I was thinking about roping a grizzly bear as I read cowboys would do and I was thinking about Peter Capstick hunting a cape buffalo with a spear and almost being killed by said buff, and it occurred to me that I would like to hunt something like that.
I have always desired to shoot a tiger, male of course, as they are very pretty animals, but I have come to believe that a tiger would not be the kind of sport I seek.
There was Alexander Seimal of South America, who hunted jaguars with a zayaga and that does appeal to me as it is one on one and jags are large animals and pretty too, but it is just that bear thing going on as there is nothing like the brute strength of a bear.
See you put a bear in a cage with a lion, and the lion gets killed........even a black bear would do the deed on the king of beasts. Cats just do not have it them, even if you were to toss a spear into one, and then hide under your African shield and hope your comrades would finish the beast off before it finished you.
For that reason, I think I would like to hunt a Kodiak Grizzly. They are large...I might want a polar bear too as they can be large also in the 11 foot range and they do like eating people. In that, I would prefer to hunt something that would like to eat human flesh, as even if people stink to animals, it would be a natural draw to me to be the bait.
You know a Kodiak can tear the leg off a bovine. Swat a bull on the head and break it's neck. They are ghastly creatures and I think a bear would be appropriate for what I would desire.
My thoughts on this are I would like to be like a turtle as there are reasons one blasts bears with guns and does not face them with your tooth and claw. For that reason, I would like to make a sort of shell with my limbs and head sticking out, but roomy enough to get the appendages in to not be bitten off in the fight.
I would see nothing not fair in this, as turtles are natural so doing this would be a good thing in sportsmanship, providing I used a lance or two.......special metal in one long and one short shaft......short one would be on outside of shell, clip on, and long one is what I would use on my attack of the bruin.
I would have a knife inside the shell too.....and there has to be something also like not too big of holes as I do not want some damn bear sticking his nose in and capping my skull.
It would have to be padded and a sort of cocoon thing so it would roll sort of, as I don't want to be like a knight in on my back and not being able to get up, as that would solve little on the hunt part.
I think I would start out in putting some type of lure on me, meat scent to appeal to the bear....probably fishy salmon as what could be nicer than a salmon dinner to a bear.
I like the idea of Hermie in Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer, oinking for the snowman to come eat him and that is what I would do. I would wander about in hunt of the big bear and probably have snacks as I would like snacks on a bear hunt.........beef jerky and maybe a few Twizzlers.
I know something of bears in the whites and browns seem to like to stand up in the majority of the time and that would suit me as then I could stab him with my spear, upward motion as it would be like 10 feet tall and that would be in the direction of up.
Providing I did not get my head swatted off or arm tore off if it swatted at me, then I think after stabbing the big bear, I would be in real trouble as the bear would do what a bear would do in roaring, swatting at me and attacking.
At this point, I would go turtle and the bear would bat me about in my cushioned turtle shell. I would hope that I had hit something which carried blood flow as this would then weaken the bear, but that not happening, I would have probably 15 minutes of not so much fun in trying to stay alive.
In this part, then my short spear I think I would jab into the bear, providing of course the bear did not bite my arm off or break it, as poking holes in bears would cause an unpleasant reaction as the bear worked on killing me.
I know anatomy enough and while I am not Davey Crockett in crawling into holes to stick a black bear, I think that this would be something I could manage in this fight to the death.
Odd in how black bear grease is like pig in it solidifies, but grizzly grease always is like oil......I do not know of polar bears except I suspect their grease tastes fishy as all things which eat fish smell putridity of fish.
So I figure is this goes well I will kill me a bar in about 20 minutes. If it does not go well, I will be batted about for 20 minutes in a real fight, and then the bear will calm down, go lay down pretending to not show interest and then when I move, come and bash me about again.
That does have a pleasing quality in it, as I hopefully could retrieve my spear and give him something of a good stick before he gave me the what for again.
If I have to go wander off in tracking him, because he has had enough fighting with big turtles, that would take much more time, but in knowing bears, it would not appreciate it, and try and kill me with zeal on the follow up, which would allow more sticking.
It all sort of is about that first stick I believe. I do that well, and then I would have alot of skinning to do for a bear skin rug.......protecting it I suppose from wolves and arctic foxes as that would be my trophy.
As there are not laws against me hunting a bear in hand to hand combat, I see this is something which is doable. No guns and no arrows, just me and my spear jousting with the bear in winner take all.
I realize hunting a big cat would be easier as the cats would just roar and I would throw the spear and hope for a hit, and then the pussy would try to dig at me with claws through the holes.......I probably should have though something of a sliding latch for my head, as it would not be fun being scalped and eaten in a brain meal for a bear. Should not be hard as Kodak has camera shutters and I would just be the film really in this turtle case.
So that should be my new adventure.....I would not mind practicing on a black bear, but while they maul people, I do not think I could find any that would hold still long enough for a fight as Davey had to use hounds before he stuck one.
The best polar bears are in Siberia....is where all the big ones really came out of in the record books. The Kodiaks are the big grizzlies, but it would be monster enticement to be able to bust a Yellowstone griz as they are quite malevolent now in taking away hunters elk and things and being real proper bastards in thinking this world is their place. That to me would be my proper choice in bear which is aggressive and hates people. If they allow hunting in Wyoming or Montana, I would be good to go in the adventure.
You know though cattle are real bastardios, and a cape buff would really be something as it would probably throw my turtle shell over some mopane tree as it bashed the hell out of it. Would take lots of padding as would be like a car crash.
Just is not the same splendor in laying on a cape buff hide in front of the fire compared to a meat eater.
Maybe I would do both if I ever get the money and then could decide about it all.
I wonder why no one ever thought of hunting like this........be grande fun really.
nuff said
agtG
