As another Lame Cherry exclusive in matter anti matter.
My brother was back about a month ago, and it got me to pondering things, as I do in the early morning doing chores, as the subject of the mother came up in her dying and all she was.
Like he won a cedar jewelry box as a child, and she took it, and he had asked for it back, but she had refused. Like he was growing raspberries at his house and she had visited him, and was horsing them down by the handful and he gave her hell for it, as he had wanted to get enough for jelly.......and of course she was mad at him over that.
When I was away in the metro visiting TL, that woman did not check my few cows, so one died in birth. She let my ducks and chickens get killed by a mink, as it was all leverage to get me back here.
There was something though which took place which always puzzled me, and it had to do with my being a rhubarb connoisseur. See not all rhubarb tastes the same. The varieties which prevail now are Valentine, which I think tastes watery, and Canada Red which is very good, but it is far too sweet.
What I was raised on was an old Gurney variety without any name, but it is unique in being sharp, a little tannin and it grows huge. It is unique as it quits when it is hot in summertime and disappears. It is partially red, and when taken care of will have elephant ear size leaves and stalks like bats. It also grows upright.
Unfortunately my beloved Uncle in caring for Gram's, buried it in cow compost, and the other Uncle did not bother, so the grass overtook it and it died out. I have one orginal "red" genus of it, which also almost died out, and that from a time when I had too much rhubarb.
In all cases, you simply can not kill rhubarb. Once established it just lives as it has roots like a oak. That is why when I was away, it puzzled the hell out of me, in some Valentine that my brother had given me, all died. I had one huge one that my sister dumped off here to get rid of it, and that died too. It was several locations and the plants all died.
I thought maybe that some bug had gotten into it, but no one else was talking about rhubarb extermination, it always puzzled me, as cold, heat or anything will not kill rhubarb.
That is why I believe the Holy Ghost began solving this for me, only after the old girl went tits up, because I would have raised holy hell about this one. See she made a remark to me one time, that she had gotten some bug spray and was busy spraying boxelder bugs. I did not pay much attention to it, as I could care less about bugs I just flick off me in winter. I started thinking though that in the autumn, they congregate in warm locations, like tree limbs, sides of buildings, sidewalks and rhubarb plants as they are dark colored.
You see where I am going with this now, in I am betting that ignorant, obstinate and fucked up mother of mine, was busy spraying for bugs, saw them congregated on my rhubarb plants and sprayed the hell out of them. Sure some of that spray is not harmful to pets, but what the hell would it do to an innocent rhubarb crown just sitting them.
Knowing her she soaked the shit out of them, and just took off, and as were her lying ass the past years......sorry in her religion being deceptive or just not telling things you knew, was not lying. I will bet though that she either deliberately killed my rhubarb or being shit for brains, killed it while nuking boxelder bugs.
That would be her style. Arrogantly going genocide on bugs, and then haivng killed my plants, and my mentioning it, she would sit there silent knowing what the hell went down, and not admit to it, as she would get her ass chewed by me. She would leave me perplexed over it as long as it saved her sorry ass from being exposed for being the idiot she was.
It is the only thing that made sense, as the only plants which survived, were plants behind the barn and on a stock dam. Areas she was too lazy ass to venture as it would mean checking cows, and she wanted them to die so it would pressure me to return.
As I said, in her warped, fucked up mind, she could kill stuff off by not checking, but be innocent of the abuse. She could lie to me by not telling me as long as it did not get her caught.
So as Sherlock Holmes concludes, this has to be what happened as it is the only answer which makes any sense. This pisses me off, hurts me, and bothers me, as I spent several years trying to figure out what the hell happened. I am quite philia and phobic about my rhubarb as once it is gone, there are not other varieties which taste the same. In all of this, by God's Grace I did save the original red plants I had and have 5 growing which look remarkable, but to come that close to these plants being gone, unless isolated in some abandoned homestead somewhere dying out, is really upsetting.
It is of course why the Holy Ghost probably did not lead me to the answer until she was dead, as I probably would have had that as the breaking point, as the kind of betrayal she was constantly engaged in was most hurtful and violated all codes of what family should never do.
That though is what I believe took place, without inquiry into the matrix. How to be grateful that some lazy ass was a lazy ass, so she did not destroy years of my work like she did other times, is hard to factor in. I have had far too many of these revelations which are just hurtful since she died and I do not want them stopped as I will have the Truth as hiding in ignorance is not any bliss, especially since she was the disease which was killing things and not something natural I could deal with.
I mean, what the hell Maxwell, how damned much bug spray did she hose those poor plants down with, and then the stupid ass was so weak that she could not admit to her crimes, but just kept silent.
Yeah silent as hell, as I type this, I now recall that she quit spraying bugs after that year, when I returned. She knew damned certain she killed my stuff, and was not going to repeat the performance to get caught.
I honestly am thinking, as her grave has settled and I have to put in a foot of fill, to get a scoop of our cow lot shit, which is filled with weed seeds and dump that on there, and let the weeds grow and the shit head relatives who get paid to abuse the cemetery deal with them. as it would be a fitting reckoning for both of those hell bound souls.
I am really pissed about all of this.
There is always an answer in plain sight. The problem is that your prejudice in most instances of being honest and moral, will not allow you to think that someone else is that self serving to do stupid ass things and never own up to them.
Nuff Said
agtG
