As another Lame Cherry exclusive in matter anti matter.
It is not that John Claude Van Damme movies are bad. I mean Chuck Norris movies are really bad. Steven Seagall movies are really bad. Meryl Streep movies are all really bad, but the thing with JCVD is that he is like a Hostess Ho Ho, in it always looks good, but when you bite into it, it is like there is nothing there.
That is why when I was was suffering through Universal Soldier that I was floored that I was watching the second one, and there are apparently enough of these movies like pigs with tits.
I was watching the 1999 one in The Return. Apparently you got these dead soldiers that are alive, and a computer controls them. For some reason they do not break when falling out of windows like normal human bones would. They seem to be more like vampires though in needing special measures to be rid of them.
I watched this movie and I really can not remember it. That is probably a blessing in it was so stupid.
The best I can say is you should prepare to watch this move by watching Time Cop, as Mia Sara starred in that one, and that is who I got through this movie in a mix of thinking why is not Mia Sara in this movie and I sure miss Mia Sara from Time Cop in this movie so it would not suck so horrendously.
Yes Mia Sara looking pretty, being the reporter so you cared about that role, and just gracing the movie so it would be watchable.
I see it was filmed in Texas. Would not Mia Sara look nice as a cow girl..........
I see that it cost ....or I should say only lost tens of millions of dollars, and still others future versions were made.
Box Office
Budget:
$45,000,000 (estimated)Opening Weekend:
$224,000 (France) (14 July 1999)Gross:
$10,431,220 (USA) (26 September 1999)
The trivia is not even so interesting, but it is better than the movie. Again if they used Star Trek' call sign, why not have Mia Sara do a cameo.
Trivia
(At around one hour and eleven minutes) During the final fight sequence between Seth and Luc, when Seth finally breaks the termination code, the first part of the code is NCC1701, the same as the numbers that are on the outside of the Enterprise, of Star Trek fame.
Movies used to have formulas:
Goofs
(at around 43 mins) When the S.E.T.H. brain is implanted into the Super-UniSol, he gives a speech to the rest of the UniSols. During this speech he directs his soldiers to "gather raw materials, so what we may expand our numbers geometrically". Geometrically should have probably been "exponentially"
Action
Sex
Violence
Nudity
Humor
Large sounds
Large colors
Mia Sara
Universal Soldier never gets over the dead Jean Claude smell...........and it is creepy when the reporter gets the hots for the corpse.
I cringe as Chuck Norris is coming up in this bad movie review series, and I am wondering how insufferable that one will be.
Nuff Said
agtG
