Cannibal Buster Justin Calhoun
As another Lame Cherry exclusive in matter anti matter.
It is so much better in a Seth Meyers society of Trump hating, that all of the left utopia is before us, so that we all can be more like them. Take for example the most recent sodomite relationship out of Florida which was a real insight, as we have not Rosie millionaires not being able to be wed together, but a stripper.
But this is not just any stripper on the left, noting like those KKK or White Supremacists which are so derided, now this stripper got it into his head that his sex partner was a cannibal.
Yes a cannibal. Now we have not discovered how this revelation came upon Justin Calhoun, but Calhoun was engaged in an argument with his sex partner Mar Brann aged 67, in this Geezer December romance.
Now I personally thought the left was all tolerance. I mean except for roaming Charlottesville Virginia in animal packs, armed with bats, trying to club Ohio boys to death like James Fielding jr., because I would think eating people would be something the homosexual and democrats would be a voting group they would want to aspire to in their fetishes not being understood like smelling like feces penis.
Anyway as words were not working, Calhoun grabbed a gun from Brann, who apparently thought he had a crazy leftist on his hands, and then Calhoun did not turn the other cheek, but tried to shoot Brann for being a cannibal, in being absolutely a Cannaphobe.
Anyway the gun jammed, so Calhoun did what any abnormal leftist would in he picked up a pen and started stabbing the old man in the eyes. I am not familiar with the things of how to deal with cannibals, but it must be something like a silver bullet in the werewolf heart, because apparently if a cannibal can not see, he can not eat you, so as long as you have a Bic pen, you can rest assured as a leftist that no cannibal is going to be chowing down on you.
Apparently being a Cannibal Buster gets noisy as the cops arrived, but unlike James Fielding jr. who surrender to the police for safety from the black terrorists in Charlottesville, Calhoun ran away. Calhoun though was out of the closet and easily found and arrested while Brann was taken to the hospital on Obamacare, without eyes, and in critical condition.
See, there is a lesson in this, in if you got cannibals, stabbing the in the eyes with pens does not save you, as they must have special powers to jam guns, so you are pretty well the main course, as no one knows the secret like with vampires in how to deal with them.
It is so refreshing living in the post Obama world of wonderful Seth Meyers moralism judging Donald Trump. All this unity in sodomite relationships, unless of course one is a cannibal, then democrats want no part of advancing that voting block.
Frankly, I would think Herbert McMaster would want the gay cannibals in the army, as they would be better than transvestites, in you wouldn't have to feed them, in the Chinese and Russians would be smorgasbord time for the cannibal gay soldier. The army gives a gun, a mess kit and a knife........hell these cannibals could eat their way through China in a few years.......granted, as long as a stripper named Calhoun was there and did not have a Bic pen in his pocket, then I don't think the cannibal army would be such a good idea.
Then again, maybe safety glasses are the cure. Sure every cannibal should have a pair of Obamacare safety glasses as part of their Charlottesville civil rights.
I wonder if this is terrorism though.......have to wait for Herb McMaster to weigh in on this, as in Charlottesville an innocent White boy from Ohio, being hunted by tribes of Afroids with bats is White people as terrorists.
Things have sure changed since George W. Bush told us terrorists were the ones attacking people, and not the people running away from the attackers.
I am still trying to figure out how Justin Calhoun arrived at the understanding that he was having sex with a cannibal.....maybe the old guy just was eating gummy bears, as they do look like people.
Oh but this just in from another source, a sort of x rated version, as this is more Michelle and Barack Obama things you can believe in, as apparently Calhoun knows something else about cannibals, in instead of doing vampire stakes into them, he shoves parts of wooden dressers into the mouths of cannibals, as I guess if they can not see you, then they can not eat you with a mouth full of splinters.
Apparently the leftist cannibal buster, also takes out drawers and beats old gay dudes with them.......oh and stomps on the wood in their mouths to keep them quiet. I thought perverts were into stuffing underwear into people's mouths as gags, but then this is a cannibal, and apparently Calhoun was without his fruit of the looms, as he then robbed the duffer fag, and jumped out of the second story window and naked himself away.
Then Calhoun stuffed a piece of wood from a broken dresser into Brann's mouth "to silence him," he told police, the report said.
Calhoun "stomped" on the piece of wood to lodge it further into Brann's mouth, grabbed a drawer from the broken dresser and used it to hit Brann, the report said. Calhoun said he locked the door to keep Brann's roommate from entering, grabbed his money and backpack and jumped out of the bedroom window while naked, the report said.
That old Brann must have been a pretty spry cannibal, because he had a roommate and the stripper. No mention of Viagra so maybe that human meat diet gets the old erections up, Maybe that is how Calhoun knew he was a cannibal in Brann had a constant erection and no viagra around.
Thing is, I don't remember Bill Murray in Ghostbusters going naked. Grabs his money and a backpack, but not some clothes. Guess he was a stripper and maybe that is where the gummy bears were hid......in the backpack.
It does seem that everyone would have been better off having gummy bears, instead of the gay sex as instead of erections coming up, the conversation goes to the suspect cannibal accusations.
Nuff Said
agtG
A male stripper from Tampa is accused of stabbing his partner multiple times in the eyes with a pen after he suspected he was a cannibal, according to WTVJ and a report acquired by the station.
Justin Calhoun, 24, is being held without bond on an attempted second-degree murder charge after he attacked Mark Brann, 67, in his Key West home, the report stated.
Calhoun told police that he and Brann were in a relationship and that the incident started because Calhoun suspected Brann of being a cannibal. The two then got into an argument and Brann picked up a gun, according to the report.
Calhoun managed to take the gun away from Brann and tried to shoot him with it, but the gun jammed, the report states. Calhoun then stabbed him in the eyes with a pen and stuffed a piece of wood in his mouth, police said. He ran away as officers surrounded the building. He was arrested shortly after and Brann was taken to an area hospital in critical condition, WTVJ reported.
agtG
