As another Lame Cherry exclusive in matter anti matter.
On the investigative trail of the 2016 AD in the year of our Lord, American Presidential primaries, there have arisen strange phenomena which few can explain in what seems to be other worldly hands manifesting events.
Here are the examples from the headlines:
- Hillary Clinton apparently coughing and choking on air.
- Was Jeb Bush dead before the 2016 campaign began.
- Marco Rubio fixated on the size of Donald Trump's hands.
- image Obama taking credit for bombing Hiroshima Japan.
- Ted Cruz as the Zodiac Killer
It is the last manifestation that has brought on the investigative trail, in the persona of Ben Shapiro, personal voucher for Michelle Fields, in Grabbergate, where Fields created the grab marks on her arm with eye shadow.
Yes it is this Ben Shapiro, who being fired by Breitbart, has taken on a surreal life of his own, attempting to after being attached to Ted Cruz, now be engaged in constant foreplay with the Alternate Right in a strange discussion of just how short Ben Shapiro is.
It is in that, that this urban mystery begins, because as the Mahabharata of India would question Vishnu, "Can a man really be that short? So if it is not a man, then what is it?"
Yes what is Ben Shapiro, as no man could be that size, and in examining photographic evidence of the Shapiro anomaly, the forensic sciences conclude there is a distinct resemblance in small size and look, to the human penis.
The Lame Cherry, being a global publication, asked noted Russian scientist, Dr. Ivan Vladimir Kilzovsica, if he had ever in the secret Soviet files and experiments, ever come across a penis pretending to be a human male?
This is Dr. Kilzovsica's detailed response:
Я могу определенно подтвердить, что после Чернобыля, появились сообщения о таком событии. Человек, Тема # 4487 был женат на Тема # 4488, и страдал от опухоли полового члена, который вырос до такого размера, что нетрудоспособных человек погиб, когда пенис прервался.
Обезумевшая жена, увидев своего мертвого мужа, и, будучи бездетными, немедленно прелюбодействовал с указанным пениса, и через 9 месяцев, произвел довольно здоровый 8 фунтов 4 унции мальчик, Игорь, который, кажется, совершенно нормально.
Пениса в этом случае, хотя, не жили в течение более 12 часов, когда отделяется от тела, и не говорил, но он появится умный.
I can most certainly confirm that after Chernobyl, there were reports of such an event. A man, Subject #4487 was married to Subject #4488, and suffered from a tumor of the penis, which grew to such a size that the incapacitated man perished, when the penis broke off.
The distraught wife, upon seeing her dead husband, and being childless, immediately fornicated with the said penis, and in 9 months, produced a quite healthy 8 pound 4 ounce baby boy, Igor, who appears to be perfectly normal.
The penis in this case though, did not live for more than 12 hours when detached from the body, and did not speak, but it did appear intelligent.
On this evidence, there is a proof that a human penis or mutant type, could indeed detach itself from a human male, and continue to live and reproduce as another life form.
While Dr. Kilzovsica did not state the size of the Chernobyl tumor, it was thought that Ben Shapiro, did indeed fit that small size.
Further evidence appeared from Wikipedia, which was startling and troubling:
One theory suggests that it derives from Shpira, the Hebrew/Yiddish name for Spira (Hebrew: שפירא, pronounced Shpira), the medieval name of Speyer, Germany.The Jewish community of Speyer, one of the ShUM-cities in the Rhineland, was a leading centre in the development of Ashkenazi culture. Other name variants are Sapiro, Spira, Spire, Spiro, Spero, Chapiro, Sprai, Szpir, Szpiro, Saphir, Sapir and Spear. The name "Speyer" has also become a well-known surname that was spread by Jews from Frankfurt to England, the United States and Canada in the late 19th and early 20th century.
Yes Shapiro means SPIRE as in SPEAR as in SHAFT, all terms associated with a human penis. Is Ben Shapiro like Bruce Jenner, calling out to the world that he is a penis set free, and simply is in a suit closet hiding what he really is, a detached human penis, trying to show that not only was the subject his original human's brain, but is struggling to show it has a personality too.
In Shapiro's bio, there is even more evidence about this penis on the loose:
Shapiro was born in Los Angeles, California. Skipping two grades (third and ninth), Shapiro switched between public and private elementary schools and graduated from Yeshiva University High School of Los Angeles in 2000 at age 16.Shapiro graduated summa cum laude and Phi Beta Kappa from the University of California, Los Angeles with a Bachelor of Arts in political science in 2004 and graduated cum laude from Harvard Law School in 2007.
