Apparently the 7 Dwarfs are missing Sleepy and Dopey
US will launch 'massive military response' to NKorea threats: Mattis
As another Lame Cherry exclusive in matter anti matter.
The Lame Cherry is pleased to post this exclusive interview with Secretary Mad Dog Mattis as the Korean situation is pressing upon the world.
LC: Mr. Secretary thank you for agreeing to this interview.
MM: Please call me Kung Fu.
LC: Kung Fu Mr. Secretary?
MM: Yes I learned the oriental mind from watching Kung Fu. I am an expert the way Herbert McMaster is on Vietnam, in he watched MASH.
LC: Mr. Sec......Kung Fu, you do realize that David Carradine was an American actor who portrayed Caine in the fictional drama, Kung Fu, and that MASH was about the Korean War?
MM: They are all Asians and when you have seen one war, you have seen them all. I could write an entire Asian policy on the Mongolian American War and it would fit every war America would fight.
LC: Mr. Sec.....Kung Fu, there never was a Mongolian American War sir, but could we please turn to the nuclear situation which you were speaking about as our time is short today.
MM: Yes, I am glad to address that in our New Clear Strategy in Asia is a massive military response.
LC: So the nuclear strategy is to launch a massive nuclear strike sir?
MM: I was quite clear in our New Clear Response is a massive military response.
LC: Do you mean New Clear or nuclear sir?
MM: Huh? Exactly, a New Clear Policy is New Clear Strategy.
LC: Sir, this is about nuclear as in atomic, as in Hiroshima.
MM: The Japanese are at it again? News to me. We should have bombed them to dust, Never trusted them Japs. If was in charge I would have had a massive military response.
LC: Mr. Kung Fu, there was a massive military response and it was called World War II. Japan has not attacked anyone, but this is about Korean policy.
MM: Glad to hear them Japs learned their lesson, but I want to state that our New Clear Policy is not to careen into any policy as I will make this nuclear, centered, to the smallest detail, yes that is our New Clear Policy not careening off into the unknown.
LC: Mr. Secretary.....Kung Fu, perhaps I was not clear or you have not been briefed, but this is about North Korea, having fired a series of missiles and detonated a number of atomic and now hydrogen bombs in this being the nuclear, not New Clear threat.
MM: That makes sense in why Herb McMaster was having me send all them carriers, jets, subs and things to South Korea. Thought it was a bit showy, but Herb is like my son and when Junta Kelly tells me to do things I just snap to it, no careening around here!
LC: Mr.......Kung Fu, it is Korean not "careenin'" and this is Kelly and McMaster policy?
MM: Wasn't much good at vocabulary either. Yes, yes, Herb and Junta do the deciding.
LC: Mr. ...Kung Fu, you mean the President is not involved?
MM: Oh sure Kelly lets him listen in and McMaster tells me how much Raytheon needs to spend and I sign the checks and deploy the weapons.
LC: This brings us back to the North Korean situation in can you be more specific in the nuclear threat of North Korea, now with hydrogen bombs, in your stating a massive response?
MM: That hydrogen stuff does not seem so very dangerous to me, so I do not think we need to do more than bomb North Korea massively.
LC: Kung Fu, this is the same hydrogen that powers the sun, and is a massive amount of destructive force. So how will your policy deal with North Korea in their response to your response?
MM: I never was very good at that solar system stuff in school. I will just leave that to Herb McMaster to sort out, and Junta Kelly to hand out orders, and I just deploy ships so my Pentagon contractors get lots of new contracts.
LC: What if North Korea bombs Japan?
MM: We did it so I figure we owe them two.
LC: Your policy is to allow North Korea to blow up two Japanese cities? What about South Korea?
MM: Now that is a different situation in South Korea was one of the 13 original colonies. I am sure that Herbert would have something to say about that.
LC: That is South Carolina Sir, not South Korea. South Korea is south of North Korea on the Korean Peninsula.
MM: Look I hated geography as much as that solar system stuff in school, so as long as Herbert McMaster has that Vietnam thing down watching MASH, I am satisfied that the Kelly massive response is just what is necessary in this situation as Kelly would never let anything happen to one of the colonies.
LC: Mr. Secretary your aide is signalling I believe that the time is up, or he is suffering from a brain seizure.
MM: Yeah don't say anything as I heard he was the guy they set grenades off on his head to test the new helmets for the Vietnam War. Started that tic about the 433rd test run they said.
LC: Thank you Mr. Secretary, we have to be going now.
MM: No no, I got plenty of time. You have any requests?
LC: Requests?
MM: Sure Ivanka gets to put in requests to blow things up, so a pretty girl like you, should get to request something? How about tomahawking Brazil?
LC: Why would I tomahawk Brazil?
MM: Always hated them nuts at Christmas time. All that was ever left were them nigger toe nuts. Everyone always went for them pecans, and all I ever got was them Brazil nuts. Have hated that jungle ever since. Busting my nuts with my helmet and eating them greasy meats.
LC: No Mr. Secretary that is quite alright in I have no requests and am leaving now.
MM: Suit yourself, but our New Clear Strategy is what I am all in for now. I just do not understand why Dina Powell keeps spelling it with one word in nuclear. Must be that girl shorthand stuff.LC: Thank you Mr. Sec........Kung Fu
Carl Douglas - Kung fu fighting(original) - YouTube
I accidently found this video and it's the ORGINAL!!!!! edit: i know i know it's out of sync, blame youtube.
Nuff said
agtG
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