I was contemplating death as of late a little more than what I normally pack around in the recesses of my heart and intellect and have concluded that too much of the conversation is fear and driven by sinners running from God's judgment and the Godless terrified of the destiny of death they have chosen on the other side.
I have had far too much death in my life. It's pyre mounts higher with each passing year in the people I once knew are beyond to a place I would go, but in duty I can not.
The first taste of death I had was at the age of 8 when my sister was killed by a drunk driver she was riding with. A wooden fence post was hit by the car and it splintered, came through the windshield and smashed the top of her head off.
The memories of that time as of today still. I remember the sickening sweet odor of Easter Lilies as hundreds of them were in the funeral home and Church as it was the week before Easter.
I dearly love lilies and have them scattered about my gardens, but to this day I detest the scent of white lilies and the sight of them is nothing I care to see in all their beauty for it reminds me too much of that time..........the sweet perfumed scent in smoke of my sisters things, her albums, the click of her stereo and that emptiness when one is gone from this plain.
She though of course is quite fine in heaven. She later appeared in a dream to my Mother who was distressed beyond grief and told her, "It is alright Mom. I am fine".
Too many of us now cling to life when it is nothing to be clung to. Instead we allow the media filled with Godless ilk terrify us into thinking death is a bad thing. This allows robber barons to pick our pockets in torturing us with treatments which are not treatments to cure, but tortures to prolong the agony of existence in this world.
No one is to commit suicide or to hasten their end for each moment here is a time to experience to come to the fullest we are to be, but the shear enslavement we have to this world is nothing but a fiction for the autobiography of Life Eternal we have written for us in Christ.
I was speaking to a veterinary this past summer about death as she deals with it constantly. I spoke to her the words of Billy Dixon, the infamous buffalo hunter and Cavalry Scout for the United States military in his describing laying in a buffalo wallow with a dying man.
He related the Truth of it in death is not a cruel torturer. Death when she comes is designed by God to be a comforting mistress. She wraps up the person in a warm blanket of serenity, calms the very soul and one simply drifts off to the valley of the shadow, and in Christ, emerges into the glorious Light.
She though by her expression was so vacuous of what I was saying could not in any way even comprehend the blessing and prose of God's workings. To see that void in a human's eyes in not understanding was more troubling to me than all the death I have seen.
I have been blessed in being on the rim of the valley of the shadow of death enough times that I know it for what it is and have learned to embrace it. From storm in looking for Angels in the rolling skies to being alone locked in the cell of no rescue in being resigned that the sickness will either kill in one's sleep or one will survive to the grey morning light there is always a calm serenity once one passes from the veil of life and surrenders in faith the process of death.
I have been withheld many additions in my life for the reason if I knew the other side that I would not come back once on that journey.
I know and aged Veteran who I never met. How that is only those who know such things will understand. In him I have found more life and serenity than in the city of New York, London and Paris combined. His eyes sparkling with a knowing light where his mind is journeying in solitude as he recognizes the soul of kindness in others. His would be the face that most would say is long overdue in passing, but in his heart the clock has not ticked that last beat and has wondrous days yet ahead as he fulfills his purpose in this land.
I feel calm in him and a soaring joy, the breath of the eagles wings on forever skies. It is a pity that the world can not see what I feel in this beautiful sight of who he is inside. Such resolute strength and courage, such a gentle man........such a hero beyond nation in the delight he is under the bushel that only those who have looked know the Light burning there.
I really believe I see often enough people who are dead long ago and still in this veil and do not know it yet. They function as spacetakers and have no stimulation nor longing for what is.
I can not comprehend children not caring for parents like that in letting them list away with only checking in by phone every few weeks when they are on the road somewhere.
I have on my desk a tin box with two children building a snowman. It had candy inside once, and meant so much to the Grandmother it was given to in her daughter and grandchildren long ago. I know this by the wear on it as she kept it for sewing or some other thing that would cause it to wear.
On the back is the Christmas note from those people she kept so many years.............who when she passed it was dumped into thrift shop where I picked it up and am stunned to this day that grandchildren would not have wanted such a thing to remember someone who loved them so dear.
I still have the bib overalls my Grandfather bought for me after a long search for them at 6 years old as I wanted pants just like he had. To this day I do not know where he found them, because we went to many stores, but one Christmas there they were.......and I still have those pants.
He always told me a story of the Dirty Thirties in pants could not be had for children. He sat down and wrote a letter to Sears in Chicago and told them he couldn't find clothes for his boys and he didn't know what to do.
Not long afterward, he received a package of 4 pants in the mail from Sears with the sales bill inside, trusting him he would pay for the pants, which he honestly did.
That is what is missing in this world in these times are people who know how to live life and those who know how to embrace death.
I have surrendered to God to whatever come what He wills whether martyrdom or continued suffering in the long battle as I intend fully to become the brightest of His lights for His glory. One more revelation, one more discovery to share, one more prophecy, one more moment of suffering, because death has no sting in the Victor Christ won for His.
The dying is easy in this life and thank God He made it so. The living is what is hard in the struggle for all the unknown so as to weed out who is faithful and those who are of perdition.
It is odd to mourn over the dead in Christ who died hundreds of years ago or even days ago, but then it is not the death which is being mourned, but the sorrow in their passing to the other side when they should have had more peace about it. Yet, they did have peace at the end, and once they are beyond the reach of the adversary here and his minions their torture is over.
Those who are chained here are the most base of slaves. Those whose hearts are bound to Christ are at liberty every day here and never can be in bondage.
The lily of death is one of life. It is the Way it is.
agtG 279
הלב שלי כואב לך בתו של אלוהים,
הלב שלי גחלילית
