As another Lame Cherry exclusive in matter anti matter.
As I type this, from pulling hay off of frozen bales and moving panels for cattle, my back went out yesterday, so I a sucking more advil than usual. I was quite abused as a child in work, and being a child honoring parents I did as I was told, so my back and neck have about 4 weak spots that I deal with.
I rarely hurt my back doing things, but instead doing things, causes it to inflame, and then the next day doing nothing it goes into the nerve pinch mode.
I found that I can grind nerves to a point and I do not feel them as much over the years, but then new things show up and it takes my breath away.
In most cases I just ignore the pain wherever it is in my body as sulking about it or going to doctors I can not afford only puts them on the golf course.
I was thinking about patience though and patients, in how some people are not good patients. For example, I should have been in the hospital for being sick when Mom shattered her wrist, and I seem to recall in 40 below weather, being up at night whenever she needed to go to the bathroom and things, that the first orders when she came home was I was to cook oatmeal at 6 AM as that is what she wanted for breakfast.
I thought WTF, you can't give me a rest and eat something around here? So I made her that oatmeal without a peep, and God was good to me, as He made her constipated from that damned oatmeal and I never had to make it again.
When her hip was broken and I should have been in the morgue, I worked at cleaning her bedroom out so she could get into it as she has stuff piled to the ceiling. The alternative was the old folks home where she would die, as the siblings were plotting.
All I heard after that was "I had moved things" and she did not know where they were.
I had to tell her several times over the years, "Well Mom would you have rather been in the old folks home and dead or here at home?"
I also found out my taking care of her had about a 5 year warranty in it no longer registers with her. I heard non stop when I was with TL about how much she missed me........and when I got back, she chewed my ass and went back into the "can't hear you" mode.
Some people make good patients. I try to be one in never asking people to do things for me, because from experience I have had Mom tell me after I threw up, that I was "fussy" and must be getting better when she served me steaming hot chicken with hot mayo on toast, and I complained it almost made me puke.
Then again she made me use my Christmas money for Ciro one year as she gets into moods, but I know I have my faults, but I usually don't try and burden people when I am not feeling good, as it just disappoints me in their bitching or not thinking that I need some help, so I just withdraw into my own world, and last time Puntz was in bed with me, biting the fangs into me for company as her support.
I love my Mom, but there are just realities in life. My dad had a hobby about being sick and enjoyed it. I enjoyed the day he died as he was such a whiner.
Sometimes I think it is like my Obama voter Auntie who had a gall bladder operation I think, and was whining and not feeling so good for months. Her sister and Mom took her out to a celebration, and got a few beers into her, and as the sister said, "That is all she needed, look at her dancing now".
Lord willing before Christ comes back, I will have a tractor with loader, a shed, and our own feed, where I will be putting hay into feeders and that will end my pitching hay.......bad year as it rained and froze and everything is stuck on the hay this year........and it is all below zero weather.
It helps even with my back to get out of the house and for Daisy to help me vent, as she ran away from me this morning as she feels a change in the weather and I was screaming at her "what a f*ck she was", and with that she turned around and ran back to the barn.
Odd how I was bright enough to never tell Mom the same thing, although when the lights were out I rather loudly informed her that things were changed and she was going to do what I told her from now on.
It sort of has worked for a little over a week. I know it will not last though.
It is the worst lesson I learned though in you get lonely without people, and get disappointed with people. The worst of it is, instead of screaming as I want to, the Holy Ghost in most cases just tells me to shut up, as saying something will only cause more problems. I have turned into quite the little diplomat in life and I detest it.............as at heart I am Scottie on Star Trek in, "The only diplomat I need is a fully loaded phaser bank".
Aye Laddie, Florence Nightingale done left my building about the time I got weaned.