Yes absolutely no father or mother, a penis who just showed up without identity, skipped a grade and keeps graduating CUM laude and summa CUM laude.
Can there be any more evidence? Of course there is on this penis on the prowl.
We put this to the reclusive rabbinical mystic, Oswad Siritis Kirmea of the noted Khartoumian school, and her answer was astounding.
יהוה הוא האל הגדול. הוא לקח צלע מאדם ועשה איב. לאחר גלות בבל, חלק גדול מן הדת תעלומה הופיע בתלמוד Kaballah, בפולחן נמרוד. נמרוד היה צייד אדיר לפני יהוה, ייצור ילד נאמר אחרי שהוא מת יחד עם אשתו. בשנות ה אנשי בוץ, ולדות השטן, זה ככל האפשר כדי להיות פין מנותק יהדות בטעות אנוש כמו צלע בהפקת ערב.
Jehovah is a the great God. He took a rib from Adam and made Eve. After Babylonian captivity, much of the mystery religion appeared in the Talmud and Kaballah, in the cult of Nimrod. Nimrod was a mighty hunter before the Lord, producing a child it was said after he was dead with his wife. In the mud people, the spawn of satan, it is as possible to have a penis detached in Jewry and mistaken for a human as a rib producing Eve.
With this confirmation we next turned to German genius, Dr. Gothe von Braunhagen of the prestigious underground academy of universal arts and sciences of Oldenberg, with the Freudian question of linguistic revelations.
Dr. von Braunhagen provided this evidence:
Bei der Untersuchung, der Name Ben Shapiro, in Hebräisch diese Aschkenasim Titel Mensch gar nichts, aber BEN auf Hebräisch bezeichnet SON und SHAPIRO Bedeutung SPEAR, ist es eine einfache Übersetzung von Son of the Spear oder in wörtlichen Bedingungen für einen kleinen umrahmten männlich , der nicht Mensch sein kann, sondern ein menschliches Anhängsel, buchstäblich bedeuten, die PENIS SON, genetisch Bedeutung, dass Ben Shapiro die menschlichen Penis befreit oder von einigen unglücklichen menschlichen männlichen verödet ist.
Upon examining the name Ben Shapiro, in Hebrew this Ashkenazim title means nothing human at all, but BEN in Hebrew denotes SON, and SHAPIRO meaning SPEAR, it is a simple translation of Son of the Spear, or in literal terms for a small framed male, who may not be human, but a human appendage, to literally mean, the PENIS SON, genetically meaning, that Ben Shapiro is the human penis liberated or cauterized from some unfortunate human male.
As all can now conclude, Ben Shapiro's name means the Penis Son, but son of whom?
Could Mark Levin in one of his rants, have jiggled around so much in his bunker that his penis was knocked off? Perhaps could it have been when Levin was riding Sean Homo Hannity's exercycle?
Could it have been Ted Cruz as Shapiro had a strange attachment to this politician?
Finally, in gender bender, could Ben Shapiro have detached himself from Michelle Fields, who he ruined himself for........could this have been Mike Fields before Ben left the boxers and breast augmentation?
With all of this evidence, in the career of Ben Shapiro written in the stars, the question is not so much a question, but a conclusion that Ben Shapiro is the Zodiac Penis, a form that simply appeared without parentage or history, and has been wandering around as a leftist in the right wing, trying to find a home, after he apparently dropped off or was knocked off of the human he formerly was attached to.
Yes Ben Shapio, Son of Penis, has announced to the world who he is. He has proven he is a proven breeder like the tumor penis of Chernobyl, but there remains a vital question in all of this:
Personal lifeShapiro married Mor Toledano in 2008; both practice Orthodox Judaism. Together, they have a daughter born in 2014,and a son born in 2016.Shapiro's cousin is former child actress turned stage actress Mara Wilson.
Can a penis hold a job with 95 million Americans unemployed? Can a penis legally be married in the Jewish religion? Can a penis be relied upon by the Neo Cons to express their true ideology to be followed, even with having honors of CUM laude and suma CUM laude?
Just what is Ben Shapiro trying to pass himself off as? It is certain that from the above that he is a wayward penis, and perhaps the best solution is to reattach him to whoever he was separated from, to restore manhood to this suffering individual.
Ben Shapiro is the Zodiac Penis, now the search is on from what boxers he sprung from.