Monday, March 1, 2021

Mitt Romney Knocked Unconscious - Mistaken for Joe Biden

 


My five year old grandchild suckered me in saying their babysitter would make
a good second wife in showing me a picture on their cell phone, and that is when
my Trump supporting grandchild clocked me with the phone.
I have set the FBI on them to see if they were at the Capitol on January 6th.




As another Lame Cherry exclusive in matter anti matter.

In a shocking turn of events, the United States averted a nuclear first strike launch against Maralago Florida when Senator Mitt Romney, visiting his grandchildren, was beaten by one of them who was a 5 year old Trump supporter.

In the confusion that followed, Romney, was handed the nuclear launch codes by the Pentagon, when First Lay Jill Biden happened to be driving by, mistook the prone Romney for her husband who had wandered off, picked up Romney, drove him back to the Green Screen White House, where the nuclear football was placed in Romney's hands.

Romney still loopy, began punching in numbers, thinking he was online donating to the Lincoln Project's "Rent a Kid for Pedos", when fortunately Nancy Pelosi had stopped by Green Screen White House and seeing the nuclear launch codes were in operation, rushed over, knocked Romney to the floor a second time and retrieved the football, stuffing it into a purple lace thong with flower prints, according to the Secret Service in trying to retrieve the football from the Speaker's panties.

Romney, who was still loopy, alerted all that he was not Joe Biden first when the Biden priest,  Padre Salvio Cortez Hernandez attempted to give Romney last rights, thinking he was Catholic Joe. Romney exclaimed,' Get away from me you child molester, as we Mormons marry our children and have lots of wives".

Once that cat was out of the bag, Jen Psaki, White House Press spokesgender noted that without the blood all over Romney's face,  that he did not look like Resident Biden at all.

Romney was then searched, where it was discovered who he was, as his Mormon, 50,000 Mile Club card identified him as Mitt Romney. He was then taken to the hospital, his brain shoved back into his skull, was stitched up and was soon home to his mansion, consulting with democrats in how to impeach Donald Trump as owner of MaraLago.

It is unknown which Romney grandchild beat their grandpa senseless, but it was thought the weapon was a Samsung smart phone, as they are known to be most durable devices.

With that, the Mormon god has delivered one of their own again and even if Republicans hate Willard Romney, one can be assured that the Catholic god in sending Jill Biden by at the right moment before the grandchild made Mitt into a #NeverRomney, certainly proves that gods who run religions that marry women off like stock cows and religions which run pedo operations, have a special attraction for Mitt Romney.

Oh, and not to be concerned, Joe Biden was not missing at all. He had simply gone to bed early for the day at 10:30 AM for a much needed rest in having tired himself out eating his morning oatmeal at 10:15 AM.


Once again, another Lame Cherry exclusive in matter anti matter.



Nuff Said




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