As another Lame Cherry exclusive in matter anti matter.
This is a movie review of another shitty movie that I happened upon,as I thought that Tommy Lee Jones would not betray me and that Benito Deltoro or whatever was not that bad in other things I saw him in passing........I was wrong. HUNTED is a real shitter movie.
It starts out with the 4000 year old Tommy Lee Jones in British Columbia as an eco terrorist, working for some anti group, setting wolves free from snares by chewing on pine needles and then bashing the heads in of legal Canadian trappers.
As a trapper, who knows how these eco greens have destroyed wildlife in North America with these Goddamn big predators that Teddy Roosevelt said should be exterminated, I was amused at how stupid the movie was..........I will explain trapping here a bit and snaring.
See there is a foothold snare which is just a trap with snare wire for jaws. What Jones was carrying around was a regular snare....now mind you this was Canada in winter, so the ground is frozen and he had a stake attached to this snare which had a triangle on the bottom. That is put there so even and elephant can not pull it out. Jones not knowing jack or shit was showing this like a wolf or anything could have ever pulled it out of the frozen ground. I can tell you that the snare cable would have broke, probably at the ferule (the clamp that secures the snare wire, long before that stake ever came out of the ground.)
That is more information than some Trapperman Dobbins forum would ever educate the public with as they play lord god.
So after that terrorism in Canada, this idiot Benito is in Serbia, cutting the head off a Serb, because we all know how evil Christians are and Muslims are the victims in the same left wing propaganda.
It is ok as Tommy Lee later finds Benito's lair in a tree and he has a Bible, a blonde woman and blonde child, who are all evil like trappers, soldiers and Christian which fills out the slander.
OK for the highlights, Tommy Lee Jones is a geezer as we all know, but he runs down a car, runs down a bike and runs down a train for realism. We all know 4000 year old fossils who can run 50 miles per hour.
Anyway Tommy is hunting Benito, in the moss jungle, the asphalt jungle and the concrete jungle where we get this slow motion fight scenes of this old guy and this European which was painful to watch in it was so slow. I was figuring Tommy was going to have a stroke or heart attack when he was running or break a hip as you could just hear those bones creaking and veins straining.
My favorite part was in the massive man hunt where now both without weapons, take off the entire afternoon where Tommy fashions a stone knife and Benito goes blacksmith and makes a steel knife out of a leaf spring from a junked car.
The cops must have all been on a donut break.
Speaking of cops, Connie Nielsen.......TL said she was in some oldie movie, she teased hotness, except when he was trying to be Helen Keller with shades. This is her and I had high hopes for her as she looks bone meal in blue jeans.
Here she is another movie in jeans. She wears the well......better than she holds a pistol.
I kept hoping for a shower scene of a slow strip, and Benito showing up, tries to copulate with her, she squirts soap in his eyes, Tommy Lee Jones bursts in, they burst through window, fall 12 stories and do another slow action fight scene, but the skirt was wasted in not saving this eco terror movie........where some people should be put down.......as the back of the DVD said.
Here is a photo of her being hot and wasted, as she is a fat porker now.......what a waste.
Anyway geezerTommy, beats up Canadians younger than him, gets beat up by Benito, smashed down a waterfall, snared, spiked in the thigh with a vampire stake, falls off a mountain........and then comes up slashing with his stone knife and Benito fillets him, but Tommy prevails in stabbing the young warrior in the heart to win.
The thing is Benito was writing letters for help, Tommy did nothing, and then Tommy adds to greenhouse gases in burning the pile of letters in the end........in Canada.
If they would have cut out the eco terrorism, the moss jungle, replaced Tommy with...like Brad Pitt when he was young.......and replaced Benito with just about anyone breathing........did the shower scene with Nielsen, the movie would not have been that bad. Hell if they would have just sped up the fight scenes in the frames it would have been better.
This was just a stupid left wing movie, woke, and even more stupid, a complete waste and I will never watch Tommy again or Benito in anything as I hate these woke shit actors. This was not the worst movie I have seen...Jessica Alba was a whore in that one and you got to have a real shitter movie if Jessica Alba is doing sex scenes and the movie sucks......but this is really a movie to avoid or one that you get the pellet rifle out and practice shooting at the DVD.
Oh one more thing, something I did not get as Tommy Lee was an expert in killing humans. Benito was killing humans, but they had this like five knife swipe process....like slash the throat, slash the two legs. slash up the body core and then cut the head off.
As the human body in Adrenalin carries about 45 seconds of energy after you are supposed to be dead, I was watching this and thinking, the time it is taking to cut the legs, not cut the body as people have body armor and moving back to the neck, some trained warrior is going to throat punch, eye gouge into the brain, before you get to the head cutting part. Meaning Tommy would be dead before his operating menu was complete.
There are points in combat and one is to kind of not get drenched in blood or guts as you can't really wash that off and no one likes sitting around in sticky blood crusting up as swarms of flies buzz you.....it gives away your position. Guts.....well you know what your toilet smells like. No one wants be around Big Foot's ass.
24 actually showed the correct method in a knife to the larynx, cutting the vocal cords, slicing quickly right left, if one is right handed, and as pulling out, booting the target backwards onto the ground to get distance. Nothing freezes people like a knife blade to the throat. It why predators go for the throat as it is the ground zero fear point in the brain.
Anyway, 24 kept things tidy so Kieffer Sutherland did not get a blood bath which is the idea as greased pigs and blood baths make things slipper which is not what you want to be in combat as other targets will appear.
Hollywood should hire me as a technical expert. I will not work on Alec Baldwin movies though as I do not want to get shot by empty guns with no fingers on the trigger.
That about sums up the movie review in another Lame Cherry exclusive in matter anti matter. That is allot of work for a dollar.
Nuff Said
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