Tuesday, October 6, 2015
As another Lame Cherry exclusive in matter anti matter.
We have had some bad days, and today was not so bad, until dusk, when TL and I were going for a walk, and I heard the cows making noise, and of course 3 of them had jumped the ratty old fence and were where they were not supposed to be. It is almost 8:30 and I have just sat down in the dark.
It is a point that I would get rid of most of the few cattle we have, as the drought has us low on feed, and they are pissers in getting out, and I just have had it with everything again, and want to be away from everything.
This is not a pity me post, but a post about things Lame Cherry. The best part of my day was finishing up, as TL was sitting in the dark in the yard, watching the kitties play....sitting down beside TL and having Holly's sibling over playing with us.
Jubal was very sick with mattering eyes and snotty nose, but Jubal has now healed up and is acting almost like Holly used to in appearing, playing, crawling up, acting like a wild cat in play and then cuddling some.
Yesterday Jubal liked riding around in the pick up with us, so Jubal would not get run over by demonic murder again, infused by the evil in the people here and there. It is nice to know Jubal likes car rides and it does not bother the kitty.
I feel guilty in not having more time with TL and we are together every moment of the day. I cherish the time, but I just want time to sit like tonight for a few moments, as that is what is missing in all of our time.
I think of people who say, they work so much or are so busy. I would appreciate having that kind of calm life, as there is no end to all that I am responsible to accomplish.
I am reading George Stephanopoulos' All Too Human in the long hours and addiction he had to change the world for good working for Bill Clinton. I started thinking about a job like that, and then the Holy Ghost brought to mind that I work for God and a job at the White House would be inconsequential by comparison.
The Holy Ghost has told me that I am to prepare the Way for the Second Coming of the Lord. I never would have desired to be a John the Baptist type, but that is why I was created from a prayer. Of all my prayers to answer, God did answer the one about my desiring to be a Prophet. To an ignorant mind that standard bearer appeals a great deal, but once you begin the job, it is the last moral job any person would want. I believe that is why God calls people, as no one would apply for a job like this.
I can list the poverty, the being a target of satan, the evil wills of others, the fatigue as Spiritual energy is very depleting in a human, and all of the ways things are set in motion to keep me from accomplishing this job, as this vocation is the worst. You are always having someone or something trying to murder you, or things around you are being murdered. It is anguish, hurtful, lamentable and mourning.
There is no such thing as a retired Prophet. There are only dead Prophets.
I understand St. Paul in his "one more revelation" in what moves a person to continue on. I once was like all of you in not knowing things. I like the oneness with God in communicating with Him 24 hours a day, even if it is something which breaks the human body and depletes energies, as there is always one more thing to know.
God is good to me in not hiding things from me. The only real thing I know of is when Joan and the Holy Ghost were discussing me, I think, the surprise was I was there, and in a moment, the Holy Ghost took the memory of what was said from me.
I fear something in doubt, in questioning how much I lust after God and covet this relationship with Him. This job is a high wire act of no mistakes. What I push for is being closer to God every moment and is the only attraction of all of this, for if I know things, I am closer to God by associating with God and the signature bonds more.......that is my hope.
This is the greatest job of this age and the worst. I look forward to it changing when the more important Witnesses appear who will be more well known and hated like our Master the Christ. I hope for them in knowing they will be murdered, but they will accomplish what they were called for, and what I am moved to then is something else, but I hope for still waters in knowing rest only comes eternally.
I think I would like a red beer with olives in a tall glass, a mix of steak cubes, shrimp and chicken nuggets.....bbq sauce and ketchup with horseradish for the shrimp. I would like a big ice cream cone with a swirly chocolate and vanilla.........a big chocolate chip cookie too. I dream of things like that. Dream of something I heard Minnesotans do once, in a walleye shore lunch, fried potatoes and fried onion sandwiches with TL......it is all with TL.
That is my treat for myself, a few moments of what I would like to do, like to eat, like to experience with TL, as my luxury of a few moments, before I focus again on God, always reaching to Him and putting in all I am to serve Him the way He Wills and not my will being done.
I work for God. I do it so much that I do not even think about it, nor how much responsibility there is, as I keep telling myself that if I get one more revelation, one more post, one more effort, that it will be the one which will one day trigger a rich person to donate that 350,000 dollars. That is a mistake, but I am phobic about it all and driven by it.
How precious, in I was left alone the past few days in posting on here, but I start writing about who I am, and the spiders start jamming up the wire. I wonder if they really know Whose I am.