Saturday, January 9, 2016

Heavy Alums

As another Lame Cherry exclusive in matter anti matter.

I must convey a message in second hand stores in certain locations, that time is running out to obtain something which will never appear again.

The subject of this is roasting pans or roasters made of heavy aluminum.

My arsenal of these pans is three.

I detest stainless steel.

I detest enamel.

I love heavy aluminum, as it is no longer made of the type from the 1920's to the 1940's.

I watch the progression of this, as the heavier pieces are disappearing and lighter types are appearing, due to the fact that the women who bore children, worthless as turds in a turd free zone, have had Mummy put into geezer care, or buried Mums, and being too hateful of the old gal, too prissy to have contact with cookware  that does not appear in a microwave, and the net result it is either scrapped into Chinese furnaces by American scavengers, or it is by God astutely appearing for me to purchase.

Problem in that though, is the culls at the second hand stores have boosted prices to like 8 bucks. I think mine were fetched for 3 bucks, and I have fallen deeply in love with them.

That is not to say they were not abused. The 1/3rd inch thick one needed me to put a steam vent cover on it......I am still waiting for money enough to go buy a hunting license to go shoot some geese for heavy flat roaster, as my dream is to cook a turkey and a goose on the same holiday in living large.
Last love child is the oval roaster which is not as heavy, but that girl can cook things up chickens as large as turkeys.

Last love child, the tray for the oval roaster was bent on the edge. How Mum did that is like.........the kid must have stood on it or tripped or fell on it while masturbating.

I also have like a half dozen sliding cover cake pans and a few snap on covers. I have one that is half size of a full size snap on. Some old Mum left tomatoes in it to eat holes in it......damn rhubarb acid or something not et up right as it tasted like I had to patch junior up with JB Weld.
JB Weld and Concrete Quik are the two best patchers since cow dung in brick.

The astute would be looking about for these treasures as they are disappearing like honesty.

So here is the deal, when Gram or Mumzie goes tits up, maybe don't toss out the cookware. Spend a hundred bucks and FedEx it to yourself. It can sit in your garage and when the time comes that the lights go out, and you are shitting behind a bush and wiping with leaves, you will have the relatives heavy roasting pan to......well roast up the odd feral dog or perhaps some ass roasts off that invader you clubbed to death while it was trying to rape your dog.

Anyway, your heavy alums will be roasting away moist meats instead of burning up in the fire like your fancy electric cook stuff.

OK enough of this kindness stuff, as people might think I care about people more than aluminum.