Wednesday, February 1, 2017

Ben Affleck Destroys Batman Franchise

The Batgod, Adam West

As another Lame Cherry exclusive in matter anti matter.

We are learning things about Ben Affleck. He can not think and be a liberal. He can not play Batman and not repulse viewers, and now he can not direct and act in the same movie. Apparently, direct Affleck could not get the no talent Batman Affleck to get a performance out of him that would not finish off the Batman franchise.

Affleck of course made his first appearance as the Caped Crusader in last year's Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice as well as briefly in Suicide Squad. Although the less said about those two, the better.

In always seeking to help people, even Mr. Jennifer Garner, as Warner Brothers and Affleck are seeking a director to deal with Ben Affleck, the following measures should be put into place.

First, hire Uwe Boll, the great German director of disgustingly horrid Bloodrayne series. Then have Director Boll hire the Lame Cherry to rewrite the script that Ben Affleck wrote for Batman Solo.

In this liberal age, no better director can be found than Boll, who seems to find absolutely creative ways of inserting lesbians into movies and covering everything with red karo syrup blood. That is just what Batman needs to liven things up, as naked women, and women in leather, at least will be a semblance of balancing no talent Ben.

Ok here is the story outline I would submit. We cast Adam West in a starring role, as Mr. West defined Batman and put Burt Ward into the film too, as moral leaders of Gotham City, which has just been overrun by a horde of Lipstick Lesbians, capture Batman and put a tampon gag in his mouth, which should get rid of Ben Affleck to make the movie a hit, and the combined Gotham City leaders in government and crime, combine to drive the Lezbo out and to rescue Batman.

The ugly dykes will be played by rotten crotches Ashley Judd, Scarlett Johanssen, Matthew McConaughey and Amy Adams.

Catwoman will be played by Christina Hendricks in leading the Gotham Crooks to the good deed of rescuing Batman Solo.

Patton Oswalt will play the great tuxedo wearing Penguin and Enver Gjokaj will play the suave Joker. Gjokaj Picture

Just blow up lots of buildings, lots of Batman bat cave, bat belt, bat car, bat copter, bat jet and bat rangs, with even more blood, and Uwe Boll will save this hideous picture as it is going to be black as Ben Affleck's soul, but in the German version there will be a great deal of color to please the audience, as things go POW, KERPLAT, ZINGO and BAM.

There would not be a Batman if not for the genius of Adam West in his high American morals and virtues in the character. The franchise is now destroyed by the incessant darkness of worthless actors, and Ben Affleck is the black hole sucking the life out of Batman.

For fixing this Ben Affleck disaster, the price is 10 million dollars plus other negotiated points.