As another Lame Cherry exclusive in matter anti matter.
I just do not know what to make of this, as I received this package in the post and this cover letter.
My Dear Colonial
As a reader of your most informative writing, I have been not amused in the
reality that I am one of your deadbeat donors.
Therefore to rectify this obtuse sistuation, please find enclosed something
of value, as I am not permitted to handle money.
This should fetch a ripping good sum at online auction.
Liz M
I mean it all looked official in coming from MI6 headquarters, and I can understand the Queen being an avid reader of this ripping good blog, as I am sure she is a fan of important things like quadroons, women bending at the waist and chickens, as the Queen certainly likes chickens as who would not like chickens.
It was the contents that has me wondering as what am I going to do with a urine soaked mattress, mattress pad and sheets, with official Russian seals on them and coming from a hotel in Moscow?
I mean I like the Queen and all, but what kind of a donation are pee stained things out of Moscow? And who on earth would buy something like this on Ebay? Seriously, I see mattresses in town here piled up like the Trump Wall after the Mexicans move out. Them Mexicans must be worse than cats in leaving odors on the bedding, as cats wash out, but them Mexicans just get piled in the street for the dump.
I do not know the etiquette, but do I sound ungrateful in thinking the Queen has a whole tower of jewels. Even if she can't handle cash, she has to have something of value. It's not like she gave pee blankets to that quadroon Harry married. I am sure she got some gold cups or something. Hell the Queen must have some ermine furs or the like, that would fetch a ripping good price on Ebay, maybe not as much as Melania Trump banished furs from the White House, but I am sure some homosexual would like to roll around in the Queen's fur to see how soft it is.
I mean it all looked so promising. MI6 package, like Christopher Steele gave to John the hero McCain, and Queen Liz in a personal note in something she was cleaning out of headquarters, and when I open it, just reeks like some whore peed on this stuff.
I know I should not mention this as it would bring down the price, but I swear I can scent Negroid on these sheets. I know that sounds racist, but Blacks got this smell to them, and that is why Joe Biden noted that Obama most times smelled like a clean Negro. Michelle though noted that Obama stank most days, so on that authority, I think it is ok to admit that these sheets smell like whores pissed on them after some Blacks slept on them.
I know that all sounds farfetched, because damn it, it is not like you got lots of Afroids sleeping around Moscow. Probably got more of a chance of finding a sober Russian than a Black in Moscow.
Still all the same, as I got to looking at these things the Queen sent me in the light of sunshine, I swear that one pee stain looked just like Donald Trump. Go figure eh? But again all the same, who is going to want to buy a pee face Trump? It is not like Potato Chip Elvis or the Virgin Mary Pancake.
So without real donation, I just wonder what the Queen was getting at in sending me this stuff. Maybe Charles had an accident and he is getting old after all. And the stain that looks like Trump, well maybe Camilla was reading The Sun, and noticed Charles was sprouting a gusher and shoved a paper under him to soak things up, and with Mr. Trump's face all over the press, it might have transferred.
As far as the official Russian tags, I ain't got that figured out yet, but with that dossier stuff, pasting official stamps on everything, maybe that is what they do in England is put Russian tags on everything. Hell the Queen probably has one stamped on her butt as it is probably in vogue.
I post this in the hope that I do not sound appreciative, but when I have not accepted nice things people have offered me from pans, books, guns, knives etc... that somehow MI6 spying on my emails that I might like some pee stained things that look like Donald Trump. I should say that some of my wealthy readers would like them to produce huge six figure bids as they would like these collector's items.
I mean what would I write for the sale bill?
Hey, the Queen sent me some things with pee on them from MI6 headquarters, because she reads my fabulous blog and thought you people would really be interested in acquiring these fine collectables.
I figure that with the Queen's letter, I will get like 120 dollars, and Trump's face would be like worth 25 bucks more, as I said, it is not like he is Elvis.
Just keep waiting and hoping for the big donation, but what comes next, Kim Jong Un sending me some kind of memento from Singapore, because no one is allowed to handle money anymore.
agtG
