I probably should preface this in I love the Great Plains and surrounding territories, but honestly from Texas to Saskatchewan from Wisconsin to Montana, those good hearted rather stoic people are the biggest bunch of nincompoops, to quote their mixed Germania ancestry, in the world.Take for example little Ashley Biden, laying on a dike in Fargo, no not a woman with an extra man gene dyke, but the kind which were so important in New Orleans, but have not even been burped at by the national media, because it happened in fly over North Dakota.
Or as the locals would say, "Fargo doncha know". For a little history in this Obama voter, Wellstone voter, Daschle voter, Hagel voter, Feingold voter tale of nincompoops, one has to realize the people they are dealing with on the northern plains.
Into Canada, one has the Canucks which are an English breed with, Russian Germans and various other good natured souls. North Dakota has the Norwegians. South Dakota the Germans, Minnesota the Swedes, Montana has the Texicans who pushed cattle north and Nebraska has dolts who were too stupid to move to Oregon and Wisconsin has all of the above too lazy to move west so they just settled for farming around tree stumps.
They are being a bastardized race now as Californians move in along with other trash, which one in listening to the locals there will be cussing about those "damn liberals" voting Democratic, but for the most part these people are honest, one can count on them to save your butt if it costs them their lives and they take a whole lot of punishment and abuse with a shrug.
Those are the people of the plains.
That is why they are being written about in this blog as they honestly think they are quite bright, and most of the time they are, but when they get something in their heads, you just can't educate it out of them.
The feature of this blog is a Phud from Fargo, North Dakota. Phuds are doctors PHD's who no one in that part of the country understands, because no normal person would go to college 7 years when live was out there to be lived.
In any case this Phud was along the Red River in Fargo as I was watching the old dudder complain about the rising river, flood waters and complimenting hisself for 30 years on the river and learning something new every year in how to deal with the flood.
His one bit of Fargo wisdom though was, "I'm not mad at the city any more".
I frowned at that one, because I was wondering what the city of Fargo had anything to be mad about at in a flood.
I mean did Fargo force this Phud to buy the house he is living in?
Did Fargo mandate by Obama order that Phud had to live along that river and nowhere else in the world?
Did mean old Fargo chain this Phud to his house and sentence him to life in a quarter million dollar home?
Heck no Ole, Fargo didn't do one thing, but keep this dolt in a job and probably from drowning for 30 years while he stood around expecting to be saved.
If you ask a local of the plains what they think about flooding, they will respond, "How damn stupid do you got to be to build a house in a flood plain".
That pretty well sums up the entire logic and wisdom of the locals. Why on earth build a city or your home in an area where you know it is going to flood. That is dense, stupid, inept and pure Obama voter.
I know of two stories of locals in that area in other towns who amuse me in their plains attitude. One lives in a city which floods quite regular. His solution was to build his house on a 10 foot high hill he created. It looks rather lordly his house sitting on a hill surrounded by all these other dweebs, but when floods come every year he just sits on is little lot of a hill and isn't bothered in the least.
My favorite was the guy who decided to handle the situation himself and built his own dike and drainage. It worked so well that it literally flooded the town he lived on the outskirts of.
The towns people though were not so amused and ripped his dike out.
There are all sorts of goofy and delightful people in that area of the world who don't give a care about regulations. They just do things. I knew of a very strange fellow who got quite wild when he got drunk. He at one time didn't like a river running crooked through his property so he dug a new channel to suit himself.
If a host of government agencies had found out what this crank was up to, he would have been in jail. The locals just puzzled over the guy in silence and judged him strange and that was that.
The point in all of this is the wonderment in how a Phud could sit there and blame Fargo for his being an idiot.
For that matter, Fargo and the cities of the Red River of the north are all idiots too. Floods are something which are common. The answer to the problem is to build a dike so you don't have to build sandbag dikes that are a major Chinese labor investment without the Chinese.
Some cities in that region like Rapid City, in the beautiful Black Hills of South Dakota (note to South Dakota, those black spruce covered hills need to be burnt off, lumbered and managed as they are neither beautiful nor inviting.), when they had a flood, due to the weather service seeding clouds, the dolts of the Black Hills simply passed a law saying no one could build house or business where the canyons washed in a flood.
Pretty much settled the flood issue for those people and Fargo doncha know could settle it too if they had any brain activity going on.
None of this is anything new. Libby Custer wrote of the same flooding on the Missouri at Bismark in 1876. Teddy Roosevelt wrote of the Little Missouri flooding and ice jams. It has been over 150 years people have witnessed what is going on there, so perhaps they should not be such Dorgan and Conrad liberal Nort Dakota (yes that is correct pronunciation) voters and actually fix the problem with some liberal use of payloaders.
It is pretty simple really. Build dikes and where you can not build dikes you jack houses up and put them on 10 feet high hills. The river can rise, the river can flood and farmers can drain all of those wetlands and those golf courses and rich city people will not flood out. (Yes we are not supposed to notice it was rich farmers and small communities draining duck sloughs which feed aquifers and it is the rich people who live along rivers and play on golf courses as the real reason this is a story in floods, but self inflated problems by greed and pompous natures are not supposed to be noticed.)
In any event, send Ashley Biden out to lay on the dike and pose for some pictures as her community service for being a naughty dope head. Fargo people will probably like that as not a whole lot is going on until fishing season opens.......not that Fargo people really fish, but they listen to the people in Minnesota fishing them walleyes and that is about all the entertainment they have until the 4th of July.
It won't solve any problems, but it seems North Dakota doesn't want it's problems solved no more than any of these other plains states. They just want to get by, be sloven, have something to complain about, feel good about doing something and then discuss how much the Vikings will play like Viqueens again this season.
As I have about insulted the people of the plains enough in pointing out the facts, I will close. Do not worry though as this blog is in no danger from a North Dakota blacklash of Obama voters, because they are honest people who would say, "Ya know that Lame Cherry is sure a dick pointin' all that out, but ya know it is all true.
Maybe we should build us a dike".
Who knows maybe I will be made an honorary North Dakotan, with my own Sakakawea coin posing in my beloved North Dakota, land of Teddy Roosevelt and Ree by the sign which reads:
North Dakota, no it is not the last place on earth, but you can see it from there.
Is Jeanine Noce still lost in that place, looking all sparkling yet. I would rather see her on the dike, or better yet I would rather be the dike, not that I'm a lesbian, but this blog has been mistaken as one several times while playing euchre and spades.
agtG
