As a friend of Tom Daschle's I would like to express a few thoughts concerning his current saga which I would like to make into a movie called, Fade to Daschle.Never since Obama has such a mediocre personage equal to your fellow South Dakotan, Tim Johnson, ever found his butt in a seat of power for such a cheap price. George Mitchell gets Disney and you poor Tom had to grovel for pill popping companies as the Clinton's showed you the door.
Not intelligent my friend Tom, you didn't take Hillary Clinton's hysterical laughter in rebuffing you as she slammed the door as a hint, no Tom, you had to go join the black guy sent to humiliate the Clintons, and now Hillary Clinton has cut your balls off as only a good Pennsylvania girl could.
Tom you just never knew your station in life. You got to empty the piss pots, look in the window at that party, but you only were the prostitute good enough for Chicago clientele. You never got to bounce on the bed with the Rockefellers.
As you dumped your first frumpy wife Tom for a Kansas hottie, I have a few things to say about that too my friend. Linda the beauty queen with a grip like she has been pulling on a Holstein bag her entire life married you like Hillary Clinton did Bill Clinton in sticking with him, as he was going places.
The problem is now Tim, I mean Tom, as you are the mental twin of Tim Johnson your South Dakota soul mate of mediocre, that Linda is late 40's and is looking at you for the fade to Daschle you are.
Linda doesn't have allot of good years left to pedal what she has on the market. Legally in Biblical Law Tom, you are the reprehensible jerk who dumped in his old wife for the hot stuff model which God detests.
That contract is called adultery Tom and I feel it is my duty to save Linda from this Scarlet Letter.
So Tom, I think I will be asking Linda out on a date. Nothing fancy, just me throwing a loop on her, taking her to bathtub and washing off that whore paint you got her doctored up in.
Tom, how can you let a woman that hot have her cheeks painted up like she was rubbing them on a Kansas red barn since birth.
That dress, looks like something a milkmaid would wear in Hawaii Kansas. Just ain't good pardner to be having a woman tarted and gussied up like that.
I don't know if her earrings came off of the Christmas lights in Aberdeen, but goodness, that woman has just sold herself short in the way you let her dress.
That is problem Tom in this. Linda wanted a girly guy to boss around and she got you with your pink panties. So I'll probably have to spank her to give her some male discipline as she has been thrilless for the past decades putting up with you.
Tom them Kansas plains women are tough prairie birds. You can't let them dust you like a prairie chicken. You got to get their attention beyond promises of power and money, because in the end all you end up with is a scowling old bird who hates you as much as she hates being in South Dakota.
I know she doesn't let you come to South Dakota Tom, but on our date, I figure I will take her ice fishing and she can clean the walleyes. I might let her cook them up, but in her state she would probably just take it out on those fish and burn them as that poor woman has been selling herself for years and is only used to brothel cooking.
I realize this is allot to tell you Tom, but it is for your own good as I doubt Linda is going to stick around with a fader like you.
You then can go back to Brookings and let your first wife beat on you for awhile, maybe get a real honest job maybe milking cows with the Mexicans you imported and earn an real dollar for the first time in your life.
Or maybe you can check on Peggy Noonan, as I hear her Obama blush is wearing off and she is on the market. No cuddlin' though Tom as no more adultery for you as I couldn't even bring myself to date an Obama woman.
Think that is about it now, you are a pariah in Washington, a national failure, an international joke and all those pharmaceutical companies you whored for just found out they spent allot of cash on the b*tch who took the money and run.
You may now fade to Daschle.
agtG
Oh and Tom, have Linda handle the date arrangements as it will give her a thrill in attempting to please a Gentleman. Make sure she brings your Visa card as they are acceptable everywhere and I hear Cabelas opened up a new store in South Dakota and we need get Linda in some camo.
