From the desk of the Tiger Lily.
This morning I woke to find out that my baby boy goat went to Heaven to be with Jesus. I am glad he is no longer suffering, but the pain is another aching wound added to the giant heap of raw places in my heart from the loss of so many little ones that were like family... the kind of wounds that will not heal until Jesus comes back.
It is a hard thing to live with sorrow and grief, in it becomes overwhelming, soul-crushing at times, and like a constant reminder of loss sitting on your shoulders, waiting to knock you flat all over again whenever there is a moment of pause.
There have been days in my life, sometimes for weeks at a time, when I have gone about life with downcast eyes, on the verge of tears, hoping someone, ANYONE would care enough to say something. There have been moments I have prayed to God to die, as breathing was nothing I cared to do any longer... those moments when I was not furious at Him for letting my life be ruined. There have been years of life passing like a vale of tears, when nothing would go right and hope was a siren's song in being let down over and over and over and over and over again.
I have not walked in your shoes, but I have walked in mine, and it was not an easy trip. It is hard, when pretty picture lives crumble to pieces. It is hard to be betrayed and left to rot by people you trust. It is hard, when loved ones are ripped away before their time, even when the death is not a surprise. Life is unbelievably hard, and life hurts, and nothing in this life is secure, except for the Love of Christ. You hold on tight to Jesus, and He will Carry you through.
Every loss in this life drives us to our knees that we may look up to Him for the strength to struggle on, for the treasure He is lovingly storing for us in Heaven, and for His Power to refine us into the glorious creatures He has Created and Ordained us to be for His Honor and Glory.
I am not by nature a person who has a high regard for most people or "heroes" that I emulate, but at this point all I want is to be able to cling to Jesus as I worship at His Feet. He has Renewed me to Life from the ashes of a destroyed life, and He can do the same for you. All you have to do is ask.
And I pray you do, and that you are Healed and Made new in Him for His Honor and Glory, in Jesus' Name Amen.
God's Blessings upon all who fear Him.
agtG
