest. They are that good of vehicle for the heavy lifting and the lasting part. They are a good buy, even when too much money on the used lot, but are a sure sight better than the flaps my Brother was telling me about in having like 70,000 dollars in debt for cars, and only earning 28,000 dollars from the Flap Force USA.

I would love it if GM would make me a spokesmodel for the LaSabre in a big contract, as these cars are the Jeeps or Fords or terrorist Toyotas of past years. I like this Sedan, even if I always dreamed of having Mustang, and I do like the new Thunderbirds which Ford puts out, but my ass likes sitting in a car now that rides like a Rolls Royce.
Zelda has been very good to me. She is our courting car and will probably be in the shed for only special driving one day. She is a good girl that has never let me down. Last winter TL drove her in the worst winter weather of heavy snow, slippery roads and crappy traffic and by Holy Angels, we never had a let down or harm come near us.

Zelda was loaded down like TL's car on the trip the brier patch, and they were both hanging. It was good as high winds were bad, and the extra poundage kept them on the road better. This is the best of vehicles for people without money and not espousing to be terrorists in keeping you on the road to save your shoes from wearing out.

Zelda flies and I like that, even if I doubt I will be running plus 100 again in pavement driving. She is not a slalom car, but she does good in the flats and the long distance and that is what matters to me.....most of all she rides and does not fall apart.

I got to write on other things......so ta ta for now. Little English Anglo lingolia for those who like speaking like Anglo Saxons.






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