Monday, March 6, 2017

BATFLECK: STARRING JOAQUIN PHOENIX as JOAQUIN PHOENIX



As another Lame Cherry exclusive in matter anti matter.

When last we left you, the Lame Cherry does not have time to sit around drunk waiting for some people to finish Batman movies which have destroyed the franchise. No, the Lame Cherry after creating the Bat Salvation in a Batacular Production has produced another release, this time it is BATFLECK Starring Joaquin Phoenix as Joaquin Phoenix is the greatest actor ever.
I mean like before there was time or ever, there were people standing around without time, who said, Joaquin Phoenix is the best now, but you just wait until God invents time, that is how great Joaquin Phoenix is.

Cameras roll.........

It opens with Ben Affleck playing with his lego and Alfred changing fuses as Batman Ben keeps sticking his lego into electrical outlets.




It becomes a crime spree where Ashley Judd, playing Hillary Clinton gets hacked, and nasty things come menstruating out of her hard drive, and Commissioner Gordon places a phone call to President Trump, who gives the Joaquin Signal in the sky, and there appears our hero, Joaquin Phoenix, the greatest actor before time and after.

http://cdn.inquisitr.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/Ashley-Judd-Clinton.jpg


Mr. Phoenix tells the Commissioner that that he can save Gotham and the world from black outs, and embarks on the task of lighting up Gotham City and saving the Batman franchise.

Scene shift, Batben has scaled the Empire Nuclear State Building and is about to stick his lego into the power slot, when Joaquin Phoenix power dives out of his zero gravity fighter in a 5 mile dive before he pulls the chute, fighting off McCain and Obama terrorists as he dives, and firmly plants his feet on the Empire smokestack, where Batben tries to get Ashley Judd to do the nasty tampon, but Joaquin hoses her down and whips it out and bitch slaps Batben off his towering inferno.

http://static.thesuperficial.com/uploads/2009/04/0413_rosie_odonnell_boat_06-675x900.jpg.
 


Batben falls to his death, 27 times over the next 20 minutes of Sam Peckinpah cutting, as Uwe Boll or whatever his name is peeps into windows on the way down of the smokestack showing lesbians in various positions of swearing off Lezbo sex after seeing photos of Rosie O'Donnell.

As Batben falls, Joaquin Phoenix pulls out of his batchute, Casey Affleck, who in this movie is Wayne to Ben's Bruce and announces to save Batman, Joaquin will perform the first interaffleck transplant, whereby he pulls out his Swiss Army Knife, saws dead Batben in half and saws live Casey Wayne in half and produces two Afflecks to star in the next movie:

Wayne Bruce VS Bruce Wayne

Starring of course Joaquin Phonenix.




It is only by this measure of joining the Obama talented Casey Affleck who got an Oscar for showing up, to his absolutely no talent brother who got Batman movies for making bad Jimmy Carter liberal movies, can the Batman franchise be saved, by the real star, Joaquin Phoenix, the greatest actor before time and after.



Nuff Said




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