Sunday, March 12, 2017

Cornelius Crane Chase

As another Lame Cherry exclusive in matter anti matter.

Most of you have no idea who Cornelius Crane Chase, but are aware of the name Chevy Chase if you are of the Baby Boomer bunch, and after that you have your Shia LaBeouf creatures to cringe over too.

For those who knew Chevy Chase, they never liked him. The forensic psychological reason is not that he was famous who never grew out of the 2 years being an asshole, but because Cornelius Chase just never fit in with his accomplished parents or step parents, so he resorted to being a smart ass in school, because at home his Mum whose father was a Naval Officer, was not going to let the smart ass kid be a bully.
The problem is, that is all Chevy Chase ever was.

For a big man, meaning tall, he had the advantage of being imposing, so most people were scared of him. Chase though like all bullies made certain that he only picked on people who were not going to kick his ass. That way Chase could be tough to hide the entire terror he had inside of him, because he never could measure up to the successful people who were the adults in his life. His grandfather for one, was Admiral Halsey's Chief of Staff, and Chevy Chase used bullying instead of hard work.

If you read on Gawker there is an entire series about Chevy Chase the asshole, in how everyone hates him deservedly. I knew a man like this when I was growing up. He was big, he was a bully and he was a prick to almost everyone. Now like Chase, he is an old man, broken down and no one has forgotten him as a younger man, and he has nothing.

This quote is typical in connection with Chevy Chase in Will Ferrell is not known for being the nicest asshole either, but Tim Meadows gave the best biography of Cornelius Chase's life, in it is like a slow motion car wreck happening over and over again.
Chevy Chase is a scared child inside, and the way you keep people from hurting you, is to find something they are self conscious about, and then keep digging at it, because the bully strikes the most vulnerable in a room, as those are the humans with hearts they most want to be like.

Who He Pissed Off: Will Ferrell and the cast of the 1996-1997 season
How: "When he was here," Tim Meadows says in Live from New York, "it was like just watching a car accident over and over again just watching him deal with people." According to Will Ferrell, Chase was "a little snobbish" and prone to screaming at people; at that show's first meeting he told a female writer "maybe you could give me a handjob later," reportedly mortifying Lorne. "I don't know if he was on something or what," Ferrell said. "If he took too many back pills that day or something."

I honestly never considered Chevy Chase talented for the roles which he was offered. He likes to note the roles he turned down, but if you think of Chevy Chase instead of Tom Hanks in Forrest Gump, or Chase instead of Tim Matheson in Animal House or his being Bill Murray's character in Ghostbusters, you know those films would have tanked. Chevy Chase was like his "good friend" Robin Williams in finding ways to make dark films when all fans wanted was to go to a movie and laugh.
Yes the great secret to Bill Murray's career is he gave people a laugh, because that is what they wanted, and Chevy Chase found ways to make people regret going to the movie.

I turned down Forrest Gump (1994), I turned down American Gigolo (1980), there are many films - like Ghostbusters (1984) - that I turned down... the first one I did was Foul Play (1978) with Goldie Hawn, but I turned down Animal House (1978) - I turned that down. So all those I regret only because they made huge amounts of money and I would be very wealthy, but I don't regret working with Goldie, I don't regret the projects that I did do.

The end of this for the 70 something year old Cornelius Chase is no one came to honor him in a roast. None of the people he worked with as peers. Those who showed up lampooned him with the same venom Chase had sown his entire existence. Fittingly he went back to his hotel room and bawled, so his little mutt had to lick his wounds and tell him, he was not the bastard he is.

Admitted in an interview that the comments and jokes directed at him during his 2002 roast legitimately hurt him. As soon as the roast was over, he returned to his hotel room and was so depressed about it, he was sobbing most of the night and had to be consoled by roast master Paul Schäfer. Chase's roast was noted by fans and critics alike for being particularly mean-spirited, even by the standards of a roast.

You think of Scrooge in having a change of heart, but that never happens with a Chevy Chase. He is simply a fat, old, no talent creature, who never deserved anything handed to him. He knows it and wants to punish the world before it discovers the little boy who knew he never measured up.

It is always Keep Calm and Chevy On, because the liar never does anything in life to make amends and lies to itself it will never die and have to face a Judgment, where being a smart ass to Jesus, gets you the condemnation a bully has always sought, in knowing they deserved it.