Sunday, February 19, 2017

Who knew Xerxes was a bad lay

As another Lame Cherry exclusive in matter anti matter.

It is not a secret that I am in poverty and so I collect Bibles as the junk store gives them away free, and I like looking at different translations and ponder why people throw away Bibles at the moment they are reminded, "Uncle Joe is at the Pearly Gates", so their first thought is plunder the silver coins, but throw out the Bibles.

It is our good fortune though that I came upon the America Bible Society, paperback 1974 version, which should be a sin as the paper in this was so cheap it tears and the owner had put marker tabs on each page and they were ripping I used a great deal of tape fixing this thing which I will probably never read again as it is Good News Bible of that Vatican nonsense.

Fortunate for you though, I read things that you will not, and have the modern translation of Esther in the Greek version, which holds the prayer of Esther that she prayed to God to save the Benjaminites, Levites and Judahites from Haman's plan to genocide them or holocaust them all.
Now I would think a prayer about saving a nation would be something like Daniel's prayer, but this is what the Benjaminite Esther prayed, and we know it is true, because the Greeks translated it being smart and the Vatican says it is true blue.

Anyway this is part of the prayer.

You know everything, Lord. You know that I hate the honor I received from these Gentiles. I detest the thought of having sex with any of these uncircumsized heathen.
But you know I have no choice. I hate the crown I have to wear as queen on official occasions. I never wear it unless I have to; it's as disgusting as last month's tampon (rag).

Who would have known that bad sex and dirty tampons were in the Bible, and that this all seems to boil down to Xerxes (the Persian, therefore he was Semite not Gentile) was a bad lay in bed and that being queen of Persia was like wearing an old tampon.

It sort of explains why Esther was on the outs with Xerxes, in not wanting her around for a month, as being with Queen Esther apparently was about as cuddly as mounting a cactus crossed with a cat.

Of course there is a sound reason why Christian Churches do not have this nonsense in the real Bible is because the Vatican did not want their Jezebels going off and getting laid by foreigners or trying to be uppity and be Queen or Popette.
Protestant Christians have great sex according to all the research data.

It simply was amusing to me in this passage and I thought I would share it, as the rest of the translation is close to the Book of Esther, but then again the Bible translation did not come out of two world empires at odds with the Mideast Persians and Parthians.

I guess though the closing of the prayer in worshiping God was the only thing that brought her pleasure, was a sort of message that Roman and Greek women were all married to bad lays,so they had better content themselves with praying to God to get off on.

Always a moral to a story in the story when an empire writes books, and a wonderful religious undertone in when the sex is bad, sing a few songs to the Vatican and that will make it all better.

Nuff Said