Wednesday, May 24, 2017

Best Audrey Hepburn Movie Ever

Audrey Hepburn in The Unforgiven

As another Lame Cherry exclusive in matter anti matter.

I see that those sodomites really get into Audrey Hepburn, not that it is literally as she is dead and this is not about necrophilia, but a movie review of the move The Unforgiven.

I realize that most of you will think of Clint Eastwood in that western, but before Clint was cutting off cunny and things there was Audrey Hepburn. I know that many of you think Auds was not bad ass, as she played wierdos alot and married that faggy Mel Ferrer, but  I am telling you that Auds really is a woman you can sink your teeth into. Seriously I can see why fags like her so much after this movie.

Ok the movie is about Audrey out west. She is the original horse whisperer, in she talks to  a big white stud horse who prances around for her a lot and she rides it like the wind. Keep that in mind in powerful white things between Audrey Hepburn's legs.

So this crazy Civil War vet shows up. Think he is a reb, so it is ok to hate him, as he is a loon, and Aud's Mum, Lillian Gish is in this and almost shoots him with a Sharps which forebodes of things not good.

Anyway, the loon reb, steals the horse, there is a big dust storm, the Indians had kilt or killed Aud's daddy and they have him buried in the front dust pile, and it was the evil Kiowa who done it.


Oh, Audey Murphy stars as Aud's brother. That is so cool as he killed like 250 Germans in World War II, and more people, and got highly decorated for it. He shows up later and kills about that many rat bastard Kiowa  too.
Oh and John Saxon plays this breed buck who tries to get friendly with Audrey in pulling a burr out of her hair, but white man Burt Lancaster will have none of it and kicks the shit out of the breed. The breed is a dirty fighter but Burt still plays it white guy upstanding citizen.

So any way,the loon gets caught, and he starts saying Audrey Hepburn is a damned Indian squaw as he sits on the hanging horse, and Lilian will have none of that and slaps the horse on the ass and cracks the old loons neck.

Everyone is right riled up about this, as no one likes them goddamned Indians. Burt Lancaster is in this as the older brother, and his partner wants to dissolve the partnership if Auds is a squaw. Demands the women folk take her inside and strip her down and give her a white test, but Burt will have none of it, so they dissolve the partnership and head home.

In the meantime, the Indians have been at the ranch. Left some deer hide book and it says in the pictures that Audrey is a squaw and was taken by whites as a baby. Audie Murphy will have none of that and after a brooha, Ma Lillian admits she is an Indian and her husband brought the kid home to replace their dead daughter with yellow curly locks who died.

Audrey tries to put on the war paint and go run off to the Indians, who want her back, but Burt Lancaster tells his other brother to shoot the peaceful Indians as a message, so he drops one in the yard. The brother is was Trampus on the Virginian

Oh and the guy who was courting Audrey Hepburn went nuts later in life and shot his wife and himself. Lots of dead stuff so you can see why homosexuals  really get into Audrey Hepburn.

Any way, there are lots of hot ass women in this show. All  wanting to get married. Sex is on their mind even when a massacre is going on, but the men will have none of that, as they got more fulfilling things like riding wild horses and drinking whiskey.

So the Kiowa return and them damn Indians will not take no for an answer, so they shoot it out, and Audrey starts blasting them Indians too like Ma Lillian.
Anyway the Indians at night are tooting on their flutes and Burt Lancaster hauls out the grande piano and tells Ma to fire up the keyboards and she gets to playing opera tunes and them Indians  just quit tooting on their flutes because they been bested by piano music.

Anyway, the Injun who wants Auds back is her brother, but Audrey wants no part of it, as she likes killing Indians, like Audie Murphy and Burt Lancaster and Lillian Gish do too. Problem is, Ma gets shot in the side by one of them........oh yeah RED EYED NIGGERS, that is what is the sound effects all through the movie in they keep calling them Red Eyed Niggers, the bucks making terror war on Burt and Audrey. So you can see why homosexuals like Audrey Hepburn.

So anyway, them Red Eyed Niggers will ...........and yes it is appropriate to refer to Indians like this, because gays are always right, as Obama and Trump say so, so anyways the Red Eyed  Niggers go real terror and after stealing the horses, they run cows on the roof of the Audrey Hepburn home and try to crash the cows in but that ole Burt Lancaster, he puts Ma who is now dead, Trampus who is shot in the root cellar, and lights the roof on fire and the cows stampede off.
Burt and Audrey kiss then as Trampus passes out under them and Ma is laying there dead next to them. Real romantic and you can see why homosexuals like Audrey Hepburn.  

So they prepare to fight it out to the end, and suddenly Audie Murphy shows up and kills almost every damned Indian in the country. He  is one bad ass, and I can see why he depopulated Germany to their almost extinction in World War II.

So Burt figures it  is  Audie returned as he left as he hated them goddamn Indians and would  not have an Indian for a sister. Burt said they should sell her as a whore down by the fort, but Audie would have none of that either, but he comes back and does the good thing in killing all them Kiowa bucks in another dust storm.
So  it is Burt and Audie out in the dust, guns blazing to the last round, then taking them tomahawks, not the missiles  Ivanka Trump fires at Russians, but the real thing, and they fight it out with the last Indians.......

Or is it, because who should pop in but that brother of Audrey Hepburn, and tries taking her back, but Audrey Hepburn will have none of  that, as  no one loves them  Indians, after having a white stud horse coursing between your thighs, and in the end she gut shoots her brother and plugs him deader than Sitting Bull on the Standing Rock.

It is really a happy ending, as all it took for Audrey Hepburn to have her American dream was to kill her Red Eyed Nigger relatives to extinction and marry white Burt Lancaster, whose brothers just love killing redskins.

That is really a great movie and I can see why homosexuals love Audrey Hepburn. I could see a remake in some Navy SEALS exterminating some Muslims or hell all of China, and finding this little girl baby, saving it, and bringing it home to their wife to raise as the good little girl died, and when the tan skin grows up she likes killing them other tan skins as all she wants in life is to be white.

I just can not figure out why such an uplifting movie starring Audrey Hepburn is not featured, because queers really get off on Audrey, as The Unforgiven is really an American Rip Snorter Dream.  Figure the Alt Right and Storm Front would have it as their favorite movie list, because you know John Wayne always got smeared for liking to kill Indians, but here is Audrey Hepburn the Princess of Europe, starring in a movie extolling the virtues of killing them savages.

So this is a recommend for all the Trump voters and for all the sodomite lovers, as Audrey Hepburn has a cult following among fags and as fags are always right, we know this movie is wholesome viewing and recommended for all ages.

If only Audrey Hepburn had married a real man like John Wayne or Charles Bronson, as she was held back by the limp things she always was hanging out with in movies.
Keep that whoring Breakfast at Tifs with manwhore George Peppard and keep that dancing stuff with FredAstair, as 1960 Audrey Hepburn hit her peak as living the American Dream as a white woman and killineverything, including her dark skinned kindred to make that dream come true, with Burt Lancaster.
That Burt Lancaster is just prime rib in The Unforgiven. Nothing tofu about him, and as you can see Audrey Hepburn got her man and she was not letting her white man go.

Another Lame Cherry exclusive in matter anti matter.