As readers are fully aware, this blog astutely moved to help, direct and educate Barack Hussein Obama in how to be a guy in the White House. Mr. Obama was doing just fine in growing whiskers in listening to me, but when he stopped listening his poll numbers tanked.I told Birdie to put on some big gold general stars, but Axelrod Inc. fled from the field and with that bolting Bearick lost his connect with Americans.
Now, the liberals are telling Obama to be man, which is hard as he is a queerofile. The problem is Paul Begala is telling Obama to throw elbows to Scott Brown's jaw and others telling Obama to man up. It has gotten so bad that commander in chief Obama is being told to be gangsta in the street by his maniacs just to show he has some testicles and no a ovaries.
Always looking to serve and help, this blog has assembled 10 things Barack Hussein Obama can do...........well not really but I trust the Holy Ghost will come up with something entertaining to fill in the space below.
1. Barack needs to go back to Bearick as his name is pronounced. Obama can get a gold medallion for his zipper in "Lil Bearick" just danglin' along to impress liberals.
2. Bearick needs some mouth metal. Some nice big old braces in words GANGSTA, will give Obama that sheen to dazzle his maniacs.
3. Obama needs a gun. I suggest Muchelle's gardeners weld some water pipe onto some Secret Service handgun. It won' fire, but it is for show like all things Obama. He can whip it out, flash it about, pose some and maybe pistol whip Biden as folks will enjoy that.
4. Obama needs some fat blonde white chic, bottle blonde is alright, but she has to be fat and ugly as that is what slums as hose bags. He can't get a good lookin' one, as folks know for certain the good lookin' ones always deevorce their black men and go white after the jungle fever wears off.
Obama can't give the impression he is going to be abandoned. He needs a frumper welfare thang who looks like she has been givin' it up since the Luo were tradin' slaves to Arabs in Africa.
5. Bearick needs to get rid of his Beast, no not Muchelle, but that big black car he has, and get hisself a gold sparkle painted ride. Something with a pink neon light in the back window that says, "Super Freak".
6. Obama needs to lose the scuffs he has on and to get some ghetto blaster green tennis shoes with flashing lights when he walks.
7. Speaking of ghetto blasters, Obama needs a big old head gear set to listen to some hip hop, about the size of footballs around each ear.
8. Obama needs to drive by and point his water pipe gun at folks along Pennsylvania Avenue.
9. Bearick needs some slang, "My name is Bearick. I'm a bad a** n*gger. Just s*ck my derrick. If you don't f*ckin' like my jigger." That will save on teleprompter speeches, answering questions and Kayne West can record it.
10 Finally, Obama needs to change the name of the White House to the Ho House. He needs to sell Uncle Frank's coke and import some ACORN child prostitutes to get knocked up.
Barney Frank set the standard, so Obama has to out perform fat pasty white sugar pops.
This business of Obama being told to go gangsta light is not going to cut it. He needs to go the whole ghetto. He needs to sign his named BO on the bombs he is sending to war. He needs to change the FBI to the Female Body Inspector and inspect some of them fine ho's he got workin' for him in government. He needs to just to walk up and lay some bone on the head of Nancy Pelosi and then whip it out and p*ss on her markin' his Congressional hood.
Otherwise we are going to have like Obama's "stars" some dirty white hat looking limp. No one wants to see some transvestite homer jackin' his skirt to show off the pubes. Liberals want the real black gangsta they were gettin' Pegs Noonan damp over all through 2008 as that is the johnson they heard it through the grapevine, but now have just had suspicion about.
Obama comes off this time looking like a wimp there isn't any of these jungle blisters ever goin' back cause Obama ain't black.
Obama has to give the folks what they want as the tan is grand, but them liberal white folks want the primal dirty of that nasty black to make them an Obama poodle.
Obama needs help though as, Poor Barack he can't help it, he was born with a slice of poi in his mouth..........and when you is a poi boy, even the girls have bigger johnsons than the boy.
agtG
PS: For this help, I will trade saving Obama for the Obama Girl..........she can be Lame Cherry's official blog babe.
Gangsta O
Jungle love it's drivin' me mad
It's makin' me crazy
It's makin' me crazy
