I think I need to cast a brunette.......and a man for the job
As another Lame Cherry exclusive in matter anti matter.
Let us face it in Jared and Ivanka Kushner are bad for Trump Brand and Trump Ratings. If this was Celebrity Apprentice, Meat Loaf would now be running the West Wing.
It just goes to show how much Donald Trump needs a producer and not a regent like John Kelly, stealing the show.
In that, the Lame Cherry tirelessly seeks to serve and help all, and this blog believes that it has found the solution, to Jared and Ivanka Trump.............the President just replaces them.
I mean Donald can not fire his daughter and son in law. He could disown them, but then who would John Kelly appoint as replacements, but some shaved head thing to replace Ivanka, and no man wants a daughter that looks like Herbert McMaster.
Meet my wife Herbertina,
my daughters Herbal and Herbanne
Thankfully Herbert's semen are ova come by Kathleen Trotter's egg sacs as his daughters do not shave their heads, but they do seem to have thighs like Michelle Obama that could carry bales of cotton or crack walnuts.
The Herberts doing the dance of the
Herbert Plum Fairies
No one wants any of that kind of surprise like marrying a hairy Muslim woman.
For that reason we got to go with known talent, well at least talent as equal to Ivanka, and the Lame Cherry can think of no better candidate as Ivanka Trump than Jessica Alba.
She has like the same number of children, she has cosmetic work, she is annoying when she talks and instead of working, she is in the fashion business. She also is unemployed.
Here this is Jessica or Pseudo Ivanka Trump.
Jessica Alba was one of the hottest stars in Hollywood during the early 2000s. She appeared in many films, such as the Fantastic Four films and Sin City: A Same to Kill For. However, Alba started noticing that she is often being typecast for only certain roles, usually the bombshell with little more to her. Frustrated by the turning of her career, Alba decided to put her acting career on hold and open a successful cosmetics business, Honest Beauty. She also chose to focus on raising her family.
She doesn't seem to know how to paint very well as her pants are filthy, but as the White House has just been repainted, we could maybe wash her jeans in some Tide and no one would know the difference. Remember that Ivanka is a peroxide pixie herself, so the President just could say, "Hey Ivanka went back to her normal German hair color of brown", and the press would not notice anything different.
That Jared Kushner is a bit more difficult to cast as how do you replace someone like this.
In examining candidates, the Lame Cherry discovered a very promising eggplant, named Pootsie.
Unfortunately the IQ of Pootsie was too high, having a real Harvard degree, so people would notice.
Another promising look alike was Ashley Judd's blow up penis, Melvin. Melvin though refused to impersonate a penis which was second choice to a ..........Melvin said no.
We next looked to a look alike, a liberal, someone annoying, the same intelligence and .........well it was Ron Opie Howard.
While Ron Howard had the comely quality of Melvin and the blush of Pootsie, but unfortunately when Mr. Howard was given the script, he kept calling Herbert McMaster, "Fonzie" and telling Gary Cohn to make a pot roast like Aunt Bea used to.
Fortunately, the Lame Cherry hit upon the perfect replacement for Jared Kushner in Clint Howard, the fabulous acting brother of Ron Howard. Here is the perfect replacement for a cuck in manly Clint.
We have already printed up new bath towels in Clint Kushner. The President can just tell the press that Clint was just going by his Jewish name and that he has now decided to be more unorthodox and go by Clint.
Yes, the White House will be running smooth with Clint and Jessica in their new roles. Clint will have her fetching his slippers and doing the things Ivanka never did. Probably have to get McMaster to order up a cargo plane to remove all those strap ons. Is ok, as McMaster can drop them on Muslims with instructions they are a new chew toy.
I told Ivanka, going brunette makes your boobies look bigger
and makes Jared look like he has balls
agtG
