Thursday, January 11, 2018

I apologize for not extorting Money from You

 No comforting breasts for you, you non donating heathens, because Paula says!

As another Lame Cherry exclusive in matter anti matter.

I apologize as I have been going about this donation business all wrong, and I should have been like Donald Trump's spiritual adviser who orders people to send her money or God is going to dump a mountain of Everest burning sodomite sulfur burning tar on you, as God really loves that Paula White.

Donald Trump’s spiritual adviser has suggested that people send her money in order to transform their lives, or face divine consequences.
Paula White, who heads up the president’s evangelical advisory committee, suggested making a donation to her ministries to honor the religious principle of “first fruit,” which she said is the idea that all firsts belong to God, including the first harvest and, apparently, the first month of your salary.
"Right now I want you to click on that button, and I want you to honor God with his first fruits offering,” she said in a video shared to her website, in which she encourages her followers to donate to her ministries to get blessings from God.
“If God doesn’t divinely step in and intervene, I don’t know what you’re going to face—he does,” she said.


Man if I had a God like that, One Who liked having His Name in little "his" stuff posts, and still will haul your asses to hell for robbing Paul of additional breast implants, I would be drinking caviar and smoking cognac to keep warm while all of you 95 million poor people out of Trump work and all of you rich donortards who can't find that donate button, would be not cared for or prayed for, but you would be getting the big hurt put on you.

I am sort of thinking that this diety that Paula preaches must be the one that Ivanka says FUCK YOU to Steve Bannon over, as this diety likes women with silicon tits, peroxide hair and likes females that got their priorities straight in God loves money and only loves you, if you love forking over money to the blondes God loves.

I guess I am sorry that God does not love me like He loves Paula and Ivanka. I just never thought about threatening all of you non donors with things like ...........well Biblical plagues like frogs coming out of your bloody vaginas like the Nile and darkness so dark that are caused by your nipples being so perky they are blinding people as they poke their eyes out. Sorry but it has been awhile since I read about them plagues and I may have mixed a few things up, but I am sure it was bad as Paula is coming to get you.

In that I guess Paula and I have something in common in non donors. Mine are alive and Paula's are dead though as her diety kills them all off. I would think Paula should put up before and after pictures for effect. Like a picture of some child all happy for donating to Paula and then being eaten by a pack of saber tooth cats when that scamp refused to donate 75 dollars.
Please do not ask me how to figure out God's prices ok, as according to Paula, the God rate is 75 dollars. That seems cheap to me in 75 bucks, as that will barely get you a couple steaks and desert. Maybe Paula or God is on a diet. I don't know such things as I am not as intimate as Paula and Ivanke with God when it comes to money, as I just beg for it out in the homeless cold.

I just wanted to let you know that if you start smelling fire and brimstone that it ain't me. That is Paula. If like your cock gets a rash or your vulva gets festering, that ain't me, that is Paula. I am not saying that God has not killed people for me, but as far as I know it is not about donations.

As Paula says:

When you sow a First Fruits Offering of $75 or more, I will rush to you the book, the devotional and also a Paula White 2018 wall calendar! Track throughout the entire year prioritizing God with me!” her website says.

As Lame Cherry says,

"Sorry I missed the OR MORE part, but I will offer this free advice, that I ain't rushing you no book as you can read everything here, and you don't need no devotional to tell you to sing songs, pray and live respectable life to worship God, and if you are dumb enough to buy a calendar when businesses give them away, you got more asstard problems than this blog can fix."

Is probably why Paula's diety is killing off all them Darwin primates, No one wants followers who are too stupid to go steal a free calendar and can be blackmailed with threats of fire and brimstone to get them to hand out money for silicon implants and peroxide.

Donald Trump got a real winner there in Paula White. I figure he needs to appoint her to the IRS and with her threats she will have the entire US debt paid off for the President in 12 months or less.

Many thanks to Maggie for this exclusive as the Viking wrote to let me know he enjoys my posts, but I just can't figure out why he thinks I am not serious and only joking about all of this stuff.