Do I know a fat joke..........
As another Lame Cherry exclusive in matter anti matter.
I thought I would share this with you as many want to know about my family and for the most part only the worthless culls appear here, as examples for others who have to deal with their own kindred.
This story is about my two cousins, girls, and in telling this you should know the one is rather high in government dealing with a certain problem group in American society. If you have read some of my caustic wit, that is what she is too.
The other is a nationally respected person that I can not divulge as it is too easy to connect the dots. The point of it is they are professionals who you would never believe this would come out of them.
So the first one is good at giving people shit, which if you are not local America you probably have no idea what I am talking about. In most cases it would leave people wide eyed, think of the lines from Dane Cook, Impractical Jokers or Wedding Crashers and my people are tame by comparison.
So she had been apparently doing this for some time with the second one, but my second cousin bided her time, until she got the first one in a van, chauferring a group of male relatives around the city.
It was at this point, the second one said calmly, "So, how is that vaginal discharge you have been having, with the dripping puss, that I prescribed antibiotics for, are you better?"
This was a really good shot as the first one told me this story, probably for comfort and I burst out laughing. If I had been there, I would have told the boys that her dance card had to be filled, but not to dance too close as they might catch something.
It would have been joyous and highly offensive, and everyone would have had a good laugh over it.
My brand of humor is a bit off in catching people off gaurd as is TL's, as when the first texted me awhile back, TL wrote, "New phone who dis?" She had no idea who we were in screwing with her. It was a nice learning curve moment as Lord God I have to be careful to not end up on the receiving end of things.
Yes we skewer each other with delight, and are too polite at times to deal with the assholes among us who should have been filleted as it would have been delicious.
Like the cancer Aunt in her putting on aires. I was not there, but when she insulted my cousin for drinking beer as she no longer does that, but guzzles bourbon like her drunken daughter, I would have said, "Auntie that is mighty pretensious of you, considering you used to shit in that outhouse over there and wipe your ass with Montegomery Ward catalogue pages".
Oh and I would have had a come back to shut her up, and her pompous fat ass daughter too which would have sent them storming away, as the gasp of silence spread across the open lawn of family, friends and neighbors would have learned again why you do not mess with the Cherry family.
.....and the correct comeback would have been, "What do you think stage four gives you the right to be an asshole and insult people?"
and when the daughter got her fatness going, the response would have been, "What did you learn that tough line in prison when they put you up on dope charges?"
Yes good times, if I had been there to protect the nice relatives who are too polite to say things, just as I am most of the time in figuring God will burn them like a slug on a hot day.
Nuff Said
agtG
