Why don't you just build it in the wood pile you asstard!
As another Lame Cherry exclusive in matter anti matter.
TL wanted to do something special today in it being TL's birthday, so I thought what could be better than to go trespass on property we want, to reflect on the worthless nature of Americans who have things.
See this property is farmed by the asshole distant relatives who are letting my great Grandpa's place go to rot, and this place is the same as the two boys who own it, would not reply to me about selling it, as the entire place falls down to ruin.
In a year since we have been there, a corn crib collapsed which had real promise.
It is a happy place though in a creek runs through it, which is why we want it, and it laughs over the rocks and just brings serenity to the Spirit in us.
So we were wandering around and I spot the archery stand that one of the asshole's kids has up in the bottom by the creek and walked over to check it out, as I might as well leave scent to louse up their future hunt.
No need for that really, as this inbred dimwit has his tree stand tied to a tree with a strap webbing and it is a three foot flag flopping in the wind. I swear these people are shit for brains in who the asshole married into, as the kids are all thinking they are smarter than Einstein, but have turds for thoughts.
I got to looking the metal stand over, and TL pointed out that there were small twigs all over it, so no one was using it for some time. I noted that there were no firing lanes, the tree was too close for the shot, and there were branches over most of the stand.
Seriously, this is like retard bowhunting stand 101 that any halfwit would know, and Asshole jr. has no idea what the hell he is doing.
I guessed as much as two years ago we were wandering around and saw a fresh deer leg, which a coyote had pulled off a fresh dead deer, that some Asshole's asshole kid had shot from a fucked up tree stand with goddamn branches all over the place, and being that fucked up, their arrow shooting was as bad, so they blew the shot, stuck the poor buck in the guts so it ran off, got sick and a goddamned coyote ate it, as the asshole was too much of shit for brains to track a deer, which is one of the easiest things there ever was.
I know I am blessed in tracking as I see with the Spirit, but damn my brother in law and the godson are shit for brains when it comes to that too, as they are forever hitting deer with arrows in bad spots, not being able to track worth a crap and then the deer dies, and off they go shooting deer until they finally find one that is too stupid to run off to tag.
I loathe shit like this and that is the problem is shit like this has all the things in America, because they are self centered shit who do not care about land, animals, other people or houses and barns not falling down.
Any way that is not the punchline on the story. This is.
So we vootch up the hill and lo and behold there is another tree stand with the hunters name on it. If I would have had a pen I would have crawled up and signed his tag with, "Hey you should change your name to SHIT FOR BRAINS as this is the worst goddamn tree stand placement I have ever seen!!!"
No shit Charlie Chan man. This like the other stand faces big old trees. I told TL, "Look at that firing lane, there is a branch over the stand!". There were about two holes in that 360 degree venue to shoot through, meaning this moron had about 15 degrees to make a shot, because he chose the wrong location and put his stand into a branch pile.
It gets better.
So we walk down the hill and I am just perplexed how damned stupid these people are, and I look down and there is a buck scrape, about 60 yards away. I look around and about 30 yards in back of this scrape is a dead old Cottonwood, no bark and pale as Donald Trump's ass. It is just begging for a tree stand, which a hunter could wrap in camo snow, put on his winter camo, shimmy up that tree stand, wait for mossy horns to come by and check if a doe pissed in his scrape and you put an arrow into his lungs.
There was a fresh deer track right in the center of the thing, and TL stepped in deer shit as we left and I laughed and said it would wear off, to which TL said, "You are enjoying this aren't you".
Of course I am, who doesn't enjoy other people stepping in deer shit and watching them dance. I stepped in chicken shit the day before and was dancing too.
I mean I was just wandering around and I found the deer scrape and the best place for the stand in 15 minutes, and these turd heads have been farming this land for twenty years and still ain't got it figured out.
As we got to the road Jr. Asshole drove by with a boom sprayer, spraying the road ditches. Never seen that before in fall as it is a waste of money, but hey I am for it their bankrupting themselves, as Jr. Asshole lives in a horse barn tin shed with his wife, who must be a real retard too in marrying into that outfit. She works her ass off, while Jr. Asshole sits in a cab in his t shirt being a senior asshole.
Thee only thing redemptive about this is America has about 80 million of these culls, along with the 140 million Trump foreign culls he has imported or left in the United States. I figure when war comes, they will use up most of Xi and Putin's arsenal, and then I will have my pick of property to settle on.
I just hope that the Eurasians don't drop nukes as those are metal tree stands, and they will absorb radioactive fall out and I sure do not want glowing ovaries as a bi product of a deer hunt, as I see well enough in the dark without radioactive menstrual cycles.
Nuff Said
agtG
agtG
